Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 34: Episode 20
Zac Efron’s Monologue
Fan #1…..Kristen Wiig
Fan #2…..Abby Elliott
Male Fan…..Fred Armisen
Announcer: Ladies’ and gentlemen — Zac Efron!
Zac Efron: Thank you….thank you guys… Man! It’s great to be here…for those of you who don’t know me, my name is Zac Efron… For those of you who do know me…thanks for staying up so late! Tonight is very important to me because I get to reach out to an whole new audience. But first…if you don’t mind, I’d like to say something to the fans who brought me here:
Hey tweens! Zac Efron here. I’d just wanted to take a moment in the show to say hi to you guys..and bye guys…I mean girls…because let’s face it tweens, I owe you big time…
If it weren’t for you, I’d just be some random college student, instead of a college-aged man pretending to be a high school student…plus…I wanna thank you for the finalcial support. True! Your parents gave me that money, but you gave me something even more valuable….your attention!
And if someone can keep a tweens attention for more than five minutes, parents will pay that person all of their ?? (the laugh hides Zac’s voice). So thank you!
Fan #1: No! Thank you Zac Efron!
Zac Efron: Why you guys are really excited uh?
Male Fan: Hi!
Zac Efron: Hello sir! Are you their father?
Male Fan: No!
Zac Efron: Ok…well…
Fan #1: Ccc..can we take a picture?
Zac Efron: Yeah! Sure guys…come on up here.. This is nice. I guess..not all of my fans are tweens
Male Fan: Yeah..I’m a tweefty
Zac Efron: What’s a tweefty?
Male Fan: Tween forty and fifty…ok ready..one…two…three
Fan #2: Zac..zac…do you are there late for the after-party?
Zac Efron: Oh yes, yes I do
Fan #1: Is there your girlfriend?
Zac Efron: Let’s just say it’s a girl
Male Fan: Yuk!
Zac Efron: We’ve got a great show for you tonight. The Yeah yeah yeah’s here…stick around everybody, we will be right back!
Submitted by: Jordan Anderson