Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 35: Episode 4
Fuquay Satin’s Grand Hoochie Skank Rose
Fuquay Satin…..Kenan Thompson
[ open on footage of club girls shaking their asses ]
[ Fuquay Satin steps forward among the women ]
Fuquay Satin: Hello! It’s me again — Fuquay Satin. Owner and proprieter of Maison du Satin, makers of fine urban champagne. Including: Ghetto Imperial… Section 8 Reserve… and Minneapolis Mystery!
Champagne is for more than just drinking. It’s also for pouring on women in celebration of wealth and sexual excess. Which is why I drink :this: [ he holds up bottle ] Fuquay Satin’s Grand Hoochie Skank Rose. The champagne especially designed to pour down women’s asses. Every bottle of Grand Hoochie Skank Rose comes with a wide mouth, AND twice the carbonation for more bubbles!
[ gratuitous close-up of champagne being poured on a woman’s jiggly ass ]
Fuquay Satin: With seven lumps of apricots, ginger, and ass. Grand Hoochie Skank Rose goes exquisitely with some of your favortie foods. Including: fishsticks… fried rice in a styrofoam carton.
Some people say my new champagne tastes funny. Well, let me ask you a question: Was that before or after you poured it down someone’s ass?
[ product line-up ]
Fuquay Satin V/O: So try all of my Maison du Satin brand urban champagne.
[ return to Fuquay Satin surrounded by his ladies ]
Fuquay Satin: Maison du Satin. If you got ten dollars… well, then you got Grand Hoochie Skank Rose!
[ fade ]