SNL Transcripts: Steve Martin: 01/31/09: MacGruber II

 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 34: Episode 14

08n: Steve Martin / Jason Mraz

MacGruber II

MacGruber…..Will Forte
Vicky…..Kristen Wiig
MacGyver… Richard Dean Anderson

[FADE IN on the ends of two electric wires as a spark jumps between them. CUT among various shots of pontoon planes, hands tinkering with materials, and exploding buildings.]

Making life-saving inventions out of household materials!
[CUT to MacGruber drinking a Pepsi can]There’s only one cola he would pour into his mouth hole!
Pepsi is that cola!”

[CUT to MacGruber holding a bunch of Pepsi cans against footage of flames.]

Singers: “MACGRUBER-RRR!!!!!”

[CUT to a supply ship. SUPERIMPOSE caption, “Illegal Supply Ship.” CUT to a sign marked “Supply Ship Control Room” as sirens wail.]

MacGyver: [struggling with locked door] MacGruber, this door is sealed shut!

Vicky: And from the looks of that C4 we’ve only got about… 15 seconds!!!

MacGruber: Okay, just take a chill, [opens a Pepsi can] crack a Pepsi, and refresh everything…

MacGyver: What does that even mean?

MacGruber: It’s Pepsi’s new motto, to me it means relax…

MacGyver: Are you sponsored by Pepsi or something?

MacGruber: Wha-a-at??? Maybe!! [Cut to MacGyver standing desperated on the door] but, who cares? I’m 100% my own man! By the way, my name illegally changed to PepSuber so you guys keep that in mind and addressing…

Vicky: Five seconds, MacGruber!

MacGruber: Vicky?

Vicky: Fine!… PepSuber!

MacGruber: Okay, I better get to work on this baby… after this [gives a sip to his Pepsi can]

[CUT to the supply ship exploding and spewing smoke everywhere.]

Singers: PEPSUBER-RRR!!!!!

Submitted by: Ramon

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