SNL Transcripts: Drew Barrymore: 10/10/09: La Revista della Televisione con Vinny Vedecci


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 35: Episode 2

09c: Drew Barrymore / Regina Spektor

La Revista della Televisione con Vinny Vedecci

Vinny Vedecci….Bill Hader
….Drew Barrymore
Show’s director….Fred Armisen
Assistant….Will Forte
Vinny’s Son….Bobby Moynihan

Caption: RAI

Announcer: [speaks Italian] …La Rivista della Televisione e con Vinny Vedecci.

[Cut to montage of American celebrities Don Johnson, Alf, Brian Austin Green intercut with Vinny in his white suit handsomely posing, throwing his jacket over his shoulder, in a heated debate and finally posing with a lit cigarette and winks at the camera]

Vinny Vedecci V/O: Ragazze, regazze a tempo de ver La Rivista della Televisione con mio Vinny Vedecci!!

[Vinny is sitting at a table smoking and having a great time. An ashtray is in front of him overflowing with smoking cigarettes.]

Vinny Vedecci: Bisiando, bisiando, bisiando! On doro Vinny Vedecci, o serebando, la noche del mundo. Eh, caseando eto italiano “50 First Dates”, “Music and Lyrics”, “Driving in the car with the boys” Prego andeago, Drew Barrymore! Drew Barrymore! [Actress/director Drew Barrymore walks in, sits down] Buona sera, Drew Barrymore!. No sera cara faciole, tu sero cara cinema americano—

Drew Barrymore: One second. I don’t mean to interrupt you but I don’t speak Italian. I’m sorry.

Vinny Vedecci: [angry Vinny turns to his director who is smoking and eating pasta, his assistant eats his pasta too like nothing is happening] Carabando! Sarabando! Carevireati!

Show’s director: Ah que diche dera bouca hecha dia! Vincenzo, tropo per favore! Eh?!

Vinny Vedecci:[to Drew] Sorry.

Drew Barrymore: No, I mean, I’m the one who’s embarrassed. I’m sure this has never happened before.

[Vinny looks at the camera for a second, the director and assistant also look]

Vinny Vedecci: Yes. First time. So, when you were seven years old you starred in the classic movie, Et?

Drew Barrymore: What? What movie?

Vinny Vedecci: Et? Et, phone home?

Drew Barrymore: Oh, ok. Actually it’s “E.T”.

Vinny Vedecci: Oh, it’s “E.T.”?

Drew Barrymore: Yes.

[More angry arguing in Italian with the show’s director]

Show’s director: Scusi’, Et, “E.T”, Et, “E.T.” Dichi cinema!

Vinny Vedecci: Eh! Detovito! Et? Duh?! So, you been in showbiz a long time, eh?

Drew Barrymore: My whole life.

Vinny Vedecci: And after “E.T” you do drinking and drugs!

Drew Barrymore: Yes, I did. And I did other things too, and it was a rough time when I was younger—

Vinny Vedecci: My son also likes to drink. Where is my bambino? Bambino!

[Vinny’s son comes out with his sailor suit on drinking wine straight from the bottle]

Vinny’s son: Oh, papa! Papa! [kisses Vinny on the head, drinks]

Drew Barrymore: You know what? I have to say, I’m a little worried. Your son might be too young to drink.

[Vinny’s son gets angry at Drew]

Vinny’s son
Vinny Vedecci: Oh! [blows kisses to his son] My little boy. Speaking of your breasts….you showed them once to David Letterman. Yes?

Drew Barrymore: Yes.

Vinny Vedecci: On a talk show…..with a desk?

Drew Barrymore: Yes.

[Vinny clears the table]

Vinny Vedecci:[sleaze oozing] This is a talk show, this is a desk.

Drew Barrymore: Maybe later.

Vinny Vedecci: Eeeeeh. I hear David Letterman apologized because he had affairs with some staff members. So, I want to make apology to the women on my staff who I slept with over the years. In the interest of time, I apologize to this women.

[87 Italian women’s names run up the screen fast]

Drew Barrymore: Wow. You had sex with all those women?

Vinny Vedecci: Si.

Drew Barrymore: And you’re married?

Vinny Vedecci: Si, si. I want to especially apologize to my dear wife and mother of my child. [Vinny shows a wedding photo with his fat Italian wife, Vinny looks miserable on the photo] Here she is. [Vinny looks disgusted by the photo and puts it away] So, eh, eh, what do you want to talk about?

Drew Barrymore: Well, I just directed a movie.

Vinny Vedecci: You directed a movie?

Drew Barrymore: I did. It was so empowering as a woman and it meant a lot to me to make a family-themed movie about strong women.

Vinny Vedecci: We have a great female director in Italy. Very respected. Georgina Desperote!

Drew Barrymore: Oh, I didn’t know her work.

Vinny Vedecci: Oh, we have a picture of her. A picture.[close-up on big breasts] Yeah, she’s very good. Very good. What is your movie called?

Drew Barrymore: It’s called “Whip It”.

Vinny Vedecci: “Whip it”?!

Drew Barrymore: Oh, you know it?!

Vinny Vedecci: Know it? I love it!

Drew Barrymore: Oh, it’s so great when you get to talk to somebody who understands the type of film that you went on to make. I mean, it’s so gratifying—-

[Vinny starts singing Devo’s hit “Whip it”]

Vinny Vedecci: Dadadadada, crack that whip! Dadadadada, give the past a slip! Heh, heh, heh.

Drew Barrymore: Um, ok. I think there has been another in a series of miscommunications. Um, I—

Vinny Vedecci:[continues singing] When a problem comes along—

Show’s director: You must whip it!

Vinny Vedecci: Before the cream sits out too long—

Show’s director: You must whip it!

Vinny Vedecci: When something is going wrong, take it Drew!

[Vinny and the director wait for Drew’s line anxiously]

Drew Barrymore: [gives up] You must whip it!

Vinny Vedecci: Hey! Everybody whip it! That’s the show! Good night!

[Vinny’s son comes out] [Show’s logo] [cheers and applause] [fade]

Submitted by: Waldo San Miguel

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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