SNL Transcripts: Justin Timberlake: 05/09/09: An SNL Digital Short



 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 34: Episode 21







08u: Justin Timberlake / Ciara

An SNL Digital Short

…..Andy Samberg
…..Justin Timberlake
…..Patricia Clarkson
…..Susan Sarandon

[ SUPER: “5 MONTHS LATER” ] [ the “Dick in a Box” singers exit the Brooklyn Detention Center carrying their boxes, which they toss into a trash can ] [ they begin to sing ]

Andy: Oh, dang.

Justin: What is it, dawg?

Andy: I forgot it’s Mother’s Day

Justin: Didn’t get a gift for her

Andy:
Other plans got in the way
She’ll be so disappointed

Justin: Damn, I forgot it too

Andy: This could have been avoided

Both: What the hell are we gonna do?

Justin:
My mom’s been so forlorn
Ever since my daddy left

Andy: Cold

Justin:
No one to hold her tight
Life has put her to the test

Andy:
I know just what you mean
My mom’s been so sad and gray

Justin: Word

Andy: My dad can’t satisfy her in the bedroom ever since he passed away

Both: Hold up

Andy: You thinkin’ what I’m thinkin’?

Justin: I’m thinkin’ I’m thinkin’ too

Both: Slow up

Andy: What time is it, dawg?

Justin: It’s time for a switcheroo

Both:
We both love our moms, women with grown-women needs
I say we break ‘em off
Show ‘em how much they really mean
‘Cause I’m a motherlover
You’re a motherlover
We should f— each other’s mothers

Justin:
F— each other’s moms
You’ve seen that place that you came out as a baby
Ain’t no doubt that sh– is crazy
F— each other’s moms

Both:
‘Cause every Mother’s Day needs a mother’s night
If doing it is wrong, I don’t wanna be right
I’m callin’ on you, ’cause I can’t do it myself
To me you’re like a brother, so be my motherlover

Andy:
I’m layin’ in the cut, waitin’ for your mom
Clutchin’ on this lube and roses

Justin:
I got my digital camera
I’m gonna make your mama do a million poses

Andy: They will be so surprised

Justin: We are so cool and thoughtful

Andy: Can’t wait to pork your mom

Justin: I’m gonna be the syrup, she can be my waffle

Both: Sho ’nuff

Justin: My mother loves bubble bath with chamomile

Both: Straight up

Andy: Give it to my mom d-d-d-d-d-d-d—y-style

Both:
This the perfect plan
For a perfect Mother’s Day
They’ll have to rename this one
All Up Under the Covers Day
‘Cause I’m a motherlover
You’re a motherlover
We should f— each other’s mothers
Justin: F— each other’s moms
I’ll push in that place
Where you came out as a baby
Ain’t no doubt that sh– is crazy
F— each other’s moms

Andy:
Break it down
It would be my honor to be your new stepfather

Justin: It would be my honor to be your new stepfather

Andy:
I’ll let you do my mother
Make me another brother
And I’m gonna do your mother
I’ll never use a rubber

Justin:
Oh!
‘Cause every Mother’s Day needs a mother’s night
If doing it is wrong, I don’t wanna be right
I’m callin’ on you, ’cause I can’t do it myself
To me you’re like a brother, so be my motherlover
They blessed us both with the gift of life
She brought you in this world, so I’mma sex her right
This is the second-best idea that we’ve ever had
The choice can be no other
Be my motherlover.

Submitted by: Jordan Anderson

SNL Transcripts

Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. - LinkedIn

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