Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 34: Episode 21
08u: Justin Timberlake / Ciara
Mom Celebrity Translator
Mom #1…..Michaela Watkins
Ben…..Bobby Moynihan
Spokesman…..Jason Sudeikis
Mom #2…..Casey Wilson
Son #2…..Bill Hader
[ open on Mom sitting on sofa, as Ben enters ]
Ben: Hey Mom.
Mom #1: Hey Ben. Guess who got arrested?
Ben: Who?
Mom #1: Kevin Summerland.
Ben: Who??
Mom #1: You know, Calvin Sonogram…
Ben: Oh, you mean Kiefer Sutherland?
Mom #1: Yes, thats it.
[ cut to Spokesman ]
Spokesman: Moms. They love us and they take care of us, but one thing they cant do is remember celebrities names. Now, you dont have to waste hours a day trying to decipher which celebrity your mother is referring to with the new Mom Celebrity Translator. Simply enter the name as pronounced by your mother.
[ cut to Mom #2 and her son in his bedroom ]
Mom #2: Kite Carbinaw.
Spokesman V/O: Then enter whatever vague information your mother knows about this person.
Mom #2: Shes on TV, and shes crazy.
Spokesman V/O: And seconds later, youll have the translation.
Son #2: Ohhhhh! Kim Kardashian! Yeah, shes crazy.
[ cut to Mom #3 and Daughter in the kitchen ]
Mom #3: Honey, who do you think is cuter: Rabbi Renaldo or Champ Crawdaddy?
Daughter: [ typing this information ] Oh, you mean Ryan Reynolds or Chase Crawford. Yeah neither, I like Jake Gyllenhaal.
Mom #3: Who?
Spokesman V/O: It even works backwards.
Daughter: [ typing ] Sorry, Joe Geronimo.
Mom #3: I love Joe Geronimo. He was so good in Breakdance Fountain.
Spokesman: And the Mom Celebrity Translator even comes with audio playback so moms can hear the right pronunciation.
[ return to Mom #1 and Ben ]
Mom #1: Keith Ragu.
Translator: Ke-a-nu Reeves.
Ben: Ohhhhhh!
Mom #1: Thats what I said.
Spokesman: The Mom Celebrity Translator, look for it wherever mom products are sold. So…Ann Taylor.
Submitted by: Jacques
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Zune and iPod: Most people compare the Zune to the Touch, but after seeing how slim and surprisingly small and light it is, I consider it to be a rather unique hybrid that combines qualities of both the Touch and the Nano. It’s very colorful and lovely OLED screen is slightly smaller than the touch screen, but the player itself feels quite a bit smaller and lighter. It weighs about 2/3 as much, and is noticeably smaller in width and height, while being just a hair thicker.
Between me and my husband we’ve owned more MP3 players over the years than I can count, including Sansas, iRivers, iPods (classic & touch), the Ibiza Rhapsody, etc. But, the last few years I’ve settled down to one line of players. Why? Because I was happy to discover how well-designed and fun to use the underappreciated (and widely mocked) Zunes are.
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