SNL Transcripts: Jonah Hill: 03/15/08


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 33: Episode 8

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Air Date:


Musical Guest:

Special Guests:


Bit Players:

March 15th, 2008

Jonah Hill

Mariah Carey


Tracy Morgan


Jim Downey

Spitzer & AssociatesSummary: Following his resignation for being caught with call girls, New York governor Eliot Spitzer (Bill Hader) announces that he will open a law firm and tackle similarly embarrassing cases.


MontageNote: Jonah Hill was originally scheduled to host just prior to the Writer’s Guild Strike.

Note: Janet Jackson was originally scheduled to be tonight’s musical guest, but had to cancel early in the week when she came down with the flu.

Jonah Hill’s MonologueSummary: Jonah Hill employs raunchy lyrics to sing about how fancy he is.

Bio: Jonah Hill (1983-). Actor/writer; freqient collaborator with Seth Rogan; appeared in the films “Knocked Up” (2007) and “Superbad” (2007).

MacGruberSummary: MacGruber (Will Forte) refuses to detonate a bomb until Vicky (Kristien Wiig) and Isaac (Jonah Hill) own up to their dissatisfaction with his job performance.

Recurring Characters: MacGruber, Vicky.


What’s Your Situation?Summary: Slimy, obnoxious Lou Delholm (Jonah Hill) uses his game show solely as an excuse to find a woman who will date him.


Six Year OldSummary: A six-year old (Jonah Hill) embarrasses his newly-divorced dad (Bill Hader) by obnoxiously performing Borscht Belt humor in front of the hibachi crowd at Benihana’s.


MacGruber IISummary: Refusing to detonate a bomb, MacGruber (Will Forte) switches places with Isaac (Jonah Hill) and watches him squirm.

Recurring Characters: MacGruber, Vicky.


The Suze Orman ShowSummary: Suze Orman (Kristen Wiig) advices her viewers to live like a cheapskate in order to keep themselves financially stable.


An SNL Digital ShortSummary: Andy Samberg is shocked when he discovers that Jonah Hill has entered into a gay relationship with his dad (Jim Downey).


Mariah Carey performs “Touch My Body”First Performed: 90d.

Weekend Update with Amy Poehler & Seth MeyersSummary: Seth Meyers and Amy Poehler ask “Really!?!” after Eliot Spitzer is busted in the prostitution ring. Tracy Morgan responds to the issue of race i the Presidential election.


Target GreatlandSummary: The Target clerk (Kristen Wiig) offers relationship advice to co-worker Jeremy (Jonah Hill) as he frets over asking out another employee.

Recurring Characters: Target Lady.

NBC Special ReportSummary: Brian Williams (Will Forte) reveals startling evidence which suggests Sen. John McCain (Darrell Hammond) is old.

Recurring Characters: Brian Williams, John McCain.


Clancy T. Bachleratt and Jackie Snad Sing Songs about Spaceships, Toddlers, Model T. Cars & Jars of BeerSummary: Spokesman (Jonah Hill) touts the joint collaboration of patriotic country musicians Clancy T. Bachleratt (Will Forte) and Jackie Snad (Kristen Wiig).

Mariah Carey featuring T-Pain performs “Migrate”Bio: T-Pain (1985-). Hip hop artist/producer.

Internet Blind DateSummary: Schlumpy Dean’s (Jonah Hill) hot date (Casey Wilson) discovers he lied about himself over the Internet.




Dress Rehearsal Cuts

Tyler Perry’s New MovieSummary: Tyler Perry (Kenan Thompson) promotes his new movie which features actual white actors.

MacGruber IIISummary: After refusing to detonate a bomb, MacGruber (Will Forte) employs the aid of a Life Coach (Bill Hader) to provide positive re-enforcement.

Recurring Characters: MacGruber, Vicky.


JugglerSummary: A juggler (Jason Sudeikis) begs people to come to him for juggling lessons after his flyer produces no results.

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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