SNL Transcripts: Ryan Reynolds: 10/03/09: Ryan Reynolds’ Monologue


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 35: Episode 2

09b: Ryan Reynolds / Lady Gaga

Ryan Reynolds’ Monologue

…..Ryan Reynolds

Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen — Ryan Reynolds!

Ryan Reynolds: Wow! Thank you! Thank you very much! Oh, my God… I am hosting “SNL”. Wow! [ the audience cheers ] All right! It was a crazy, busy summer for me. I was very, very lucky. I was lucky enough to be in two different movies: “Wolverine” and “The Proposal”. One of these — [ light applause from a few members of the audience ] Thank you very much. [ he continues ] One of these is a superhero movie, and the other is a romantic comedy about Wolverine. Now, the transition from a romantic comedy to a superhero movie is a very, very delicate thing. They have similar elements, but with very different styles.

In both, the main character has a complicated past. In a superhero movie, he’s a scientifically-engineered killing machine from a distant planet. In the romantic comedy, he’s from Cleveland.

They both have villains. In a superhero movie, it’s an evil genius with mutant powers or a freak deformity. In a romantic comedy, it’s Jeremy Piven.

What else? Uh — in a romantic comedy, there’s always a guy who dresses flamboyantly; it’s the gay best friend. In a superhero movie, that will be me.

And it’s amazing, because sometimes the dialogue is virtually identical in both. There’s a subtle difference in tone. Like, if you take the line: “Stay with me.” All right? In one movie, it’s: [ whispery ] “Stay with me.” And, in the other, it’s: [ with teeth clenched ] “STAY WITH ME!!” Now, you don’t want to mix those up, or you will scare the CRAP out of Sandra Bullock.

And, in both movies, there’s a climactic moment in the porung rain, when the hero realizes just exactly what he has to do. Here’s the superhero version:

[ the stage darkens, as a generic guitar riff plays and a silhoette of pouring rain falls upon Reynolds’ face. He grins knowingly and holds up his fist. ]

And… here is the romantic comedy version:

[ same stage lighting and effects as before, but this time Sophie B. Hawkins’ “Damn! I Wish I Was Your Lover” plays in the background ]

Now — were you able to spot the difference? It was the music.

Of course, right now I’m focused on being a superhero because I’m about to start working on the new “Green Lantern” movie, which I’m really excited for. And I think it’s going to be a huge hit because, if there’s one thing that kids love, it’s lanterns. [ the audience laughs ] We, uh — [ he points into the audience ] That guy knows what I’m talking about! We start filming really soon, so look for that in spring 2053.

We got a GREAT show! Lady Gaga is here! Stick around, we’ll be right back!

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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