SNL Transcripts: Taylor Swift: 11/07/09: Roomies

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 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 35: Episode 5










09e: Taylor Swift

Roomies

Lexie…..Nasim Pedrad
Bennett…..Andy Samberg
Anna…..Taylor Swift

Lexie: Honey, you sure you don’t mind staying in tonight?

Bennett: Hey, it doesn’t matter where we are, Lexi, as long as we are together.

Lexie: EWW, Bennet! That’s the worst!

Bennett: I know I’m adorable right?

Lexie: Yes. You still wanna watch Master and Commander?

Bennett: Yeah, or we could play Master and Commander!

Lexie: BENNET! Stop it.

Bennett: Oh no. Is that your roommate?

Lexie: Yeeah. *gasp* ANNA!!!

Anna: Lexi, I’m back!

TOGETHER: OH MY GOD I MISSED YOU SOO MUCH! I missed you so much! I MISSED YOU. I MISSED YOU. I MISSED YOU!!!

Lexie: You’re my everything!

Bennett: wow.. Have you been out of town or something?

Lexie: Nooo she’s been at work. At her part time job at Bath and Body Works!

Anna: For TWO HOURS!!

TOGETHER: Oh I missed you! I love you soo much! You’re everything to me I missed you!

Lexie: Bath and Body Works is THE worst!

Anna: So is being away from you!

Lexie: BENNET!! Look whose here!

Bennett: Hi Anna.

Anna: BENNNNEEETT!!! What are we watching?

Lexie: Master and Commander, but not until you get in your jammies!

Anna: BENNNETT!

Lexie: Ohkay hurry.. hurry!

Anna: Okay I will.

Lexie: Oh wait don’t go!

Anna: I have to.

Lexie:Don’t go yet. don’t go don’t go don’t go NOOO! Isn’t she cool?

Bennett:She’s ah- she’s definitely cool. Have you thought any more about getting your own place?

Lexie: Yeah kinda… [ cell phone rings ] Oh my god I’m sorry I’m so sorry. I’m gunna have to take this. Hello? Hi! How are you? Wha- What happened? OH I’m just sitting here. It’s Anna. Yeah he’s still here.

Bennett: She’s calling you from the other room?

Lexie: Shhhh. I’m sorry Hun what did you say? Aww I miss you too! Are you in your jammies yet? Well then come on out then. Oh ah- hahaha then see you soon! That was Anna.

Bennett: Yeah I know. Hey do you wanna go hang at my place?

Lexie: Oh I dunno. Anna just got here and I don’t think she’s gunna wanna go out.

Anna: Look I brought snacks!

Lexie: Snacks for my tummy!! Give it here. Give it here!

Anna: Do you want some blanket?

Lexie: Thank you!! awwwwwww

Anna: HEEY BENNETTT! Do you want some blanket!?

Bennett: I’m Okay

Anna:BENNNEEET!! I missed you!

Lexie:I missed you too! Quit your job!

Anna:I want to so bad!

Lexie: You’re the only person I wanna hang out with! Hey I was gunna tell you something…

Anna: *GASP* Hay is for horses and chicken and fish.

Lexie: Hit me three times and ill grant you a wish!

TOGETHER: 3,2,1, BAArak- aback-abak-abak-abak-abak-abak (x4)BARRAK OBAMA!! Burrrrr..

Anna:Does he get it? Hey Bennet? Do you get it?

Lexie: *GASP* Hay is for horses and chicken and fish!

TOGETHER: Hit me three times and I’ll TRIPLE your wish. 3,2,1 BAArak- aback-abak-abak-abak-abak-abak-

Bennett: Guys. GUYS! Look your inside jokes are really cute and everything but I dunno I thought tonight was gunna be just about us hangin out.

Lexie: That’s weird.

Anna:N-no I get it. I guess um- I guess I’ll just head back to my room now.

Lexie: [ grabbing Anna’s leg ] no. No. Noo. NOo. NOO. NOOo. NOOO. NOOOO. NOOOOOOOOO

Bennett: What’s wrong?

Lexie: Nothing. She’s just like a really great person.

Bennett: You wanna hang out with Anna don’t you?

Lexie: Oh- umm no I’m totally fine with… this.

Bennett: Look if it really means that much to you-

Lexie:Great. HEY ANNA!

Anna:Hay is for horses and chicken and fish.

TOGETHER: BAArak- aback-abak-abak-abak-abak-abak. BAArak- aback-abak-abak-abak-abak-abak. BAArak- aback-abak-abak-abak-abak-abak. BAArak- aback-abak-abak-abak-abak-abak.

Submitted by: Nikki Daoust

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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