Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 35: Episode 5
Lexie: Honey, you sure you dont mind staying in tonight?
Bennett: Hey, it doesnt matter where we are, Lexi, as long as we are together.
Lexie: EWW, Bennet! Thats the worst!
Bennett: I know Im adorable right?
Lexie: Yes. You still wanna watch Master and Commander?
Bennett: Yeah, or we could play Master and Commander!
Lexie: BENNET! Stop it.
Bennett: Oh no. Is that your roommate?
Lexie: Yeeah. *gasp* ANNA!!!
Anna: Lexi, Im back!
TOGETHER: OH MY GOD I MISSED YOU SOO MUCH! I missed you so much! I MISSED YOU. I MISSED YOU. I MISSED YOU!!!
Lexie: Youre my everything!
Bennett: wow.. Have you been out of town or something?
Lexie: Nooo shes been at work. At her part time job at Bath and Body Works!
Anna: For TWO HOURS!!
TOGETHER: Oh I missed you! I love you soo much! Youre everything to me I missed you!
Lexie: Bath and Body Works is THE worst!
Anna: So is being away from you!
Lexie: BENNET!! Look whose here!
Bennett: Hi Anna.
Anna: BENNNNEEETT!!! What are we watching?
Lexie: Master and Commander, but not until you get in your jammies!
Lexie: Ohkay hurry.. hurry!
Anna: Okay I will.
Lexie: Oh wait dont go!
Anna: I have to.
Lexie:Dont go yet. dont go dont go dont go NOOO! Isnt she cool?
Bennett:Shes ah- shes definitely cool. Have you thought any more about getting your own place?
Lexie: Yeah kinda [ cell phone rings ] Oh my god Im sorry Im so sorry. Im gunna have to take this. Hello? Hi! How are you? Wha- What happened? OH Im just sitting here. Its Anna. Yeah hes still here.
Bennett: Shes calling you from the other room?
Lexie: Shhhh. Im sorry Hun what did you say? Aww I miss you too! Are you in your jammies yet? Well then come on out then. Oh ah- hahaha then see you soon! That was Anna.
Bennett: Yeah I know. Hey do you wanna go hang at my place?
Lexie: Oh I dunno. Anna just got here and I dont think shes gunna wanna go out.
Anna: Look I brought snacks!
Lexie: Snacks for my tummy!! Give it here. Give it here!
Anna: Do you want some blanket?
Lexie: Thank you!! awwwwwww
Anna: HEEY BENNETTT! Do you want some blanket!?
Bennett: Im Okay
Anna:BENNNEEET!! I missed you!
Lexie:I missed you too! Quit your job!
Anna:I want to so bad!
Lexie: Youre the only person I wanna hang out with! Hey I was gunna tell you something
Anna: *GASP* Hay is for horses and chicken and fish.
Lexie: Hit me three times and ill grant you a wish!
TOGETHER: 3,2,1, BAArak- aback-abak-abak-abak-abak-abak (x4)BARRAK OBAMA!! Burrrrr..
Anna:Does he get it? Hey Bennet? Do you get it?
Lexie: *GASP* Hay is for horses and chicken and fish!
TOGETHER: Hit me three times and I’ll TRIPLE your wish. 3,2,1 BAArak- aback-abak-abak-abak-abak-abak-
Bennett: Guys. GUYS! Look your inside jokes are really cute and everything but I dunno I thought tonight was gunna be just about us hangin out.
Lexie: Thats weird.
Anna:N-no I get it. I guess um- I guess Ill just head back to my room now.
Lexie: [ grabbing Anna’s leg ] no. No. Noo. NOo. NOO. NOOo. NOOO. NOOOO. NOOOOOOOOO
Bennett: Whats wrong?
Lexie: Nothing. Shes just like a really great person.
Bennett: You wanna hang out with Anna dont you?
Lexie: Oh- umm no Im totally fine with this.
Bennett: Look if it really means that much to you-
Lexie:Great. HEY ANNA!
Anna:Hay is for horses and chicken and fish.
TOGETHER: BAArak- aback-abak-abak-abak-abak-abak. BAArak- aback-abak-abak-abak-abak-abak. BAArak- aback-abak-abak-abak-abak-abak. BAArak- aback-abak-abak-abak-abak-abak.
Submitted by: Nikki Daoust
This skit always makes me happy. I’ve been in love with roommates more than boys and boys more than roommates.
It’s definitely always better to love your roommates more than boys. Imagine being jealous of two girls in their jammies with snacks under a blanket. I think Bennet needs a playstation or something.