Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 33: Episode 7
Fierce: The Hot Mess Makeover Show
Christian Siriano…..Amy Poehler
Tim Gunn…..Bill Hader
Heidi Klum…..Amy Adams
Announcer: Watch what happens when Bravo! brings you the newest makeover show.
[Christian sighs as he enters the apartment]
Christian: This place, it is like a hot tranny mess up in here!
Stephanie: Oh, well, I tried to clean up.
Announcer: Season 4 Project Runway winner Christian Siriano shows fashion victims the light on Fierce: The Hot Mess Makeover Show.
Christian: This jean jacket is a hot mess, but these stirrup pants are fierce. This turtleneck is tranny fierceness. Tranny!
Stephanie: I don’t…know what that means.
Christian: Fierce, tranny, you better work.
Stephanie: I’m sorry, I…do I look like a transvestite?
Announcer: Watch as the young fashion fiend flat-irons his hair and tells it like it is in his own private language.
Christian: [Going through contestant’s closet] Tranny, tranny, fierce, fierce, fierce, tranny, hot mess, cute, cute tranny, cute tranny, hot mess, tranny tranny…no, fierce, no, hot mess… [phone rings] Hold on, tranny. Hello? Hey tranny! It’s tranny. You’re a hot mess! Well you’re a tranny. Well you’re a hot tranny. Well you’re a hot mess. Well you are too! Bye!
Stephanie! I need to tell you something. You are a tranny who looks like a hot mess, and not in a good way. You’re a tickety tack tranny hot mess out of control super tranny from Transylvania who is not apologizing for it.
Stephanie: Is that good? Or…I’m sorry, I don’t understand a word you’re saying.
Announcer: Look who else stops by! Wise Bravo! elder…
Tim Gunn: That’s a lot of look.
Announcer: …Tim Gunn!
Tim Gunn: This worries me. Don’t bore Nina! Make it work.
Christian: No, YOU make it work, silver tranny ferocia!
Tim Gunn: We’re gonna have to go through your underwear drawer.
Stephanie: I thought you were gonna redo my bedroom.
Christian: Hey look! Look at these tranny panties. [Tim holds his nose] Hot mess.
Announcer: Enjoy everyone’s catchphrases! And check out this fierceness.
Heidi Klum: You’re either in or you’re out.
Announcer: Heidi Klum!
Heidi Klum: I’m sorry, Stephanie, you’re out! Auf Wiedersehen! [Heidi kisses Stephanie on both cheeks]
Stephanie: But I live here.
Heidi Klum: I’m so sorry, you’re out.
Stephanie: But can I come back?
Heidi Klum: No, you cannot come in or out. You’re out, you have to stay out!
Stephanie: I don’t get this show!
Heidi Klum: Oh, obviously.
Christian: Bye, have fun, tranny!
Tim Gunn: Make it work. That worried me.
Heidi Klum: Out!
Announcer: Fierce: The Hot Mess Makeover Show. Like Project Runway, with some of the same people, half the budget and twice the catchphrases. Scratch that–THREE times the catchphrases!
Submitted by: Joe Murray