SNL Transcripts: Tracy Morgan: 03/14/09: Family Flix


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 34: Episode 18

08r: Tracy Morgan / Kelly Clarkson

Family Flix

Host…..Kristen Wiig
Percy T. Douglas…..Tracy Morgan
Actor 1…..Andy Samberg
Actor 2…..Bobby Moynihan
Milkman…..Will Forte

[ open on talk show set ]

Host: Hello, welcome to “Family Flix”. I’m here with Percy T. Douglas, writer and director of “Rocket Dog”. A movie that sounds “Dog-gone” terrific!

Percy T. Douglas: [ he laughs uproariously for a few moments, then turns serious ] I like the kind of humor.

Host: Um — Percy, your movie tells the story of a young boy from a troubled home whose life changes when he and his dog find a jet pack in the attic.

Percy T. Douglas: It’s a movie for any kid who was ever told: “You’re not gonna find a jet pack!”

Host: Well, you brought a clip for us. Let’s take a look.

[ dissolve to clip: back yard scene ]

Actor 1: My stepdad said it was stupid for me to have dreams. But we showed him! We showed EVERYONE! You’re more than just a dog — you’re Rocket Dog!

[ sound effect: dog barking ] [ music sweep, as Boy turns rocket on ]

Actor 1: Now, reach for the stars, girl! 3! 2! 1! Dogs away!

[ sound effect: rocket blasts off ] [ cut to sky shot, rocket blasting through the air as “THE END” appears on screen ] [ dissolve to image of the dog with SUPER: “In Memoriam” as Tom Cochran’s “Life is a Highway” plays ] [ dissolve back to the talk shot set, Douglas cracking up laughing ]

Percy T. Douglas: Houston, we have a dog!!

Host: [ speechless ] O-okay. Uhhh — couple things. Uh, you chose to play a clip that was the ending of the movie…

Percy T. Douglas: [ pleased ] Yeah!

Host: Okay, I just wanted to make sure you knew that. Um — also, I noticed that the dog who played Rocket Dog passed away.

Percy T. Douglas: Y-yeah… y-you know, that was very sad. On a movie set, you become like a family. Then one day, you have to strap a rocket onto a member of your family, and set that thing on fire!

Host: [ speechless ] All right. Uhhh — well, here is another clip from “Rocket Dog”.

[ dissolve to clip: train passing along the tracks ] [ dissolve to back yard scene ]

Actor 1: If we’re gonna make it to the rocket contest on time, w’ere gonna have to jump onto that moving train!

[ sound effect: dog barking ]

Actor 1: Yeah. I know it’s dangerous to fly full speed at a train. But if we believe in ourself, anything’s possible!

[ music sweep ]

Actor 1: Trains away!

[ they run off screen ] [ dissolve to image of three different dogs, a cat, and the Actor with SUPER: “In Memoriam” as Tom Cochran’s “Life is a Highway” plays ] [ dissolve back to the talk shot set, Douglas cracking up laughing ]

Percy T. Douglas: Houston, we have a dog!!

Host: [ stunned ] So… you put a second memoriam montage, in the middle of your movie?

Percy T. Douglas: Yeah! We put it there to honor all the Rocket Dogs it took to make that shot!

Host: How many dogs in total?

Percy T. Douglas: Pass! But I just want to say: those dogs had GREAT lives! They got to go to a movie set, watch these other dogs go first, get shot into a train…

Host: Okay. Um — where did you film this movie?

Percy T. Douglas: Thailand. I wanted a place that was heavy on dogs, and light on laws.

Host: I also noticed your main actor died.

Percy T. Douglas: Yes! [no further explanation ]

Host: Okay, um — would you like to set up your next clip?

Percy T. Douglas: Yes! This is a scene from “Rocket Dog”!

Host: Wow.

[ dissolve to clip: back yard scene with new actor ] [ sound effect: dog barking ]

Actor 2: I’m telling you, girl — one of these days, we’re gonna find a way to just FLY away from here!

[ Milkman passes ]

Milkman: [ hands over a bottle of milk ] Here’s your milk.

Actor 2: Thanks. [ to Rocket Dog ] Hey, girl, know what? You’re my best friend!

[ dissolve to image of Milkman, second Actor, seven dogs, a man dressed in a dog costume, and Douglas with SUPER: “In Memoriam” as Tom Cochran’s “Life is a Highway” plays ] [ dissolve back to the talk shot set ]

Host: [ speechless ] Sooo… everyone in that scene died?

Percy T. Douglas: Correct.

Host: I-I-I also couldn’t help but notice that you were listed as dead at the end of that clip.

Percy T. Douglas: Uh, yes. I had to fake my death in order to flee the country. I was under the flase impression that you could do anything you wanted in Thailand — you know, like the Chinese Atlantic City?

Host: [ stunned ] Your film is… thirty-eight minutes long? Uh, ten minutes of that is a close-up of a TV showing the movie “Braveheart”.

Percy T. Douglas: [ a beat ] Houston, we have a dog!!

Host: Okay, thank you, Percy, um — join us next week, when we’ll be talking to… [ reads her card and sighs ] Percy T. Douglas.

Percy T. Douglas: [ throws his arms up ] Yes!!

Host: Uh — about his new movie, “Scuba Pig”. Good night.

[ fade ]

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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