Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 34: Episode 8
[ open on married couple in their kitchen ]
Announcer: How do you know when the time is right?[ close-up of Wife getting that look on her face ]
Announcer: When an intimate moment becomes… the “right” moment?
Announcer: Take the guesswork out of your ED treatment…[ cue “Sproing” sound effect, as they glance at the camera ]
Wife: Ooh! I heard that![ cut to product slide ]
Announcer: …with Sproingo.
Announcer: Sproingo is the first ED treatment that works with your body to produce a sensous, audible tone at the onset of erection.[cue “Sproing” sound effect, as the couple stop dancing and look at one another ]
Wife: So you’re sure![ they go upstairs, the Husband staring down at the camera with a smirk ] [ they stop at the foot of their bed ]
Wife: How does it work? I don’t know. But does it work? [ “Sproing” sound effect ] Oh, yeah!
Announcer: Sproingo is only for men healthy enough for sexual activity.[ cue series of “Sproing” sound effects ]
Announcer: Don’t take Sproingo if you take nitrates for chest pain, or are easily startled by sudden, goofy sound effects.[ reveal couple sitting up in bed afterwards ]
Husband: I’ve tried them all: Cialis, Viagra, Levitra… but I can never tell when or if they were working.
Wife: Plus, Sproingo is the only medication that tells you when it’s stopped working.[ cue drooping sound effect ]
Husband: Time for another Sproingo![ Wife reacts with caution, then wipes her brow playfully ] [ cut to product slide ]
Husband: With Sproingo, hearing is believing.[ cut to Wife standing at the side of the bed ]
Wife: So what are you waiting for? Sproing your doctor today, and see if sproingo is right for you.[ cut to full shot of the couple, with a TV tray between them. The TV tray topples over as the “Sproing” sound effect rises. ]
Wife: [ she smiles ] That sounds like a good one!
Announcer: Sproingo. Hearing is believing.[ fade ]