Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 34: Episode 3
Anna Faris’ Monologue
…..Anna Faris
Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen — Anna Faris!
Anna Faris: Thank you, thank you very, very much! You guys, Im SO excited to be here, hosting “Saturday Night Live”. A lot of you know me from my movie, “The House Bunny”… (audience applauds) and, uh… Ive played a lot of parts when Ive had to be a blonde, and because of that, a lot of people think I am a dumb blonde, and Im here to tell you its totally true. I am, and I just want you all to know, Im fine with that! Im just enjoying life, having a good time, so what I do care if Im a little bit of an airhead?
(Camera cuts away from audience to side of Anna; she turns and looks)
But can I tell you a secret? Ill be in a conversation sometimes, and not only will I not know what people are talking about, Ill forget who they are. Its like my head is a prison.
(Looks back at audience)
Whoo! But you know, enough about that, I am so psyched to be here! All week, I was like What day is the show happening? And they were like Saturday! And I was like Youre joking! And they were all Why do you think its called Saturday Night Live?
(Camera again turns to sideview of Anna)
But the thing is, I had no idea it was called that. I didnt even know this was a TV show until like an hour ago.
(Looks back at audience)
Whoo! But the important thing is we are gonna have fun tonight, and I know a thing or two about fun! Party!
(Camera again cuts away from audience; Anna pauses)
I… forgot what I was gonna say.
(Looks back at audience)
Whoo! Oh yeah, I remember! We got a great show for you tonight! Duffy is here! I hope thats a person! So stick around, and we will be right back!
Submitted by: Joe Murray
