Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 35: Episode 5
Lexie: Honey, you sure you dont mind staying in tonight?
Bennett: Hey, it doesnt matter where we are, Lexi, as long as we are together.
Lexie: EWW, Bennet! Thats the worst!
Bennett: I know Im adorable right?
Lexie: Yes. You still wanna watch Master and Commander?
Bennett: Yeah, or we could play Master and Commander!
Lexie: BENNET! Stop it.
Bennett: Oh no. Is that your roommate?
Lexie: Yeeah. *gasp* ANNA!!!
Anna: Lexi, Im back!
TOGETHER: OH MY GOD I MISSED YOU SOO MUCH! I missed you so much! I MISSED YOU. I MISSED YOU. I MISSED YOU!!!
Lexie: Youre my everything!
Bennett: wow.. Have you been out of town or something?
Lexie: Nooo shes been at work. At her part time job at Bath and Body Works!
Anna: For TWO HOURS!!
TOGETHER: Oh I missed you! I love you soo much! Youre everything to me I missed you!
Lexie: Bath and Body Works is THE worst!
Anna: So is being away from you!
Lexie: BENNET!! Look whose here!
Bennett: Hi Anna.
Anna: BENNNNEEETT!!! What are we watching?
Lexie: Master and Commander, but not until you get in your jammies!
Lexie: Ohkay hurry.. hurry!
Anna: Okay I will.
Lexie: Oh wait dont go!
Anna: I have to.
Lexie:Dont go yet. dont go dont go dont go NOOO! Isnt she cool?
Bennett:Shes ah- shes definitely cool. Have you thought any more about getting your own place?
Lexie: Yeah kinda [ cell phone rings ] Oh my god Im sorry Im so sorry. Im gunna have to take this. Hello? Hi! How are you? Wha- What happened? OH Im just sitting here. Its Anna. Yeah hes still here.
Bennett: Shes calling you from the other room?
Lexie: Shhhh. Im sorry Hun what did you say? Aww I miss you too! Are you in your jammies yet? Well then come on out then. Oh ah- hahaha then see you soon! That was Anna.
Bennett: Yeah I know. Hey do you wanna go hang at my place?
Lexie: Oh I dunno. Anna just got here and I dont think shes gunna wanna go out.
Anna: Look I brought snacks!
Lexie: Snacks for my tummy!! Give it here. Give it here!
Anna: Do you want some blanket?
Lexie: Thank you!! awwwwwww
Anna: HEEY BENNETTT! Do you want some blanket!?
Bennett: Im Okay
Anna:BENNNEEET!! I missed you!
Lexie:I missed you too! Quit your job!
Anna:I want to so bad!
Lexie: Youre the only person I wanna hang out with! Hey I was gunna tell you something
Anna: *GASP* Hay is for horses and chicken and fish.
Lexie: Hit me three times and ill grant you a wish!
TOGETHER: 3,2,1, BAArak- aback-abak-abak-abak-abak-abak (x4)BARRAK OBAMA!! Burrrrr..
Anna:Does he get it? Hey Bennet? Do you get it?
Lexie: *GASP* Hay is for horses and chicken and fish!
TOGETHER: Hit me three times and I’ll TRIPLE your wish. 3,2,1 BAArak- aback-abak-abak-abak-abak-abak-
Bennett: Guys. GUYS! Look your inside jokes are really cute and everything but I dunno I thought tonight was gunna be just about us hangin out.
Lexie: Thats weird.
Anna:N-no I get it. I guess um- I guess Ill just head back to my room now.
Lexie: [ grabbing Anna’s leg ] no. No. Noo. NOo. NOO. NOOo. NOOO. NOOOO. NOOOOOOOOO
Bennett: Whats wrong?
Lexie: Nothing. Shes just like a really great person.
Bennett: You wanna hang out with Anna dont you?
Lexie: Oh- umm no Im totally fine with this.
Bennett: Look if it really means that much to you-
Lexie:Great. HEY ANNA!
Anna:Hay is for horses and chicken and fish.
TOGETHER: BAArak- aback-abak-abak-abak-abak-abak. BAArak- aback-abak-abak-abak-abak-abak. BAArak- aback-abak-abak-abak-abak-abak. BAArak- aback-abak-abak-abak-abak-abak.
Submitted by: Nikki Daoust