Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 34: Episode 5
New York Underground with Trevor Dix
Trevor Dix….Bill Hader
Joshua Rainhorn….Fred Armisen
Bellman Twins….Amy Poehler, Casey Wilson
U-turn committee….Kristen Wiig
Science finger….Will Forte
(Opens with NY Underground with Trevor Dix montage. Trevor walks fast down a NYC sidewalk, English accent)
Trevor Dix: New York, New York, a city of 8 million people. (Cut to Trevor sitting in a chair on an outdoors cafe, he gets up) But where do they go at night? Where do they go to unwind? (Trevor gets off a NYC cab) Empire State Building? Times Square? Maybe if you´re a tourist. (Trevor gets on another NYC cab) But if you´re a real New Yorker, where you wanna go is here! (Cut to Trevor in a crummy neighborhood, standing in front of dilapidated buildings filled with graffiti.) The Lower East Side. The Kennel Club. (Cut to the club, its a piano bar) This has been the venue for such acts as Rowboat(picture of the band), The Bellman Twins (picture of the sad twins), The U-turn Committee (picture of them on stage) and Science Finger (cover of their new wave album) to name just a few. Tonight, Joshua Rainhorn. (cut to photo of Joshua in a white blazer, holding a coffee cup) He´s known for his dynamic performances. (Intercut of Joshua tuning his instruments)Leaving some of his audience members “literally weeping” end quote. (cut to Joshua tuning a guitar in the background) Well, looks like the show´s about to start. I´m gonna go get ready.
(Trevor goes to find a seat. Light applause, Joshua plays a sad, slow piano tune. Trevor sits in the audience)
Joshua Rainhorn: (sings affectedly) You´re standing there….your silhouette….your dressing gown….wine and cigarettes….wine and cigarettes…(stops music and goes into spoken word) Charlie Chaplin laughed. All the majors and politicians line up just to dance a waltz with you. (plays some bouncy piano notes) Do, do, do, do, dah, dah…
(Cut to Trevor speaking to the camera)
Trevor Dix: (intense) When Rainhorn plays, we´re no longer in New York. We´re on an island of Crete teaching boys how to dream. We´re in a garage watching our father cry. We´re an obese 15-year-old seeing ourselves naked for the first time.
Joshua Rainhorn: Wao, bam…(retakes the song, slow piano, sings affectedly) Wine and cigarettes….wine and cigarettes. She and the angels come out….who-o-o-o-o…. ho-o-o-o-oh.
Trevor Dix: (looks back from his chair) This has been Trevor Dix with Joshua Rainhorn. And this is another correspondence from the underground.
Caption: (c) 2008 Trevor Dix productions for Thames online.
Submtted by: Waldo San Miguel