SNL Transcripts: Taylor Swift: 11/07/09: Roomies


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 35: Episode 5

09e: Taylor Swift


Lexie…..Nasim Pedrad
Bennett…..Andy Samberg
Anna…..Taylor Swift

Lexie: Honey, you sure you don’t mind staying in tonight?

Bennett: Hey, it doesn’t matter where we are, Lexi, as long as we are together.

Lexie: EWW, Bennet! That’s the worst!

Bennett: I know I’m adorable right?

Lexie: Yes. You still wanna watch Master and Commander?

Bennett: Yeah, or we could play Master and Commander!

Lexie: BENNET! Stop it.

Bennett: Oh no. Is that your roommate?

Lexie: Yeeah. *gasp* ANNA!!!

Anna: Lexi, I’m back!


Lexie: You’re my everything!

Bennett: wow.. Have you been out of town or something?

Lexie: Nooo she’s been at work. At her part time job at Bath and Body Works!

Anna: For TWO HOURS!!

TOGETHER: Oh I missed you! I love you soo much! You’re everything to me I missed you!

Lexie: Bath and Body Works is THE worst!

Anna: So is being away from you!

Lexie: BENNET!! Look whose here!

Bennett: Hi Anna.

Anna: BENNNNEEETT!!! What are we watching?

Lexie: Master and Commander, but not until you get in your jammies!


Lexie: Ohkay hurry.. hurry!

Anna: Okay I will.

Lexie: Oh wait don’t go!

Anna: I have to.

Lexie:Don’t go yet. don’t go don’t go don’t go NOOO! Isn’t she cool?

Bennett:She’s ah- she’s definitely cool. Have you thought any more about getting your own place?

Lexie: Yeah kinda… [ cell phone rings ] Oh my god I’m sorry I’m so sorry. I’m gunna have to take this. Hello? Hi! How are you? Wha- What happened? OH I’m just sitting here. It’s Anna. Yeah he’s still here.

Bennett: She’s calling you from the other room?

Lexie: Shhhh. I’m sorry Hun what did you say? Aww I miss you too! Are you in your jammies yet? Well then come on out then. Oh ah- hahaha then see you soon! That was Anna.

Bennett: Yeah I know. Hey do you wanna go hang at my place?

Lexie: Oh I dunno. Anna just got here and I don’t think she’s gunna wanna go out.

Anna: Look I brought snacks!

Lexie: Snacks for my tummy!! Give it here. Give it here!

Anna: Do you want some blanket?

Lexie: Thank you!! awwwwwww

Anna: HEEY BENNETTT! Do you want some blanket!?

Bennett: I’m Okay

Anna:BENNNEEET!! I missed you!

Lexie:I missed you too! Quit your job!

Anna:I want to so bad!

Lexie: You’re the only person I wanna hang out with! Hey I was gunna tell you something…

Anna: *GASP* Hay is for horses and chicken and fish.

Lexie: Hit me three times and ill grant you a wish!

TOGETHER: 3,2,1, BAArak- aback-abak-abak-abak-abak-abak (x4)BARRAK OBAMA!! Burrrrr..

Anna:Does he get it? Hey Bennet? Do you get it?

Lexie: *GASP* Hay is for horses and chicken and fish!

TOGETHER: Hit me three times and I’ll TRIPLE your wish. 3,2,1 BAArak- aback-abak-abak-abak-abak-abak-

Bennett: Guys. GUYS! Look your inside jokes are really cute and everything but I dunno I thought tonight was gunna be just about us hangin out.

Lexie: That’s weird.

Anna:N-no I get it. I guess um- I guess I’ll just head back to my room now.

Lexie: [ grabbing Anna’s leg ] no. No. Noo. NOo. NOO. NOOo. NOOO. NOOOO. NOOOOOOOOO

Bennett: What’s wrong?

Lexie: Nothing. She’s just like a really great person.

Bennett: You wanna hang out with Anna don’t you?

Lexie: Oh- umm no I’m totally fine with… this.

Bennett: Look if it really means that much to you-

Lexie:Great. HEY ANNA!

Anna:Hay is for horses and chicken and fish.

TOGETHER: BAArak- aback-abak-abak-abak-abak-abak. BAArak- aback-abak-abak-abak-abak-abak. BAArak- aback-abak-abak-abak-abak-abak. BAArak- aback-abak-abak-abak-abak-abak.

Submitted by: Nikki Daoust

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. - LinkedIn

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