SNL Transcripts: Taylor Swift: 11/07/09: Bunny Business



 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 35: Episode 5
















09e: Taylor Swift

Bunny Business

Shakira…..Taylor Swift
Randy Newman…..Fred Armisen
Christina Aguilera…..Abby Elliott
Announcer/Eddie Vedder…..Bill Hader
Adam Duritz…..Andy Samberg
Jennifer Hudson…..Kenan Thompson
Natalie Merchant…..Kristen Wiig

FADE IN:

[ A pastel colored screen. ] [ SUPER: THIS FALL ]

Announcer: This fall, there’s only one movie that has kids hopping for joy!

[ SUPER: ONE MOVIE HAS KIDS HOPPING FOR JOY! ]

Announcer: “Bunny Business”!

[ TITLE: BUNNY BUSINESS ]

Announcer: The story of a couple of bunnies with a lot of ambition.

[ MEDIOCRE COMPUTER ANIMATION OF BUNNIES IN BUSINESS SUITS IN AN OFFICE COMPLEX. ]

Announcer: Before you see the movie, buy the soundtrack!

[ COVER ART OF THE “BUNNY BUSINESS” SOUNDTRACK ] [ SUPER: BUY THE SOUNDTRACK! ]

Announcer: Featuring an original song by Randy Newman!

[ RANDY NEWMAN plays on a grand black piano. ] [ SUPER: RANDY NEWMAN, “THEME FROM BUNNY BUSINESS” ]

Randy Newman: [singing]“Bunnies wearing suits,
Bunnies sending faxes,
Got a bunny briefcase,
Bunny business!”

[ MORE BUNNY ANIMATION ]

Announcer: These bunnies have a nose for business and a “tail” for the ages. And now you can own the soundtrack, featuring a brand new song by Natalie Merchant!

[ INSTRUMENTAL: “THESE ARE THE DAYS” ] [ NATALIE MERCHANT stands at a microphone. ] [ SUPER: NATALIE MERCHANT, “OFFICE BUNNIES” ]

Natalie Merchant: [singing]“These are bunnies,
Carrying a briefcase,
Never before have bunnies before,
Worked in an office”

[ Natalie twitches her body in rhythm to the song. ] [ SCROLL: U2, PETER GABRIEL, PHIL COLLINS, SMASH MOUTH, NELLY FURTADO, TOTO, FLO RIDA, KATY PERRY, MC HAMMER, AND SHAKIRA! ]

Announcer: And that’s not all! “Bunny Business” features over 30 original songs, from some of the world’s most successful singers! Including Shakira!

[ INSTRUMENTAL: “SHE WOLF” ] [ SHAKIRA scans the area in a black one-piece. ] [ SUPER: SHAKIRA, “BUNNY HIPS DON’T LIE” ]

Shakira: [singing]“So many bunnies on the floor tonight,
Hopping and shaking their bunny hips,
There’s a she bunny in all of us,
Ohhhhh!!
Jump on the dance floor don’t be shy,
Wear pant suits and send a fax,
Bunny girls jump on your bunny boys
Ohhhhh whooo!!!”

[ Shakira grinds her body. ]

Announcer: The “Bunny Business” soundtrack! And when you hear animated bunnies, you immediately think of Adam Duritz from The Counting Crows!

[ INSTRUMENTAL: “MR. JONES” ] [ ADAM DURITZ stands at a microphone. ] [ SUPER: ADAM DURITZ, “BAD BUNNY THEME” ]

Adam Duritz: [singing]:
“Bunny Business song
Tra-la-la-la,
Bunnies in pantsuits,And Mr. Jones!”

[ Adam flashes the peace sign. ]

Announcer: Kids love bunnies in pant suits, but they love Eddie Vedder and Christina Aguilera even more!

[ INSTRUMENTAL ROCK MUSIC ] [ CHRISTINA AGUILERA & EDDIE VEDDER stand at a microphone. ] [ SUPER: CHRISTINA AGUILERA & EDDIE VEDDER, “THE BUNNY MERGER WENT THROUGH” ] [ Christina warbles at the top of her lungs, then Eddie mutters incoherent lyrics. ]

Announcer: Didn’t enjoy previewing “Bunny Business”! Who cares!? We never even finished the movie! We were too busy enjoying this instant classic by Jennifer Hudson!

[ INSTRUMENTAL: “AND I’M TELLING YOU I’M NOT GOING” ] [ JENNIFER HUDSON is dressed in a black evening gown. ] [ SUPER: JENNIFER HUDSON, “AND I’M TELLING YOU (YOU’RE A BUNNY)” ]

Jennifer Hudson: [singing]“No, no, no, no way
No, no, no, no way
They’re not really wearing pant suits,
It’s a whole big mess,
Of honky bunny business!”

[ Jennifer points to several areas. ]

Jennifer Hudson: [singing]“And you, and you, and you,
You’re going to pay me…
For this soundtrack…
You’re going to pay me…
Money!”

Announcer: The “Bunny Business” soundtrack. Even if you buy it, our careers are over!

Submitted by: Cody Downs

SNL Transcripts

Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. - LinkedIn

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