SNL Transcripts: Steve Martin: 01/31/09: MacGruber III


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 34: Episode 14

08n: Steve Martin / Jason Mraz

MacGruber III

MacGruber…..Will Forte
Vicky…..Kristen Wiig
MacGyver… Richard Dean Anderson

[FADE IN on the ends of two electric wires as a spark jumps between them. CUT among various shots of pontoon planes, hands tinkering with materials, and exploding buildings.]

Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi!
Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi!
Pepsi!, Pepsi!, Pepsi!”

[CUT to MacGruber holding Pepsi cans on both hands against footage of flames.]

Singers: “MACGRUBER-RRR!!!!!… PEPSI!”

[CUT to an Italian mafia hideout. SUPERIMPOSE caption, “Italian Mafia Hideout.” CUT to a sign marked “Mafia Hideout Control Room” as sirens wail.]

MacGyver: [struggling with locked door] MacGruber, this door is sealed shut!

Vicky: And we only have 15 seconds!!!

MacGruber: [Wearing a forehead band with the Pepsi globe and holding two Pepsi cans] Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi… Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi… [pointing to Vicky] Pepsi!, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi…

Vicky: I don’t understand what you’re saying!

MacGruber: Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi!…

MacGyver: You’re such a sell out!!

MacGruber: [pointing to MacGyver] Pepsi, Pepsi… Pepsi, Pepsi…

MacGyver: Would you stop saying “Pepsi”?!

MacGruber: [now holding two cans of Diet Pepsi] Diet Pep…

[CUT to the italian mafia hideout exploding and spewing smoke everywhere.]

Singers: MACGRUBER-RRR!!!!!

Submitted by: Ramon

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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