SNL Transcripts: Jonah Hill: 03/15/08: What’s Your Situation?


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 33: Episode 8

07h: Jonah Hill / Mariah Carey

What’s Your Situation?

Lou Delholm…..Jonah Hill
Bethany Graham…..Kristen Wiig
Tanya Perkins…..Casey Wilson
Rhonda…..Amy Poehler

Announcer: It’s time once again for everyone’s favorite brain-busting game show: “What’s Your Situation?” And here is your host Lou Delholm.

Lou Delholm: Hi everybody, I’m Lou Delholm and as always we’ve got a great game for you, so let’s get right to it. Contestants, for 50 points: what measure of energy comes from the Latin word meaning heat? Bethany Graham from White Plains?

Bethany Graham: That would be the calorie.

Lou Delholm: Very good Bethany, you are on the board! And let’s follow up this question with another one just for you: Bethany, what’s your situation?

Bethany Graham: I… I’m sorry, what?

Lou Delholm: You know, what’s your situation, are you single, are you seeing somebody or?…

Bethany Graham: Oh, I’m single at the moment…

Lou Delholm: It’s good to know, it’s good to know… cool, cool, it’s good to know…Our next question is from the world of sports, here we go: this nine-time Olympic gold medalist… Tanya Perkins with the early buzz?

Tanya Perkins: Is it Jackie Joyner-Kersee?

Lou Delholm: Oh, I’m sorry, Tanya, we were looking for Mark Spitz. But let me hear you up with the follow-up question though. Tanya, what’s your situation?

Tanya Perkins: Is this for points?

Lou Delholm: It could be… it could be for a lot of points, what’s your situation?

Tanya Perkins: Um… I’m married.

Lou Delholm: Oh… why?

Tanya Perkins: ‘Cause I love my husband?

Lou Delholm: Well, that’s the end of the road for Tanya; thanks so much for playing the game.

Tanya Perkins: That’s it?

Lou Delholm: Yeah, bye Tanya. Rhonda, you’ve been awful quiet over there.

Rhonda: Uh-huh?

Lou Delholm: You want something to drink? Something, a daiquiri or something?

Rhonda: I’d love a question.

Lou Delholm: Okay, here’s one: Rhonda, what’s your sitch?

Rhonda: I’m sorry, what does this have to do with the game?

Lou Delholm: Are you a lesbian, is that it?

Rhonda: What’s wrong with you?

Lou Delholm: It’s cool Rhonda, you’re a lesbian, whatever. And that means Bethany’s our big winner today!

Bethany Graham: I only answered one question…

Lou Delholm: Good enough for me, and now here’s your chance to double your money. Walk this way and take a crack at our isolation chamber.

Bethany Graham: Ooh.

Lou Delholm: You have 30 seconds, let’s go, come on.

Bethany Graham: Wait, you’re coming too?

Lou Delholm: Yeah, I’m gonna come in, also.

Bethany Graham: Oh.

[ they enter the isolation booth together, now seen only in silhoette ]

Lou Delholm: So, what’s up?

Bethany Graham: Um, what’s up with what?

Lou Delholm: I dunno know, you tell me…

Bethany Graham: Am I winning?

Lou Delholm: Yeah, it’s so definitely.

Bethany Graham: Okay, look, I think I’m gonna go.

Lou Delholm: Shh, what kind of music do you like, Maroon 5?

Bethany Graham: Okay, what, what, can you open this door, please?

Lou Delholm: Sure, yeah, okay.

[ he opens the door, they step out of the isolation booth ]

Bethany Graham: Creep. [ she exits ]

Lou Delholm: Man, she got weird.

Rhonda: Yeah.

Lou Delholm: Well, don’t you go anywhere because when we come back, Rhonda is gonna be trying her luck in the isolation booth.

Rhonda: No, I’m not.

Lou Delholm: We’ll be right back.

Rhonda: I’m not going in there.

Lou Delholm: You should.

Rhonda: No, I don’t want to. Thank you.

Lou Delholm: You should…

[ fade ]

Submitted by: Jacques

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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