SNL Transcripts: Steve Martin: 01/31/09: MacGruber III

 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 34: Episode 14

08n: Steve Martin / Jason Mraz

MacGruber III

MacGruber…..Will Forte
Vicky…..Kristen Wiig
MacGyver… Richard Dean Anderson

[FADE IN on the ends of two electric wires as a spark jumps between them. CUT among various shots of pontoon planes, hands tinkering with materials, and exploding buildings.]

Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi!
Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi!
Pepsi!, Pepsi!, Pepsi!”

[CUT to MacGruber holding Pepsi cans on both hands against footage of flames.]

Singers: “MACGRUBER-RRR!!!!!… PEPSI!”

[CUT to an Italian mafia hideout. SUPERIMPOSE caption, “Italian Mafia Hideout.” CUT to a sign marked “Mafia Hideout Control Room” as sirens wail.]

MacGyver: [struggling with locked door] MacGruber, this door is sealed shut!

Vicky: And we only have 15 seconds!!!

MacGruber: [Wearing a forehead band with the Pepsi globe and holding two Pepsi cans] Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi… Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi… [pointing to Vicky] Pepsi!, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi…

Vicky: I don’t understand what you’re saying!

MacGruber: Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi!…

MacGyver: You’re such a sell out!!

MacGruber: [pointing to MacGyver] Pepsi, Pepsi… Pepsi, Pepsi…

MacGyver: Would you stop saying “Pepsi”?!

MacGruber: [now holding two cans of Diet Pepsi] Diet Pep…

[CUT to the italian mafia hideout exploding and spewing smoke everywhere.]

Singers: MACGRUBER-RRR!!!!!

Submitted by: Ramon

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