SNL Transcripts: Josh Brolin: 10/18/08:


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 34: Episode 5

08e: Josh Brolin / Adele

Spokesman…..Jason Sudeikis
Woman…..Casey Wilson
Man with dog…..Bobby Moynihan
Stocky black man…..Kenan Thompson
Executive…..Fred Armisen

[ quick-cut footage of Wall Street localities ]

Spokesman V/O: Wall Street. The financial capitol of the world. It can be a pretty scary place these days.

[ cut to Spokesman standing in front of Wall Street ]

Spokesman: Especially when your portfolio’s in someone else’s hands! That’s why, at, we put the trading power in your hands.

[ quick-cut footage of various investors living the high-life: drinking lattes, catching cabs, etc. ]

Spokesman V/O: With your Readitrade account, you can manage your portfolio in your own way. so you can enjoy that latte, while you sell your stocks.

[ cut to man playing with his dog as he checks his investments online ]

Spokesman V/O: Or… spend time with an old friend. While you sell all your old stocks.

[ cut to stocky black man talking on the cell phone as he checks his investments online ]

Spokesman V/O: You can even warn friends to sell their stocks, while you sell every one of your stocks.

[ cut to Spokesman standing in front of Wall Street ]

Spokesman: With, you can do ANYTHING you WANT to do in today’s market!

[ options scroll up the screen ]

Spokesman V/O: Sell stocks. Sell bonds. Sell annuities. Sell your 401(k). Sell your spouse’s 401(k). Sell your parent’s house. Sell your aluminum siding. Sell things you took from church. Sell mutual fund shares. Sell drugs. Or change your password.

[ cut to stocky black man checking the web site from his home ]

Spokesman V/O: Plus, our easy-to-use web site makes trading a snap!

[ cut to Spokesman walking down Wall Street ]

Spokesman: So check us out at

[ an executive stumbles out of building carrying boxes, bumps into Spokesman and tumbles to the pavement ]

Spokesman V/O: Now featuring Readitrade mobile. Cell phone alerts that’ll let you know when the entire finally has finally collapsed.

[ executive checks his investments over his cell phone, then screams in horror ]

Executive: Whhhhhyyyyyyyyy????!!!!!

[ fade ]

SNL Transcripts

How useful was this post?

Click on a star to rate it!

Average rating 0 / 5. Vote count: 0

No votes so far! Be the first to rate this post.

Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. - LinkedIn

Notify of
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments