Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 33: Episode 8
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Air Date:Host:Musical Guest:Special Guests:Cameos:Bit Players:
March 15th, 2008
Jonah Hill
Mariah Carey
None
Tracy Morgan
T-Pain
Jim Downey
Spitzer & AssociatesSummary: Following his resignation for being caught with call girls, New York governor Eliot Spitzer (Bill Hader) announces that he will open a law firm and tackle similarly embarrassing cases.
Transcript
MontageNote: Jonah Hill was originally scheduled to host just prior to the Writer’s Guild Strike.
Note: Janet Jackson was originally scheduled to be tonight’s musical guest, but had to cancel early in the week when she came down with the flu.
Jonah Hill’s MonologueSummary: Jonah Hill employs raunchy lyrics to sing about how fancy he is.
Bio: Jonah Hill (1983-). Actor/writer; freqient collaborator with Seth Rogan; appeared in the films “Knocked Up” (2007) and “Superbad” (2007).
MacGruberSummary: MacGruber (Will Forte) refuses to detonate a bomb until Vicky (Kristien Wiig) and Isaac (Jonah Hill) own up to their dissatisfaction with his job performance.
Recurring Characters: MacGruber, Vicky.
Transcript
What’s Your Situation?Summary: Slimy, obnoxious Lou Delholm (Jonah Hill) uses his game show solely as an excuse to find a woman who will date him.
Transcript
Six Year OldSummary: A six-year old (Jonah Hill) embarrasses his newly-divorced dad (Bill Hader) by obnoxiously performing Borscht Belt humor in front of the hibachi crowd at Benihana’s.
Transcript
MacGruber IISummary: Refusing to detonate a bomb, MacGruber (Will Forte) switches places with Isaac (Jonah Hill) and watches him squirm.
Recurring Characters: MacGruber, Vicky.
Transcript
The Suze Orman ShowSummary: Suze Orman (Kristen Wiig) advices her viewers to live like a cheapskate in order to keep themselves financially stable.
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An SNL Digital ShortSummary: Andy Samberg is shocked when he discovers that Jonah Hill has entered into a gay relationship with his dad (Jim Downey).
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Mariah Carey performs “Touch My Body”First Performed: 90d.
Weekend Update with Amy Poehler & Seth MeyersSummary: Seth Meyers and Amy Poehler ask “Really!?!” after Eliot Spitzer is busted in the prostitution ring. Tracy Morgan responds to the issue of race i the Presidential election.
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Target GreatlandSummary: The Target clerk (Kristen Wiig) offers relationship advice to co-worker Jeremy (Jonah Hill) as he frets over asking out another employee.
Recurring Characters: Target Lady.
NBC Special ReportSummary: Brian Williams (Will Forte) reveals startling evidence which suggests Sen. John McCain (Darrell Hammond) is old.
Recurring Characters: Brian Williams, John McCain.
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Clancy T. Bachleratt and Jackie Snad Sing Songs about Spaceships, Toddlers, Model T. Cars & Jars of BeerSummary: Spokesman (Jonah Hill) touts the joint collaboration of patriotic country musicians Clancy T. Bachleratt (Will Forte) and Jackie Snad (Kristen Wiig).
Mariah Carey featuring T-Pain performs “Migrate”Bio: T-Pain (1985-). Hip hop artist/producer.
Internet Blind DateSummary: Schlumpy Dean’s (Jonah Hill) hot date (Casey Wilson) discovers he lied about himself over the Internet.
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GoodnightsTranscript
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Dress Rehearsal Cuts
Tyler Perry’s New MovieSummary: Tyler Perry (Kenan Thompson) promotes his new movie which features actual white actors.
MacGruber IIISummary: After refusing to detonate a bomb, MacGruber (Will Forte) employs the aid of a Life Coach (Bill Hader) to provide positive re-enforcement.
Recurring Characters: MacGruber, Vicky.
Transcript
JugglerSummary: A juggler (Jason Sudeikis) begs people to come to him for juggling lessons after his flyer produces no results.
