SNL Transcripts: Taylor Swift: 11/07/09: Carter N’ Sons BBQ



 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 35: Episode 5










09e: Taylor Swift

Carter N’ Sons BBQ

Ronnie Carter…..Bobby Moynihan
Father…..Fred Armisen
Mother…..Nasim Pedrad
Male Diner…..Andy Samberg
Elvis Impersonator…..Jason Sudeikis

[ open on disclaimer ]

Announcer: “The following commercial was filmed in 2002 before the outbreak of the Swine Flu virus”

[ dissolve to commercial ]

Ronnie Carter: Hi! I’m Ronnie Carter! Come on down to Carter N’ Sons, where, one taste of our signature pulled pork barbecue, and you’ll have…

Jingle: SWIIIIIIIINE FEVER!!!

Ronnie Carter: YEEEEE-HAWWWWW!!!

[ cut to table full of barbecue, with SUPER: ]

Announcer: The management of Carter N’ Sons would like to clarify that “Swine Fever” is not related to the H1N1 Virus, or “Swine Flu”.

[ Ronnie Carter approaches a family dining in his restaurant ]

Ronnie Carter: Howdy, folks! Enjoying your meal?

Father: Enjoying it? Heck, I got Swine Fever!

Mother: I got it!

Kids: WE got it!!

Jingle: SWIIIIIIIINE FEVER!!!

Ronnie Carter: THIS Swine Fever is CONTAGIOUS!

[ cut to table full of barbecue, with SUPER: ]

Announcer: “Swine Fever” is a metaphor meant to symbolize a craving for Carter N’ Songs Barbecue. It was created for an ad campaign several years ago, well before the “Swine Flu” or H1N1 epidemic.

[ cut to Male Diner eating at table ]

Male Diner: My doctor said this Swine Fever’s gonna be the death of me!

[ cut to table full of barbecue, with SUPER: ]

Announcer: “Swine Fever” is not contagious and not even a medically classifiable disease.

Jingle: SWIIIIIIIINE FEVER!!!

[ cut to table full of barbecue, with SUPER: ]

Announcer: We promised to shoot a new commercial soon but we didn’t have the money because business has been way down due to the confusion about “Swine Fever”.

[ cut to Elvis impersonator holding up a rib ]

Elvis Impersonator: I got Swine Fever, and I gots it bad! Thank you! Thank you very much!

Ronnie Carter: One taste of Carter N’ Sons, and you’re GUARANTEED to leave with…

Jingle: SWIIIIIIIINE FEVER!!!

Ronnie Carter: And the only cure for Swine Fever is… MORE BARBECUE!! [ he wipes the sweat from his brow ] Hoo-wee! I hope we have enough!

[ cut to barbecue plate ]

Ronnie Carter V/O: And don’t forget to try our special Sausage And Ribs Sampler!

[ new disclaimer appears over this part of the commercial ]

Announcer: We recognize that this spells S.A.R.S. We regret the coincidence.

[ cut back to Ronnie Carter laughing ]

Ronnie Carter: I’ll see you there!

[ fade ]

SNL Transcripts

Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. - LinkedIn

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