SNL Transcripts: Paul Rudd: 11/15/08: Sproingo


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 34: Episode 8

08h: Paul Rudd / Beyonce


Wife…..Kristen Wiig
Husband…..Jason Sudeikis

[ open on married couple in their kitchen ]

Announcer: How do you know when the time is right?

[ close-up of Wife getting that look on her face ]

Announcer: When an intimate moment becomes… the “right” moment?

[ she approaches her husband and whispers in his ear ]

Announcer: Take the guesswork out of your ED treatment…

[ cue “Sproing” sound effect, as they glance at the camera ]

Wife: Ooh! I heard that!

[ cut to product slide ]

Announcer: …with Sproingo.

[ cut to images of the couple touching hands, then dancing around the kitchen ]

Announcer: Sproingo is the first ED treatment that works with your body to produce a sensous, audible tone at the onset of erection.

[cue “Sproing” sound effect, as the couple stop dancing and look at one another ]

Wife: So you’re sure!

[ they go upstairs, the Husband staring down at the camera with a smirk ] [ they stop at the foot of their bed ]

Wife: How does it work? I don’t know. But does it work? [ “Sproing” sound effect ] Oh, yeah!

[ SUPER scrolls as the couple disappear below view ]

Announcer: Sproingo is only for men healthy enough for sexual activity.

[ cue series of “Sproing” sound effects ]

Announcer: Don’t take Sproingo if you take nitrates for chest pain, or are easily startled by sudden, goofy sound effects.

[ reveal couple sitting up in bed afterwards ]

Husband: I’ve tried them all: Cialis, Viagra, Levitra… but I can never tell when or if they were working.

Wife: Plus, Sproingo is the only medication that tells you when it’s stopped working.

[ cue drooping sound effect ]

Husband: Time for another Sproingo!

[ Wife reacts with caution, then wipes her brow playfully ] [ cut to product slide ]

Announcer: Sproingo.

[ cut to Husband leaning back in bed ]

Husband: With Sproingo, hearing is believing.

[ cut to Wife standing at the side of the bed ]

Wife: So what are you waiting for? Sproing your doctor today, and see if sproingo is right for you.

[ cut to full shot of the couple, with a TV tray between them. The TV tray topples over as the “Sproing” sound effect rises. ]

Wife: [ she smiles ] That sounds like a good one!

[ cut to product slide with sound effect ]

Announcer: Sproingo. Hearing is believing.

[ fade ]

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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