Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 33: Episode 8
What’s Your Situation?
Lou Delholm…..Jonah Hill
Bethany Graham…..Kristen Wiig
Tanya Perkins…..Casey Wilson
Announcer: Its time once again for everyones favorite brain-busting game show: Whats Your Situation? And here is your host Lou Delholm.
Lou Delholm: Hi everybody, Im Lou Delholm and as always weve got a great game for you, so lets get right to it. Contestants, for 50 points: what measure of energy comes from the Latin word meaning heat? Bethany Graham from White Plains?
Bethany Graham: That would be the calorie.
Lou Delholm: Very good Bethany, you are on the board! And lets follow up this question with another one just for you: Bethany, whats your situation?
Bethany Graham: I… Im sorry, what?
Lou Delholm: You know, whats your situation, are you single, are you seeing somebody or?…
Bethany Graham: Oh, Im single at the moment…
Lou Delholm: Its good to know, its good to know… cool, cool, its good to know…Our next question is from the world of sports, here we go: this nine-time Olympic gold medalist… Tanya Perkins with the early buzz?
Tanya Perkins: Is it Jackie Joyner-Kersee?
Lou Delholm: Oh, Im sorry, Tanya, we were looking for Mark Spitz. But let me hear you up with the follow-up question though. Tanya, whats your situation?
Tanya Perkins: Is this for points?
Lou Delholm: It could be… it could be for a lot of points, whats your situation?
Tanya Perkins: Um… Im married.
Lou Delholm: Oh… why?
Tanya Perkins: Cause I love my husband?
Lou Delholm: Well, thats the end of the road for Tanya; thanks so much for playing the game.
Tanya Perkins: Thats it?
Lou Delholm: Yeah, bye Tanya. Rhonda, youve been awful quiet over there.
Lou Delholm: You want something to drink? Something, a daiquiri or something?
Rhonda: Id love a question.
Lou Delholm: Okay, heres one: Rhonda, whats your sitch?
Rhonda: Im sorry, what does this have to do with the game?
Lou Delholm: Are you a lesbian, is that it?
Rhonda: Whats wrong with you?
Lou Delholm: Its cool Rhonda, youre a lesbian, whatever. And that means Bethanys our big winner today!
Bethany Graham: I only answered one question…
Lou Delholm: Good enough for me, and now heres your chance to double your money. Walk this way and take a crack at our isolation chamber.
Bethany Graham: Ooh.
Lou Delholm: You have 30 seconds, lets go, come on.
Bethany Graham: Wait, youre coming too?
Lou Delholm: Yeah, Im gonna come in, also.
Bethany Graham: Oh.[ they enter the isolation booth together, now seen only in silhoette ]
Lou Delholm: So, whats up?
Bethany Graham: Um, whats up with what?
Lou Delholm: I dunno know, you tell me…
Bethany Graham: Am I winning?
Lou Delholm: Yeah, its so definitely.
Bethany Graham: Okay, look, I think Im gonna go.
Lou Delholm: Shh, what kind of music do you like, Maroon 5?
Bethany Graham: Okay, what, what, can you open this door, please?
Lou Delholm: Sure, yeah, okay.[ he opens the door, they step out of the isolation booth ]
Bethany Graham: Creep. [ she exits ]
Lou Delholm: Man, she got weird.
Lou Delholm: Well, dont you go anywhere because when we come back, Rhonda is gonna be trying her luck in the isolation booth.
Rhonda: No, Im not.
Lou Delholm: Well be right back.
Rhonda: Im not going in there.
Lou Delholm: You should.
Rhonda: No, I dont want to. Thank you.
Lou Delholm: You should…[ fade ]
Submitted by: Jacques