Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 35: Episode 6
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Air Date:Host:Musical Guest:Special Guests:Cameos:Bit Players:
November 14th, 2009
January Jones
Black Eyed Peas
None
Darrell Hammond
None
A Message from the Vice-President of the United States
Summary: While President Obama is out of the country, Joe Biden (Jason Sudeikis) plans to quickly solve the Health Care dilemma.
Recurring Characters: Joe Biden.
Transcript
Montage
January Jones’ Monologue
Summary: January Jones meets obsessed “Man Men” fans, the “Mad Mennies” (Jason, Sudeikis, Bill Hader, Fred Armisen).
Transcript
Today
Summary: While singing, Kathie Lee Gifford (Kristen Wiig) is assaulted by members of the Black Eyed Peas.
Recurring Characters: Kathy Lee Gifford, Hoda Kotb.
Rear Window
Summary: While filming her first scene in an Alfred Hitchcock (Bobby Moynihan) movie, Grace Kelly (January Jones) can’t stop farting.
Recurring Characters: Alfred Hitchcock, Jimmy Stewart.
WIIX News
Summary: Once again, reporter Michelle Dison (Kristeen Wiig) finds herself strangely attracted to the young woman (January Jones) she’s interviewing for a story.
Recurring Characters: Gil, Michaelle Dison.
Transcript
A Lady’s Guide to Throwing a Party
Summary: In a 1952 short film, a housewife (January Jones) demonstrates proper party-throwing etiquette to make her husband (Bill Hader) look good in front of his peers.
Transcript
Black Eyed Peas perform “I Gotta Feeling”
Weekend Update with Seth Meyers
Summary: Lou Dobbs (Darrell Hammond) uses racist rremarks to explain why he’s leaving CNN. Kim Kardeshian (Nasim Pedrad) can only talk about herself while attempting to discuss her sister’s celebrity-studded wedding. Jon Bovi (Jason Sudeikis, Will Forte) sing lyrics instead of commenting on the 20th anniversary of the fall of the Berlin Wall.
Recurring Characters: Lou Dobbs, Jon Bovi.
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde
Summary: Dr. Jekyll (Bill Hader) seeks more funding for his serum, which relunctantly turns him into a gay Mr. Hyde.
An SNL Digital Short
Summary: No matter what room he enters, a guy (Fred Armisen) can’t avoid walking in on his roommate (Andy Samberg) while he’s on the toilet.
Transcript
Black Eyed Peas perform “Meet Me Halfway”
Cloud Gazing
Summary: Jason (Jason Sudeikis) tries to get romantic with Kelly (January Jones) while looking up at clouds, even though she clearly has no imagination skills.
Transcript
Goodnights/Black Eyed Peas perform “Boom Boom Pow”
Transcript
Dress Rehearsal Cuts
Glamour GirlSummary: A crisis breaks out, but superhero Glamour Girl (January Jones) is slow to react because she takes too much time getting herself put together.
The Cougar Denb>Summary: Jacqueline Seka (Kristen Wiig), and two new friends (Abby Elliott, Jenny Slate) interview a pair of airline stewardesses (January Jones, Fergie).
Recurring Characters: Jacqueline Seka, Kenneth.
Kickspit Underground Rock FestivalSummary: DJ Super Soak (Jason Sudeikis) and fellow emcee (January Jones) promote an under-underground rock festival.
Recurring Characters: DJ Super Soak.
Note: This sketch would be tweaked and later performed on the episode hosted by Blake Lively.
Tyson ProductsSummary: Mike Tyson (Kenan Thompson) promotes his frozen dinner line to a hungry family.
Recurring Characters: Mike Tyson.
Huckler’s PopcornSummary: Spokeswomen (January Jones, Jenny Slate) pitch popcorn product.