Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 34: Episode 21
Mom Celebrity Translator
Mom #1…..Michaela Watkins
Mom #2…..Casey Wilson
Son #2…..Bill Hader
[ open on Mom sitting on sofa, as Ben enters ]
Ben: Hey Mom.
Mom #1: Hey Ben. Guess who got arrested?
Mom #1: Kevin Summerland.
Mom #1: You know, Calvin Sonogram…
Ben: Oh, you mean Kiefer Sutherland?
Mom #1: Yes, thats it.
[ cut to Spokesman ]
Spokesman: Moms. They love us and they take care of us, but one thing they cant do is remember celebrities names. Now, you dont have to waste hours a day trying to decipher which celebrity your mother is referring to with the new Mom Celebrity Translator. Simply enter the name as pronounced by your mother.
[ cut to Mom #2 and her son in his bedroom ]
Mom #2: Kite Carbinaw.
Spokesman V/O: Then enter whatever vague information your mother knows about this person.
Mom #2: Shes on TV, and shes crazy.
Spokesman V/O: And seconds later, youll have the translation.
Son #2: Ohhhhh! Kim Kardashian! Yeah, shes crazy.
[ cut to Mom #3 and Daughter in the kitchen ]
Mom #3: Honey, who do you think is cuter: Rabbi Renaldo or Champ Crawdaddy?
Daughter: [ typing this information ] Oh, you mean Ryan Reynolds or Chase Crawford. Yeah neither, I like Jake Gyllenhaal.
Mom #3: Who?
Spokesman V/O: It even works backwards.
Daughter: [ typing ] Sorry, Joe Geronimo.
Mom #3: I love Joe Geronimo. He was so good in Breakdance Fountain.
Spokesman: And the Mom Celebrity Translator even comes with audio playback so moms can hear the right pronunciation.
[ return to Mom #1 and Ben ]
Mom #1: Keith Ragu.
Translator: Ke-a-nu Reeves.
Mom #1: Thats what I said.
Spokesman: The Mom Celebrity Translator, look for it wherever mom products are sold. So…Ann Taylor.
Submitted by: Jacques