SNL Transcripts: Justin Timberlake: 05/09/09: Mom Celebrity Translator


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 34: Episode 21

08u: Justin Timberlake / Ciara

Mom Celebrity Translator

Mom #1…..Michaela Watkins
Ben…..Bobby Moynihan
Spokesman…..Jason Sudeikis
Mom #2…..Casey Wilson
Son #2…..Bill Hader

[ open on Mom sitting on sofa, as Ben enters ]

Ben: Hey Mom.

Mom #1: Hey Ben. Guess who got arrested?

Ben: Who?

Mom #1: Kevin Summerland.

Ben: Who??

Mom #1: You know, Calvin Sonogram…

Ben: Oh, you mean Kiefer Sutherland?

Mom #1: Yes, that’s it.

[ cut to Spokesman ]

Spokesman: Moms. They love us and they take care of us, but one thing they can’t do is remember celebrities’ names. Now, you don’t have to waste hours a day trying to decipher which celebrity your mother is referring to with the new Mom Celebrity Translator. Simply enter the name as pronounced by your mother.

[ cut to Mom #2 and her son in his bedroom ]

Mom #2: Kite Carbinaw.

Spokesman V/O: Then enter whatever vague information your mother knows about this person.

Mom #2: She’s on TV, and she’s crazy.

Spokesman V/O: And seconds later, you’ll have the translation.

Son #2: Ohhhhh! Kim Kardashian! Yeah, she’s crazy.

[ cut to Mom #3 and Daughter in the kitchen ]

Mom #3: Honey, who do you think is cuter: Rabbi Renaldo or Champ Crawdaddy?

Daughter: [ typing this information ] Oh, you mean Ryan Reynolds or Chase Crawford. Yeah neither, I like Jake Gyllenhaal.

Mom #3: Who?

Spokesman V/O: It even works backwards.

Daughter: [ typing ] Sorry, Joe Geronimo.

Mom #3: I love Joe Geronimo. He was so good in “Breakdance Fountain”.

Spokesman: And the Mom Celebrity Translator even comes with audio playback so moms can hear the right pronunciation.

[ return to Mom #1 and Ben ]

Mom #1: Keith Ragu.

Translator: Ke-a-nu Reeves.

Ben: Ohhhhhh!

Mom #1: That’s what I said.

Spokesman: The Mom Celebrity Translator, look for it wherever mom products are sold. So…Ann Taylor.

Submitted by: Jacques

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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