SNL Transcripts: January Jones: 11/14/09: Cloud Gazing

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 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 35: Episode 6




09f: January Jones / Black Eyed Peas

Cloud Gazing

Jason…..Jason Sudeikis
Kelly…..January Jones

[ open on couple lying down on the grass somewhere in San Francisco, with the Golden Gate Bridge in the background ]

Jason: I’m so glad we did this.

Kelly: I know. It’s the perfect first date, with the perfect man.

Jason: [ he chuckles, as he gazes into the sky ] Look at all these clouds. It’s too bad we already ate — there might be a chance of meatballs!

Kelly: [ she laughs with him ] What?

Jason: Oh, uh, it’s… just a reference to that movie, “Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs”?

Kelly: Ohhh. That’s funny. Sorry, I haven’t seen a movie in a while. The last one I saw in the theater was probably… “The Wiz”?

Jason: [ incredulous ] “The Wiz”? Wow, that’s — you saw that in the theaters?

Kelly: Yeah, I “Wiz” not that into seeing movies! [ she laughs out loud at this joke ]

Jason: [ laughing ] Yeah… yeah… [ pointing ] Hey, look at that cloud. It’s like a sailboat, you know? You see, there’s the mast, and the sail, and the hull of the ship right there.

Kelly: [ looking ] Hmm… It doesn’t really look like a ship, it looks more like a… puffy, cloudy, cloud blob.

Jason: Yeah. Yeah, I mean that’s… more accurate, I guess. I just thought it might be more fun to, you know, use your imagination. You know? “Use your illusion”! [ he laughs ]

Kelly: [ laughing ] What?

Jason: Ah, that’s a Guns N’ Roses reference. I thought you might have listened to Guns N’ Roses growing up.

Kelly: Ohhhhh… that’s funny. That’s music, right? God, I can’t remember the last song I heard. Oh! It was “Muskrat Love”, by Captain & Tennille!

Jason: That’s the last song you heard?

Kelly: Well, it’s the last new song I heard. And, right now, I’m in “Muskrat Love” with these clouds! [ she laughs out loud at this joke ]

Jason: [ speechless ] Yeah. You’re very pretty. [ he chuckles ] Hey, what about that cloud? What do you think that looks like?

Kelly: A cottonball.

Jason: Anything else?

Kelly: A cottonball made of clouds.

Jason: That’s a little worse. you wanna try again?

Kelly: Two clouds!

Jason: Okay, we’ll stop there. Yeah, I was gonna say it looks like a T-Rex, you know? You see, there’s a head and a tail and two tiny arms?

Kelly: Yeah, but when they built dinosaurs, they didn’t use clouds.

Jason: [ he glances at her like she’s an idiot, then glances all around him ] Am I on “Punk’d”, or something?

Kelly: [ she laughs uproariously ] Yeah! Wait… what?

Jason: Uh — “Punk’d”. It’s a TV show. I don’t know why I thought you would get that.

Kelly: No… well, yeah, I’m not really up on my television.

Jason: Hmm.

Kelly: God, what was the last TV show I saw? Oh, right — it was the final episode of Trapper John, M.D.”

Jason: Really? “Trapper John, M.D.”?

Kelly: Yeah. Why? Is he your doctor?

Jason: No. No, he’s not even, uh — you know what? Why don’t we, uh, we’ll just be quiet for a while, just enjoy the scenery. Not even gonna worry about… talking.

Kelly: I guess I will keep my Trapper shut! [ she laughs out loud at this joke ]

Jason: [ laughing ] You are a very pretty, pretty woman!

[ they laugh together ]

Kelly: Thank you!

Jason: Oh, you’re welcome.

Kelly: [ pointing ] Oh, hey! What about that cloud? It looks like a sun.

Jason: Well, that is the sun.

Kelly: And what about those clouds? What do those clouds look like?

Jason: Uh, those ones flying? Those are birds. Yeah.

Kelly: And that tree?

Jason: [ having had enough ] Kelly, I’m gonna go!

Kelly: Well, why, why, why? I like this cloud game. And I like you. [ she rubs her face across his arm ] I like you a lot!

Jason: Yeah, I’m gonna go through with this. Okay, uh —

Kelly: Yay! [ she claps ]

Jason: Yeah.

Kelly: [ pointing ] Oh, and look — that cloud looks like a painting!

Jason: Oh,good! A painting of what?

Kelly: A cloud.

Jason: Right… right. Very good.

[ fade ]

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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