SNL Transcripts: Paul Rudd: 11/15/08: Sproingo

 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 34: Episode 8

08h: Paul Rudd / Beyonce


Wife…..Kristen Wiig
Husband…..Jason Sudeikis

[ open on married couple in their kitchen ]

Announcer: How do you know when the time is right?

[ close-up of Wife getting that look on her face ]

Announcer: When an intimate moment becomes… the “right” moment?

[ she approaches her husband and whispers in his ear ]

Announcer: Take the guesswork out of your ED treatment…

[ cue “Sproing” sound effect, as they glance at the camera ]

Wife: Ooh! I heard that!

[ cut to product slide ]

Announcer: …with Sproingo.

[ cut to images of the couple touching hands, then dancing around the kitchen ]

Announcer: Sproingo is the first ED treatment that works with your body to produce a sensous, audible tone at the onset of erection.

[cue “Sproing” sound effect, as the couple stop dancing and look at one another ]

Wife: So you’re sure!

[ they go upstairs, the Husband staring down at the camera with a smirk ] [ they stop at the foot of their bed ]

Wife: How does it work? I don’t know. But does it work? [ “Sproing” sound effect ] Oh, yeah!

[ SUPER scrolls as the couple disappear below view ]

Announcer: Sproingo is only for men healthy enough for sexual activity.

[ cue series of “Sproing” sound effects ]

Announcer: Don’t take Sproingo if you take nitrates for chest pain, or are easily startled by sudden, goofy sound effects.

[ reveal couple sitting up in bed afterwards ]

Husband: I’ve tried them all: Cialis, Viagra, Levitra… but I can never tell when or if they were working.

Wife: Plus, Sproingo is the only medication that tells you when it’s stopped working.

[ cue drooping sound effect ]

Husband: Time for another Sproingo!

[ Wife reacts with caution, then wipes her brow playfully ] [ cut to product slide ]

Announcer: Sproingo.

[ cut to Husband leaning back in bed ]

Husband: With Sproingo, hearing is believing.

[ cut to Wife standing at the side of the bed ]

Wife: So what are you waiting for? Sproing your doctor today, and see if sproingo is right for you.

[ cut to full shot of the couple, with a TV tray between them. The TV tray topples over as the “Sproing” sound effect rises. ]

Wife: [ she smiles ] That sounds like a good one!

[ cut to product slide with sound effect ]

Announcer: Sproingo. Hearing is believing.

[ fade ]

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