Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 35: Episode 7
November 21st, 2009
Dave Matthews Band
China Press ConferenceSummary: During press conference in China, President Barack Obama (Fred Armisen) manages to upset Chinese leader Hu Jintao (Will Forte) regarding money owed to his country.
Recurring Characters: President Barack Obama.
Joseph Gordon Levitt’s MonologueSummary: Joseph Gordon-Levitt demonstrates his excitement by performing Donald O’Conner’s “Make ‘Em Laugh” routine from “Singin’ in the Rain”.
Palin 2012Summary: In a recut movie trailer, the election of President Sarah Palin and Vice-President Glenn Beck brings about the end of days.
Secret WordSummary: Emcee Lyle Round (Bill Hader) is frustrated when celebrity panelists Mindy Gracin (Kristen Wiig) and Ricardo Gonzales (Joseph Gordon Levitt) are unable to grasp the concept of the game without sacrificing their huge egos.
An SNL Digital ShortSummary: Andy Samberg raps about his insisted relationship with what he thinks is Reba McEntire (Kenan Thompson).
Mellow ShowSummary: Jack Johnson (Andy Samberg) welcomes mellow guests Dave Matthews (Bill Hader) and Jason Mraz (Joseph Gordon-Levitt), and not-as-mellow-as-advertised Ozzy Osbourne (Dave Matthews).
Recurring Characters: Jack Johnson, Dave Matthews, Ozzy Osbourne, Boyd Tinsley.
What Up With That?Summary: Diondre Cole (Kenan Thompson) interrupts guests Al Gore, Mindy Kaling, and Lindsey Buckingham (Bill Hader) so he can continue singing his theme song.
Recurring Characters: Diondre Cole, Lindsey Buckingham.
Dave Matthews Band performs “You & Me”
Weekend Update with Seth MeyersSummary: Fulfilling NBC’s “Green Week” platform, Al Gore outlines a more passive-aggressive, downright crazy, approach to spreading the world about global warming.
Sarcastic Thanksgiving DinnerSummary: Nancy (Abby Elliott), her sons (Jason Sudeikis, Will Forte, Joseph Gordon-Levitt) and Judith (Kristen Wiig) make sarcastic remarks to one another over a tense Thanksgiving dinner
Recurring Characters: Nancy, Judith, Phil.
Woman to WomanSummary: Aggressive producer Roger Brush (Fred Armisen) fills in when the regular female host is too ill to do the show.
Dave Matthews Band performs “Shake Me Like A Monkey”
Say AnythingSummary: While trying to woo back Diane Court while holding a boombox outside her bedroom window, Lloyd Dobler (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) withstands questions and interruptions from her neighbors (Jason Sudeikis, Kristen Wiig).
Dress Rehearsal Cuts
Glamour GirlSummary: A crisis breaks out, but superhero Glamour Girl (January Jones) is slow to react because she takes too much time getting herself put together.
He Likes You Danceb>Summary: A pair of attractive girls (Jenny Slate, Nasim Pedrad) gain the attention of two lovestruck men (Andy Samberg, Joseph Gordon-Levitt) in a bar who are doing a funny dance, and wonder what they might be thinking.
Kickspit Underground Rock FestivalSummary: DJ Super Soak (Jason Sudeikis) and Lil Blaster (Nasim Pedrad) promote an under-underground rock festival.
Recurring Characters: DJ Super Soak, Lil Blaster.
Note: This sketch would later be performed on the episode hosted by Blake Lively.
Gator WorldSummary: The owner (Jason Sudeikis) of Gator World makes the audience sit through his kids singing about chickens.
Andy RooneySummary: Andy Rooney (Fred Armisen) opines about his favorite things.
Recurring Characters: Andy Rooney.
Clancy T. Bachleratt and Jackie Snad Sing Songs about Spaceships, Lullabies & Jars of BeerSummary: Spokesman (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) touts the joint collaboration of patriotic country musicians Clancy T. Bachleratt (Will Forte) and Jackie Snad (Kristen Wiig).
Recurring Characters: Clancy T. Bachleratt, Jackie Snad.