SNL Transcripts: Amy Adams: 03/08/08: Amy Adams’ Monologue


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 33: Episode 7

07g: Amy Adams / Vampire Weekend

Amy Adams’ Monologue

…..Amy Adams
Kristen Wiig…..Amy Adams

Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen — Amy Adams!

Amy Adams: WOW!! Thank you! Thank you very much! Hello! I’m Amy Adams, and welcome to “Saturday Night Live”! And I have been having such an incredible time here, and everyone has been treating me like a real princess! [ she laughs ] Um — I’ve been working with so many talented, wonderful people this week, and — get this, the cutest thing is that one of the cast members, she — she looks so much like me! She could be my sister, you know? [ she glances offscreen ] Kristen? Come up here! Everybody — Kristen Wiig!

[ Kristen Wiig appears on stage ]

Look at us.

[ they put their heads together and smile ]

Isn’t it amazing? Actually, we are SO similar that, uh, we were up for a lot of the same parts in the show, and, three or four times this week, Kristen was gracious enough to step aside. [ Kristen frowns ] But… she’s fine with it! We’re like BEST friends! [ Kristen giggles nervously ] We’re like SISTERS!

Kristen Wiig: [ giggles more nervously, throws her arms in the air ] SIS-TERS!

[ the house band begins to play “What Is This Feeling (Loathing)”, from the movie “Wicked” ]

Amy Adams: “What is this feeling, so sudden and new?”

Kristen Wiig: “I felt it the moment I laid eyes on you.”

Amy Adams: “My pulse is rushing.”

Kristen Wiig: “My head is reeling.”

Amy Adams: “My face is flushing.”

“What is this feeling?
Fervid as a flame
Does it have a name?
Unadulterated loathing.”

Kristen Wiig: “For your face…”

Amy Adams: “Jaguar!”

Kristen Wiig: “‘Your clothing!”

“Let’s just say
I loathe it all!
Every little trait however small
Makes my very flesh begin to crawl
With simple utter loathing
There’s a strange exhileration
In such total detestation
It’s so pure, so strong!
Though I do admit it came on fast
Still I do believe that it can last
And I will be loathing, loathing you
My whole life long!”

Amy Adams: I am younger than you!

Kristen Wiig: I am taller than you!

Amy Adams: I have my original teeth!

Kristen Wiig: I’m… taller than you!

Amy Adams: Wait — wait — this is — this is crazy. I mean, I want you to know that no matter what happens tonight, Kristen… I loathe you! [ she slaps Kristen across the face ] I honestly loathe you!

Kristen Wiig: Ohhh, Amy! [ she punches Amy across the face ] I loathe you, too!

[ they hug one another at a distance, how sweet ]

“Though I do admit it came on fast
Still I do believe that it can last
And I will be loathing
For forever
Truly deeply
Loathing you…
My whole life lo-o-o-o-o-ong!”

[ Amy pushes Kristen out frame ]

Amy Adams: We’ve got a —

[ Kristen runs back into frame ]

Together: GREAT SHOW!!!

Amy Adams: Vampire Weekend is here, so stick around, we’ll be right back!

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. - LinkedIn

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