SNL Transcripts: Gerard Butler: 10/17/09: Fuquay Satin’s Grand Hoochie Skank Rose


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 35: Episode 4

09d: Gerard Butler / Shakira

Fuquay Satin’s Grand Hoochie Skank Rose

Fuquay Satin…..Kenan Thompson

[ open on footage of club girls shaking their asses ] [ Fuquay Satin steps forward among the women ]

Fuquay Satin: Hello! It’s me again — Fuquay Satin. Owner and proprieter of Maison du Satin, makers of fine urban champagne. Including: Ghetto Imperial… Section 8 Reserve… and Minneapolis Mystery!

Champagne is for more than just drinking. It’s also for pouring on women in celebration of wealth and sexual excess. Which is why I drink :this: [ he holds up bottle ] Fuquay Satin’s Grand Hoochie Skank Rose. The champagne especially designed to pour down women’s asses. Every bottle of Grand Hoochie Skank Rose comes with a wide mouth, AND twice the carbonation for more bubbles!

[ gratuitous close-up of champagne being poured on a woman’s jiggly ass ]

Fuquay Satin: With seven lumps of apricots, ginger, and ass. Grand Hoochie Skank Rose goes exquisitely with some of your favortie foods. Including: fishsticks… fried rice in a styrofoam carton.

Some people say my new champagne tastes funny. Well, let me ask you a question: Was that before or after you poured it down someone’s ass?

[ product line-up ]

Fuquay Satin V/O: So try all of my Maison du Satin brand urban champagne.

[ return to Fuquay Satin surrounded by his ladies ]

Fuquay Satin: Maison du Satin. If you got ten dollars… well, then you got Grand Hoochie Skank Rose!

[ fade ]

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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