SNL Transcripts: Joseph Gordon-Levitt: 11/21/09: An SNL Digital Short


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 35: Episode 7

09g: Joseph Gordon-Levitt / Dave Matthews Band

An SNL Digital Short

…..Andy Samberg
“Reba McEntire”…..Kenan Thompson

Andy Samberg: [ singing ]“Oh! It’s been a long time coming.
Two of the world’s greatest.
America’s sweetheart, Ms. Reba McEntire.”

“Reba McEntire: [ singing ]“Yeah, yeah.
How ya doin’ Andy?”

Andy Samberg: [ singing ]“We’re about to take it to the top.
Hit ’em, Reba!”

“Reba McEntire: [ singing ]“Haters in my face trying to keep me down
But you know we keep on shinin’.”

Andy Samberg: Here we go!

“Reba McEntire: [ singing ]“Two crazy big stars from opposite worlds
’bout to set this track on fire.”

Andy Samberg: Yeah!

“She’s the queen of country”

“Reba McEntire: [ singing ]“He’s the comedy prince
Making something out of nothing.”

Andy Samberg: Ha ha!

“We hooked up in the studio to make this song.”

“Reba McEntire: [ singing ]But as usual, we ended up f–king.

Andy Samberg: No doubt!

“Flash back to when I first met Reba
Sitcom dressing room, puffing on Cheeba.
Said I was a fan, she said, “Prove it.”
Dropped her denim skirt and said, “hop to it!”

Made love all night!

“Reba McEntire: More like we f–kin’!

Andy Samberg: [ singing ]“Kids banging on the door, trying to interrupt
But them autographs can wait, ‘cuz this is way too strong
I can’t leave it alone, because her pussy’s the bomb!”

“Reba McEntire: [ singing ]“‘Well my pussy is the bomb and that’s a fact
But these N-words keep on trippin’.”

Andy Samberg: Okay!

“Reba McEntire”: [ singing ]“So I stay on my prime and drop these hits
‘Cuz I can’t go back to strippin’.
I’m Reba!”

Andy Samberg: [ singing ]“You’re my undercover freak!”

“Reba McEntire”: [ singing ]“And you’re my best friend, but our families don’t approve.”

Andy Samberg: [ singing ]That’s right, ‘cuz I’m a city boy.

“Reba McEntire”: [ singing ]“And I’m a country girlAnd I’ll never leave your sweet balls blue.”

Andy Samberg: [ singing ]‘That’s because a girl like Reba’s got just what I need
With big broad shoulders and a red-ass weave.”

“Reba McEntire”: And a penis.

Andy Samberg: [ singing ]“Hot damn, she fly.
All she wanna do is bump me
I’m a lucky guy.”

“Reba McEntire”: I’m a guy, too.

Andy Samberg: [ singing ]“My friends think I should dump her
They say she’s a man who found a wig in a dumpster.”

“Reba McEntire”: Your friends are smart.

Andy Samberg: [ singing ]“Nah, Rebes, they’re just jealous
‘Cuz I’m dating a star instead of hanging with the fellas.”

“Reba McEntire”: Hanging like my nuts.

Andy Samberg: [ singing ]“Word up, they’re just liars.
They can’t believe I can pull Reba McEntire.”

“Reba McEntire”: [ singing ]“Ever since I came out of my mama’s butt
I knew I was destined for greatness.
I looked in a dumpster and saw a wig
And thought, “Hey brother, I’m gonna take this.”

Andy Samberg: Tell ’em, Reba!

“Reba McEntire”: [ singing ]“So I put it right on and took a stroll
Right over to 30 Rock.”

Andy Samberg: SNL!

“Reba McEntire”: [ singing ]“I saw Andy Samberg and he thought I was Reba
And I made him suck my dirty c-ck.”

Andy Samberg: [ singing ]“So there you have it
Two worlds collide
We’re the new Bonnie and Clyde.”

“Reba McEntire”: Reba!

Andy Samberg: [ singing ]“From haystacks to maybacks, our love will survive
For Reba I’ll ride ’til the day that we die.”

“Reba McEntire”: I’m Reba!

[ fade ]

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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