Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 34: Episode 14
08n: Steve Martin / Jason Mraz
MacGruber II
MacGruber…..Will Forte
Vicky…..Kristen Wiig
MacGyver… Richard Dean Anderson
[FADE IN on the ends of two electric wires as a spark jumps between them. CUT among various shots of pontoon planes, hands tinkering with materials, and exploding buildings.]
Singers:
“MacGruber!
Making life-saving inventions out of household materials!
MacGruber!
[CUT to MacGruber drinking a Pepsi can]
There’s only one cola he would pour into his mouth hole!
MacGruber!
Pepsi is that cola!”
[CUT to MacGruber holding a bunch of Pepsi cans against footage of flames.]
Singers: “MACGRUBER-RRR!!!!!”
[CUT to a supply ship. SUPERIMPOSE caption, “Illegal Supply Ship.” CUT to a sign marked “Supply Ship Control Room” as sirens wail.]
MacGyver: [struggling with locked door] MacGruber, this door is sealed shut!
Vicky: And from the looks of that C4 we’ve only got about… 15 seconds!!!
MacGruber: Okay, just take a chill, [opens a Pepsi can] crack a Pepsi, and refresh everything…
MacGyver: What does that even mean?
MacGruber: It’s Pepsi’s new motto, to me it means relax…
MacGyver: Are you sponsored by Pepsi or something?
MacGruber: Wha-a-at??? Maybe!! [Cut to MacGyver standing desperated on the door] but, who cares? I’m 100% my own man! By the way, my name illegally changed to PepSuber so you guys keep that in mind and addressing…
Vicky: Five seconds, MacGruber!
MacGruber: Vicky?
Vicky: Fine!… PepSuber!
MacGruber: Okay, I better get to work on this baby… after this [gives a sip to his Pepsi can]
[CUT to the supply ship exploding and spewing smoke everywhere.]
Singers: PEPSUBER-RRR!!!!!
Submitted by: Ramon
