Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 34: Episode 12
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Air Date:Host:Musical Guest:Special Guests:Cameos:Bit Players:
January 10th, 2009
Neil Patrick Harris
Taylor Swift
None
Liza Minnelli
None
The Rachel Maddow ShowSummary: Rachel Maddow (Abby Elliott) interviews disgraced former Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich (Jason Sudekis) and his Sente appointee, Roland Burris (Kenan Thompson).
Recurring Characters: Rod Blagojevich.
Transcript
Montage
Neil Patrick Harris’ MonologueSummary: Neil Patrick Harris makes a point-for-point criticism of former child star Fred Savage’s SNL hosting stint in 1990, and is then made the object of poorly-constructed jokes by a group of goofy audience members (Fred Armisen, Bill Hader, Bobby Moyhnihan) and Mark Wahlberg (Andy Samberg).
Recurring Characters: Mark Wahlberg.
Transcript
TodaySummary: The fourth and final hour of “Today” is a train wreck, as co-hosted by chatty Kathie Lee Gifford (Kristen Wiig) and an insufferable Hoda Kotb (Michaela Watkins). Tensions build when they welcom a fitness instructor (Neil Patrick Harris) to the set.
Recurring Characters: Kathie Lee Gifford.
Save BroadwaySummary: At Sardi’s, a group of Broadway performers struggle to find a way to keep the faltering economy from preventing the cancellation of their long-running stage shows.
Transcript
PenelopeSummary: Penelope (Kristen Wiig) one-ups the other members of a gropu therapy session by bragging of her close friendship with Liza Minnelli.
Recurring Characters: Penelope, Lou.
An SNL Digital ShortSummary: “Doogie Howser, M.D.” theme song.
Taylor Swift performs “Love Story”
Weekend Update with Seth MeyersSummary: Charles Barkley (Kenan Thompson) makes excuses for his latest traffic violation. Will Forte sings a song about the BCS.
Recurring Characters: Charles Barkley.
Two First NamesSummary: Neil Patrick Harris welcomes other famous celebrities with two first names, while shunning wanna-bes like Daniel-Day Lewis (Bill Hader).
Recurring Characters: David Lee Roth, Jamie Lee Curtis, Daniel-Day Lewis.
Fran & FrebaSummary: Long-nailed air traffic controllers Fran (Neil Patrick Harris) and Freba (Kristen Wiig) gab about co-worker Gil (Will Forte).
Frost/Other Peopleb>Summary: In a trailer for the “Frost/Noxin” sequel, David Frost (Neil Patrick Harris) ineptly interviews a slew of other 70’s-era celebrities with little to hide.
Recurring Characters: David Frost, Richard Nixon, David Bowie, David Crosby, Paul Lynde.
Transcript
Taylor Swift performs “Forever & Always”
Whopper VirginsSummary: Burger King execs (Neil Patrick Harris, Kristen Wiig) discover immigrants (Bobby Moyhnihan, Michaela Watkins, Fred Armisen) who not only have never eaten a Whopper but are also unable to comprehend its purpose.
Transcript
GoodnightsTranscript
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Dress Rehearsal Cuts
Lawyer’s Office
Question BoxSummary: Randy student (Andy Samberg) embarrasses his teacher (Neil Patrick Harris) by placing sexual questions in the class question box.