SNL Transcripts: Drew Barrymore: 10/10/09


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 35: Episode 3

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Air Date:


Musical Guest:

Special Guests:


Bit Players:

October 10th, 2009

Drew Barrymore

Regina Spektor


Justin Long

John Lutz

A Message From the President of the United StatesSummary: President Barack Obama (Fred Armisen) gloats about winning this year’s Nobel Peace Prize.

Recurring Characters: President Barack Obama.



Drew Barrymore’s MonologueSummary: After breaking the record for most times a woman has hosted the show, Drew Barrymore presents vintage clips of her prestigious acting family in action.


GillySummary: Gilly (Kristen Wiig) and foreign exchange student Gigli (Drew Barrymore) wreak multicultural havoc in the classroom.

Recurring Characters: Gilly, Mr. Dillon, Sam Jeffers, Liam.


Celebrity Ghost StoriesSummary: Various lowball celebrities recall ghost sightings.

Recurring Characters: Billy Bob Thornton, Sharon Osbourne.

University of WestfieldSummary: Academically-challenged and/or lazy people can now acquire a degree from a prestigious university, as long as they don’t tell anyone about it.


La Rivista Della Televisione con Vinny VedecciSummary: Vinny Vedecci (Bill Hader) interviews Drew Barrymore about her directorial debut.

Recurring Characters: Vinny Vedecci, crew members, Vinny’s son.


Regina Spektor performs “Eet”

Weekend Update with Seth MeyersSummary: James Carville (Bill Hader) comments on Republican opposition to President Obama’s Nobel Peace Prize win. Scrooge McDuck (Andy Samberg) comments on the rising value of gold. Maya Angelou (Kenan Thompson) recites poetry to counter death rumors.

Recurring Characters: James Carville, Maya Angelou.

Tampax to the Max Tournament of Champions 1991Summary: Commentators Pete Twinkle (Jason Sudeikis) and Greg Stink (Will Forte) keep the tampon sponsorship flowing in lieu of focusing on billiards match between Greta Milwaukee (Kristen Wiig) and Nina Wilkes Booth (Drew Barrymore).

Cooking Al FrescoSummary: Rooftop cooking by co-hosts Fran Jones (Drew Barrymore) and Phil O’Brien (Andy Samberg) is interrupted by a flock of bread-hungry birds.

Recurring Characters: Guy Fieri.


Larry King LiveSummary: Larry King (Fred Armisen) discusses celebrity weiner dos and donts with a panel of experts.

Recurring Characters: Larry King.

An SNL Digital ShortSummary: Brenda (Drew Barrymore) and Shaun (Drew Barrymore) will provide entertainment any time at any place.


Regina Spektor performs “The Calculation”

Debbie Turner Book SigningSummary: At a book signing, Debbie Turner (Drew Barrymore) reads her book based on a troubled romantic relationship with the manipulative Hamilton (Will Forte), who then shows up begging her to come back to him.

Summary: Hamilton.



Dress Rehearsal Cuts

Polanski PetitionSummary: Filmmakers try to decide what to do about Roman Polanski.

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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