Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Special: Saturday Night Live in the ’90s: Pop Culture Nation
Wayne’s World: 12/05/92
Announcer: You are watching Aurora, Illinois Community Access Channel.[ jump edit ] [ “Top Ten Things We Love About Bill Clinton” ]
Wayne & Garth: “Wayne’s World! Top Ten! Things We Love! About Bill Clinton!”
Wayne: Alright! Okay!
Wayne: Okay! Number 10: [ Garth pulls the strip ] “Universal Health Care.” I don’t know.. it just seems to make sense these days.
Garth: Right![ slide edit ]
Wayne: Alright! Number 6 is: [ Garth pulls the strip ]
Together: “Don’t! Stop! Think-ing a-bout to-mor-row!!”
Garth: We love that song!
Wayne: Hello! Fleetwood Mac? Hello, it’s the 90’s! Here’s a quarter — buy a clue!
Tom Davis: That had to be one of the best years for Lorne, because his first son was born, and “Wayne’s World” was the #1 movie.
Aerosmith performs “Sweet Emotion”: 10/09/93
Dana Carvey: It’s shocking that it became as big as it did. I-I mean, I just didn’t know. I don’t think Mike did, either.
Mike Myers: It was very, very flattering to, uh — you know, think of something in the bath on Sunday, write it up on Tuesday, and then, it’d be somebody saying the words back to you on the following Monday. Uh — it’s a real mind blower.
Michael Shoemaker: “Wayne’s World” really raised the profile of the show, and the ratings were crazy.
Lorne Michaels: It brought another audience to the show. And, ultimately, uh, Mike and Dana and others had movie careers.
Tim Meadows: Coming in the wake of “Wayne’s World”, I think everybody felt that it was their job to get a new character.
The Richmeister: 01/19/91
Sting: Hey, Richard.
Richmeister: [ looks up, smiles ] Stiiiiing! Der Stingelhoffer! Making copies! The McStingster! Stingatola! Stiiiiiiing!! [ pause ] Sting-a-ling-a-ding-ding-ding-dong!
Misery II: 02/16/91
Lorne Michaels: — We have this new thing now, with this guy who says people’s names over and over. Like, he would call you “Sheriff.. the Sheriffster.. the Sheriff-rama.. as in, “The Sheriff-rama, on the phone with the Lorne-meister.” Oh, it’s the new thing, people just love it!
Julia Sweeney: It brings you right into the pop-conciousness, uh — you know, the culture — to have a hit character that’s being recurred.
It’s Pat: 11/16/91
Head Trainer: Okay. Age?
Head Trainer: Height?
Pat: 5′ 8″.
Head Trainer: Sex?[ they exchange curious glances ]
Pat: Yes! Please! [ giggles coquettishly ] That’s my little JOKE!
Paula Pell: People watch this show, they want something that feels familiar, because that’s one of those things about the show which makes you feel like you’re a part of it. Oh, you haven’t seen this! Oh, you’ve gotta watch! They do this certain thing!”
Bill Swerski’s Super Fans: 11/23/91
Super Fans: [ beer mugs raised ] Da Bears!!
The Tonight Show: 10/27/90
Ed McMahon: You are correct, Sir! Yes!
Coffee Talk: 12/12/92
Linda Richman: I’m a little verklempt!
Daily Affirmation: 02/09/91
Stuart Smalley: — and that’s.. okay!
Tim Meadows: The good thing about a repeating character is that people look forward to seeing it.
Dieter: Now I am as happy as a little girl!
Tim Meadows: The bad thing about a repeating character — [ smiles ] is that people look forward to seeing it! [ laughs ]
Barenaked Ladies performs “It’s All Been Done”: 02/06/99
Barenaked Ladies: [ singing ]“And if I put my fingers here
And if I say, ‘I love you, dear’
And if I play the same three chords
Will you just yawn and say:
It’s all been done (whoo-hoo-hoo!)
It’s all been done (whoo-hoo-hoo!)
It’s all been done before!”
Chris Rock: [ laughs ] It’s like, “I’m gonna do EXACTLY what Mike Myers does!”
I’m Chillin’: 04/18/92
Announcer: Live, from the Marcy Projects, it’s “I’m Chillin'”!
Chris Rock: “I’m Chillin'”? He-ey — “Wayne’s World”! Hey, let’s figure out a way to do “Wayne’s World” with a black guy. Okay!
I’m Chillin’: 04/18/92
Onski: I’m your host, Onski. To the highest degree. To the T-O-P. Yo! It’s all about.. muh-wee! And sittin’ by my side is my main man, my toucan Sam, my ace boon coon, my brand new tune, my Vi-dal Sas-soon, my Looney Toon, my Daniel Boone, my ancient room, my big bal-loon, my wrinkled prune, my gold doubloon, my cat in the cradle and the silver spoon, Little Boy blue and the Man in the MIS-SOON — it’s B Fats! Yo, B! Tell ’em how you feel!
Sarah Silverman: I love watching friends perform together, because you can SEE it! And you can really see that with Adam and Spade and Farley and Rob Schneider, and they’re all best friends.
David Spade: The best times for me were: I shared an office with Farley.. and you had to walk through ours to get to a back office, which was Chris Rock and Sandler. So, at all times, I get to be with three of the strongest comedy people out there, aaand.. that makes everyone better because everyone’s trying to make each other laugh.
Matt Foley: Motivational Speaker: 05/08/93
Matt Foley: Now, young man, what do you want to do with your life?
Brian: [ nervous ] I — actually, Matt, I kinda wanna be a writer.
Matt Foley: We-e-e-elll, la-de-freakin’-da! We’ve got ourselves a writer here! [ jumps across the room ] Hey, Dad! I can’t see real good! [ lifts his glasses off and on his face ] Is that Bill Shakespeare over there?
Dad: Well, actually, Matt — Ellen and I have encouraged Brian in his writing.
Matt Foley: Dad, I wish you could just shut your big yapper! [ stumbles back across the room ] Now, I wonder — Brian, from what I’ve heard, you’re using your paper, not for writing, but for rolling doobies!! You’re gonna be doing a lot of doobie-rolling when you’re living in a van down by the river!
David Spade: We went into work, and we just got a sign and an office together. And he’d get bored and finish it and be behind me, going, “David! Turn around!” And I’m be, like, “Dude! If this is Fat Guy in Little Coat again, it’s not funny any more.” And he goes: “Nooo! I swear, it’s new!” [ laughs ] And then I’d turn around — I’ve got my Levi jacket on — Fat Guy in Little Coat! It’s fun-ny! [ whispers ] Don’t you quit on me.
Rob Smigel: Farley and Sandler came in, and then Schneider and Spade as well, but, suddenly, you have these kids who were really turning things upside-down.
Fred Wolf: Those guys had this.. rock-and-roll sensibility, and it became cool. It became.. what everybody was looking for. “How can I get — how can I be a part of all this.. youth culture, and – and the pop culture?” And, “How can I know what’s going on and be hip?” And stuff like that. “I gotta watch ‘Saturday Night Live.'”
Lunch Lady Land: 01/15/93
Adam Sandler: [ singing ]“Sloppy joe slop sloppy joe yeah
Sloppy joe slop sloppy joe ooh-yeah
(with Chris Farley)
Sloppy joe slop sloppy joe yeah
Sloppy joe slop sloppy joe -YEAH!”
Norm MacDonald: When Chris and Adam were together, that was my favorite thing to watch. Because they loved each other so much, and Chris would always try to make Adam laugh —
Beverly: [ reading ] “The City Steakhouse serves the best beef in town, their sensual setting will set the mood for any romantic rendez-vous” Oh, hear that Hank?[ Beverly rubs Hank’s leg while giving another giant smile, Adam Sandler starts cracking up ]
Hank: Give me cancer NOW, God!
Fred Wolf: When Farley’s name came up, it was unanimous agreement — he’s the funniest. And – and, in a sense, it’s probably liberating for all those guys to be able to say, “Well, yeah, HE’S the funniest!”
Men’s Jazz Dancing Ensemble: 02/20/93
Chris Rock: Farley didn’t have to write. Farley pretty much had every writer – [ laughs ] on the show kind of worked for him!
Jim Downey: Physically, he was — he had no problem risking his life for comedy.[ image: Giuliani’s Inauguration: 01/08/93 ] [ image: NRA Theater: 05/11/91 ] [ image: Motivational Santa: 12/11/93 ] [ image: Matt Foley: Motivational Speaker: 05/08/93 ] [ image: Matt Foley in Prison: 02/19/94 ]
David Spade: Basically, it’s, like, “Uh, by the way, we’re gonna do that again, but don’t put your hands down. Just hit the table with your face.” “Got it!” [ makes crashing sound effect ]
Rob Smigel: And, one of the funniest things about him, that’s illustrated in the Chippendale’s sketch — that Downey wrote — was, uh, you know, to see a guy that fat be that athletic and nimble. It’s just.. breahtaking! That’s still, probably, one of the five funniest moments in the history of the show.
Coming up Next: The Stand Ups