Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 34: Episode 4
08d: Anne Hathaway / The Killers
The Lawrence Welk Show
Lawrence Welk…..Fred Armisen
Janice…..Anne Hathaway
Holly…..Amy Poehler
Nora…..Casey Wilson
Denise…..Kristen Wiig
Announcer: PBS now returns to another mildly enjoyable moment from the Lawrence Welk Show.
Lawrence Welk: Thank you, Thank you. And I am sorry to say we have come to that time again, time to say goodnight. I want to thank all our wonderful guests tonight. We’ve enjoyed the beautiful harmonies of the lovely Lennon Sisters, Joe Finni and Guy Holy, the deep baratone of Larry Hooper, the very nice and entertaining accordian sounds of Myron Florin, and the high clicking quick steps of Bobby and Cissy. Bobby, when are you gonna ask Cissy to marry you? She’s ready. Now to take us out is a sister act from the Finger Lakes making their wonderful “Lawrence Welk Show” debut. Please welcome the Meryl Sisters. And a one, and a two…
[dissolve to the Meryl Sisters, which consist of three attractive girls and a fourth who has a large forehead and tiny arms and sings terribly off-key]
All girls: [singing]Sisters do as sisters should,
we’re all together, sisters
Janice: I’m Janice
Holly: I’m Holly
Nora: I’m Nora
Denise: And I’m Denise.
All:
Sisters always stick together
even when they fall in love
Janice: Like with my boyfriend
Holly: With my husband
Nora: With my fiancee
Denise: With me by myself.
All:
Even though we’re all alike,
we enjoy different things.
Janice: I like waterfalls
Holly: I like butterflies
Nora: I like rainbows
Denise: I like chasing cars.
All:
We’ve enjoyed our time with you
but now we have to run
Holly: Goodnight
Nora: Sweet dreams
Janice: Sleep tight
Denise:
I found a dead cat on the side of the road,
so I took it home and put some honey on it,
and I cooked it and then I ate it
Is that bad? Doo doo doo doo
Janice: Denise! Shut up!
(the other sisters leave Denise behind.)
Lawrence Welk: Thank you, thank you. Wonderful. Was her forehead really big, or was I looking through a couple of bubbles? (Denise goes around him, popping bubbles.) Thank you, thank you to our sponsors, Mammoth automobiles, and Clorox facial soap. Goodnight, and keep the song in your heart.
Submitted by: JMan and Adam
weird but funny
hello meghan
wdym?
this is so funny like , i rolled off the bed :), this video made my day!!!!! :]
OMG sameeeeee. It was so funny.
This song made my day I laughed so hard I rolled of the couch and could not take a breath
That’s really funny I love the meme I can’t get over it
aboodalaka
I found a dead cat on the side of the road so I picked it up and brought it home and put some honey on it and cooked it then ate it is that bad? Do do foo foo