Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 33: Episode 12
The Democratic Primaries
Barack Obama…..Fred Armisen
Hillary Clinton…..Amy Poehler
[ open on split-screen image of Barack Obama’s and Hillary Clinton’s face ]
Together: Democratic Primaries. A race for the nomination. From January to June —
Barack Obama: Ideally, sooner.
Together: — the fate of a party hangs in the balance. From Iowa —
Hillary Clinton: Which was a caucus state, and shouldn’t carry as much weight.
Together: — to California.
Barack Obama: Which any Democrat would carry in the general election, anyway.
Together: From the hope of the future —
Barack Obama: The youth.
Together: — to the backbone of the party.
Hillary Clinton: Hard-working white people!
Together: Now, two candidates remain.
Barack Obama: Only one mathemetically viable.
Hillary Clinton: And it’s anyone’s race.
Together: Both have their assets —
Barack Obama: Charisma.
Hillary Clinton: Ruthless ambition!
Together: — and their liabilities.
Hillary Clinton: [ smiles ] Rev. Jeremiah Wright.
Barack Obama: Bill Clinton.
Together: And they both have their eyes on one prize: the Democratic Nomination.
Hillary Clinton: — in 2012.
Together: It’s not over until all the votes are counted —
Hillary Clinton: Including Michigan and Florida!
Together: — until all the superdelegates have voted —
Barack Obama: An important mandate to the people.
Hillary Clinton: Having made up their minds, independently.
Together: Because, in the end, no matter who wins, we can all stand behind one idea:
Barack Obama: Democracy.
Hillary Clinton: I deserve this![ SUPER: “There Can Only Be One” ] [ fade ]