SNL Transcripts: John Malkovich: 12/06/08: Cool Obama


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 34: Episode 10

08j: John Malkovich / T.I.

Cool Obama

Barack Obama…..Fred Armisen

[ open on series of cool fonts ] [ SUPER: “and now… Barack Obama” ] [ Barack Obama steps toward chair within dark setting ]

Barack Obama: Hello. I’m Barack Obama. [ he sits ] For the past few weeks, my transition team and I have been in Chicago laying the groundwork for my presidency. One thing has become clear: no matter the circumstances, I… amd gonna keep cool.

[ SUPER: “COOL” ] [ background breaks into shades of blue-colored squares ]

Barack Obama: Examples? Let’s take Hillary Clinton. You remember her? She ran against me in the Democratic primary, and told superdelegates I couldn’t win in a general election. Hey, she brought up William Ayres before anyone. Did I exact political revenge? [ pause for coolness ] Nope. I brought her in. Why? Because… I keep it cool.

[ SUPER: “COOL” ] [ cut to 5 boxy split-screen images, two of the boxes filled with poses of Obama ]

Barack Obama: [ scat ]“I take my kids to school
I don’t lose my… temper
It’s my only rule
I keep it cool!”

[ cut to split-level blue-toned background ]

Barack Obama: And what about… Joe Lieberman? There’s a character. Supported John McCain. Even spoke at the Republican convention. And what did I do with Joe Lieberman? Did I strip him of his chairmanship, make him a pariah in his own party? [ coolly ] Nooooo, sir. I said let’s keep Joe close. Why? Because if given a choice… I choose cool.

[ SUPER: “COOL” ] [ Barack Obama steps toward chair within two-toned purple background ]

Barack Obama: And, then… there’s John McCain. Mmm mmm mmm. It would have been easy to turn my back on John McCain. But I didn’t. I sat down with him, and we announced we were gonna work together to take on the critical challenges facing this nation. So, why did I do it? I think you know the answer to that. I keep it cool.

[ SUPER: “COOL” ] [ cut to 5 boxy split-screen images, two of the boxes filled with poses of Obama and one of just his shoes ]

Barack Obama: [ scat ]“I never played the fool
Don’t like pol-i-tics as u-su-al
I keep it cool!”

[ cut to close-up of Obama on black background ]

Barack Obama: When I accomplish a mission, there isn’t going to be a banner. I’m just gonna do this: [ he stares coolly at the camera and nods ] [ SUPER: “Barack Obama” ]

Announcer: This has been a message from President-Elect… Barack Obama ]

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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