SNL Transcripts: Ryan Reynolds: 10/03/09: Ryan Reynolds’ Monologue

 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 35: Episode 2

09b: Ryan Reynolds / Lady Gaga

Ryan Reynolds’ Monologue

…..Ryan Reynolds

Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen — Ryan Reynolds!

Ryan Reynolds: Wow! Thank you! Thank you very much! Oh, my God… I am hosting “SNL”. Wow! [ the audience cheers ] All right! It was a crazy, busy summer for me. I was very, very lucky. I was lucky enough to be in two different movies: “Wolverine” and “The Proposal”. One of these — [ light applause from a few members of the audience ] Thank you very much. [ he continues ] One of these is a superhero movie, and the other is a romantic comedy about Wolverine. Now, the transition from a romantic comedy to a superhero movie is a very, very delicate thing. They have similar elements, but with very different styles.

In both, the main character has a complicated past. In a superhero movie, he’s a scientifically-engineered killing machine from a distant planet. In the romantic comedy, he’s from Cleveland.

They both have villains. In a superhero movie, it’s an evil genius with mutant powers or a freak deformity. In a romantic comedy, it’s Jeremy Piven.

What else? Uh — in a romantic comedy, there’s always a guy who dresses flamboyantly; it’s the gay best friend. In a superhero movie, that will be me.

And it’s amazing, because sometimes the dialogue is virtually identical in both. There’s a subtle difference in tone. Like, if you take the line: “Stay with me.” All right? In one movie, it’s: [ whispery ] “Stay with me.” And, in the other, it’s: [ with teeth clenched ] “STAY WITH ME!!” Now, you don’t want to mix those up, or you will scare the CRAP out of Sandra Bullock.

And, in both movies, there’s a climactic moment in the porung rain, when the hero realizes just exactly what he has to do. Here’s the superhero version:

[ the stage darkens, as a generic guitar riff plays and a silhoette of pouring rain falls upon Reynolds’ face. He grins knowingly and holds up his fist. ]

And… here is the romantic comedy version:

[ same stage lighting and effects as before, but this time Sophie B. Hawkins’ “Damn! I Wish I Was Your Lover” plays in the background ]

Now — were you able to spot the difference? It was the music.

Of course, right now I’m focused on being a superhero because I’m about to start working on the new “Green Lantern” movie, which I’m really excited for. And I think it’s going to be a huge hit because, if there’s one thing that kids love, it’s lanterns. [ the audience laughs ] We, uh — [ he points into the audience ] That guy knows what I’m talking about! We start filming really soon, so look for that in spring 2053.

We got a GREAT show! Lady Gaga is here! Stick around, we’ll be right back!

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