Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 34: Episode 21
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Air Date:Host:Musical Guest:Special Guests:Cameos:Bit Players:
May 9th, 2009
Justin Timberlake
Ciara
None
Lorne Michaels
Patricia Clarkson
Susan Sarandon
Jessica Biel
Chris Pine
Zachary Quinto
Leonard Nimoy
Jimmy Fallon
None
A Special Address from the Secretary of the TreasurySummary: Timothy Geithner (Will Forte) outlines the results of a 50-question bank stress test.
Recurring Characters: Timothy Geithner.
Transcript
Montage
Justin Timberlake’s MonologueSummary: Justin Timberlake performs a song-and-dance routine amongst cast members and show personnel backstage.
First Hosted: 03b.
Transcript
Mom Celebrity TranslatorSummary: A handheld electronic device that allows young’uns to decipher what well-known celebrity their unhip mothers are trying to describe to them.
Transcript
Target GreatlandSummary: The Target Lady (Kristen Wiig) annoys customers while chatting with her equally-annoying friend Peg (Justin Timberlake).
Recurring Characters: Target Lady.
Transcript
ImmigrantsSummary: A group of Irish immigrants entering America dream of the opportunities their great-great grandchildren will have, except for Cornelius Timberlake (Justin Timberlake) who fancies that his great-great grandson will one day be a popular, self-satisfying, arrogant little prick.
Transcript
An SNL Digital ShortRecurring Characters: “Dick in a Box” bad boys (Andy Samberg, Justin Timberlake) give up their boxes so they can become “Mother (Patricia Clarkson, Susan Sarandon) Lovers”.
Transcript
PlasticvilleSummary: A guy dressed as a barbell (Will Forte) faces competition from Plasticville’s boob mascot (Justin Timberlake).
Recurring Characters: Mascot.
Transcript
Ciara with Justin Timberlake performs “Love Sex Magic”Lyrics
Weekend Update with Seth MeyersSummary: Elliot Spitzer (Bill Hader) and David Paterson (Fred Armisen). Chris Pine and Zachary Quinto promote the new “Star Trek” movie, with a nod from Leonard Nimoy.
Recurring Characters: Elliot Spitzer, David Paterson.
Transcript
The Barry Gibb Talk ShowSummary: Robin Gibb (Justin Timberlake) remains mum while Barry Gibb (Jimmy Fallon) issues insane threats to his political guests, just like last time.
Recurring Characters: Barry Gibb, Robin Gibb, Nancy Pelosi.
Transcript
PiratesSummary:
Ciara performs “Never Ever”
Goodnights
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