SNL Transcripts: Steve Carell: 05/17/08: The Democratic Primariese


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 33: Episode 12

07l: Steve Carell / Usher

The Democratic Primaries

Barack Obama…..Fred Armisen
Hillary Clinton…..Amy Poehler

[ open on split-screen image of Barack Obama’s and Hillary Clinton’s face ]

Together: Democratic Primaries. A race for the nomination. From January to June —

Barack Obama: Ideally, sooner.

Together: — the fate of a party hangs in the balance. From Iowa —

Hillary Clinton: Which was a caucus state, and shouldn’t carry as much weight.

Together: — to California.

Barack Obama: Which any Democrat would carry in the general election, anyway.

Together: From the hope of the future —

Barack Obama: The youth.

Together: — to the backbone of the party.

Hillary Clinton: Hard-working white people!

Together: Now, two candidates remain.

Barack Obama: Only one mathemetically viable.

Hillary Clinton: And it’s anyone’s race.

Together: Both have their assets —

Barack Obama: Charisma.

Hillary Clinton: Ruthless ambition!

Together: — and their liabilities.

Hillary Clinton: [ smiles ] Rev. Jeremiah Wright.

Barack Obama: Bill Clinton.

Together: And they both have their eyes on one prize: the Democratic Nomination.

Hillary Clinton: — in 2012.

Together: It’s not over until all the votes are counted —

Hillary Clinton: Including Michigan and Florida!

Together: — until all the superdelegates have voted —

Barack Obama: An important mandate to the people.

Hillary Clinton: Having made up their minds, independently.

Together: Because, in the end, no matter who wins, we can all stand behind one idea:

Barack Obama: Democracy.

Hillary Clinton: I deserve this!

[ SUPER: “There Can Only Be One” ] [ fade ]

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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