SNL Transcripts: January Jones: 11/14/09


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 35: Episode 6

This free script provided by]]>

Air Date:


Musical Guest:

Special Guests:


Bit Players:

November 14th, 2009

January Jones

Black Eyed Peas


Darrell Hammond


A Message from the Vice-President of the United StatesSummary: While President Obama is out of the country, Joe Biden (Jason Sudeikis) plans to quickly solve the Health Care dilemma.

Recurring Characters: Joe Biden.



January Jones’ MonologueSummary: January Jones meets obsessed “Man Men” fans, the “Mad Mennies” (Jason, Sudeikis, Bill Hader, Fred Armisen).


TodaySummary: While singing, Kathie Lee Gifford (Kristen Wiig) is assaulted by members of the Black Eyed Peas.

Recurring Characters: Kathy Lee Gifford, Hoda Kotb.

Rear WindowSummary: While filming her first scene in an Alfred Hitchcock (Bobby Moynihan) movie, Grace Kelly (January Jones) can’t stop farting.

Recurring Characters: Alfred Hitchcock, Jimmy Stewart.

WIIX NewsSummary: Once again, reporter Michelle Dison (Kristeen Wiig) finds herself strangely attracted to the young woman (January Jones) she’s interviewing for a story.

Recurring Characters: Gil, Michaelle Dison.


A Lady’s Guide to Throwing a PartySummary: In a 1952 short film, a housewife (January Jones) demonstrates proper party-throwing etiquette to make her husband (Bill Hader) look good in front of his peers.


Black Eyed Peas perform “I Gotta Feeling”

Weekend Update with Seth MeyersSummary: Lou Dobbs (Darrell Hammond) uses racist rremarks to explain why he’s leaving CNN. Kim Kardeshian (Nasim Pedrad) can only talk about herself while attempting to discuss her sister’s celebrity-studded wedding. Jon Bovi (Jason Sudeikis, Will Forte) sing lyrics instead of commenting on the 20th anniversary of the fall of the Berlin Wall.

Recurring Characters: Lou Dobbs, Jon Bovi.

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. HydeSummary: Dr. Jekyll (Bill Hader) seeks more funding for his serum, which relunctantly turns him into a gay Mr. Hyde.

An SNL Digital ShortSummary: No matter what room he enters, a guy (Fred Armisen) can’t avoid walking in on his roommate (Andy Samberg) while he’s on the toilet.


Black Eyed Peas perform “Meet Me Halfway”

Cloud GazingSummary: Jason (Jason Sudeikis) tries to get romantic with Kelly (January Jones) while looking up at clouds, even though she clearly has no imagination skills.


Goodnights/Black Eyed Peas perform “Boom Boom Pow”Transcript

Dress Rehearsal Cuts

Glamour GirlSummary: A crisis breaks out, but superhero Glamour Girl (January Jones) is slow to react because she takes too much time getting herself put together.

The Cougar Denb>Summary: Jacqueline Seka (Kristen Wiig), and two new friends (Abby Elliott, Jenny Slate) interview a pair of airline stewardesses (January Jones, Fergie).

Recurring Characters: Jacqueline Seka, Kenneth.

Kickspit Underground Rock FestivalSummary: DJ Super Soak (Jason Sudeikis) and fellow emcee (January Jones) promote an under-underground rock festival.

Recurring Characters: DJ Super Soak.

Note: This sketch would be tweaked and later performed on the episode hosted by Blake Lively.

Tyson ProductsSummary: Mike Tyson (Kenan Thompson) promotes his frozen dinner line to a hungry family.

Recurring Characters: Mike Tyson.

Huckler’s PopcornSummary: Spokeswomen (January Jones, Jenny Slate) pitch popcorn product.

SNL Transcripts

How useful was this post?

Click on a star to rate it!

Average rating 0 / 5. Vote count: 0

No votes so far! Be the first to rate this post.

Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

Notify of
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Would love your thoughts, please comment.x