SNL Transcripts: Joseph Gordon-Levitt: 11/21/09: An SNL Digital Short

 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 35: Episode 7

09g: Joseph Gordon-Levitt / Dave Matthews Band

An SNL Digital Short

…..Andy Samberg
“Reba McEntire”…..Kenan Thompson

Andy Samberg: [ singing ]“Oh! It’s been a long time coming.
Two of the world’s greatest.
America’s sweetheart, Ms. Reba McEntire.”

“Reba McEntire: [ singing ]“Yeah, yeah.
How ya doin’ Andy?”

Andy Samberg: [ singing ]“We’re about to take it to the top.
Hit ’em, Reba!”

“Reba McEntire: [ singing ]“Haters in my face trying to keep me down
But you know we keep on shinin’.”

Andy Samberg: Here we go!

“Reba McEntire: [ singing ]“Two crazy big stars from opposite worlds
’bout to set this track on fire.”

Andy Samberg: Yeah!

“She’s the queen of country”

“Reba McEntire: [ singing ]“He’s the comedy prince
Making something out of nothing.”

Andy Samberg: Ha ha!

“We hooked up in the studio to make this song.”

“Reba McEntire: [ singing ]But as usual, we ended up f–king.

Andy Samberg: No doubt!

“Flash back to when I first met Reba
Sitcom dressing room, puffing on Cheeba.
Said I was a fan, she said, “Prove it.”
Dropped her denim skirt and said, “hop to it!”

Made love all night!

“Reba McEntire: More like we f–kin’!

Andy Samberg: [ singing ]“Kids banging on the door, trying to interrupt
But them autographs can wait, ‘cuz this is way too strong
I can’t leave it alone, because her pussy’s the bomb!”

“Reba McEntire: [ singing ]“‘Well my pussy is the bomb and that’s a fact
But these N-words keep on trippin’.”

Andy Samberg: Okay!

“Reba McEntire”: [ singing ]“So I stay on my prime and drop these hits
‘Cuz I can’t go back to strippin’.
I’m Reba!”

Andy Samberg: [ singing ]“You’re my undercover freak!”

“Reba McEntire”: [ singing ]“And you’re my best friend, but our families don’t approve.”

Andy Samberg: [ singing ]That’s right, ‘cuz I’m a city boy.

“Reba McEntire”: [ singing ]“And I’m a country girlAnd I’ll never leave your sweet balls blue.”

Andy Samberg: [ singing ]‘That’s because a girl like Reba’s got just what I need
With big broad shoulders and a red-ass weave.”

“Reba McEntire”: And a penis.

Andy Samberg: [ singing ]“Hot damn, she fly.
All she wanna do is bump me
I’m a lucky guy.”

“Reba McEntire”: I’m a guy, too.

Andy Samberg: [ singing ]“My friends think I should dump her
They say she’s a man who found a wig in a dumpster.”

“Reba McEntire”: Your friends are smart.

Andy Samberg: [ singing ]“Nah, Rebes, they’re just jealous
‘Cuz I’m dating a star instead of hanging with the fellas.”

“Reba McEntire”: Hanging like my nuts.

Andy Samberg: [ singing ]“Word up, they’re just liars.
They can’t believe I can pull Reba McEntire.”

“Reba McEntire”: [ singing ]“Ever since I came out of my mama’s butt
I knew I was destined for greatness.
I looked in a dumpster and saw a wig
And thought, “Hey brother, I’m gonna take this.”

Andy Samberg: Tell ’em, Reba!

“Reba McEntire”: [ singing ]“So I put it right on and took a stroll
Right over to 30 Rock.”

Andy Samberg: SNL!

“Reba McEntire”: [ singing ]“I saw Andy Samberg and he thought I was Reba
And I made him suck my dirty c-ck.”

Andy Samberg: [ singing ]“So there you have it
Two worlds collide
We’re the new Bonnie and Clyde.”

“Reba McEntire”: Reba!

Andy Samberg: [ singing ]“From haystacks to maybacks, our love will survive
For Reba I’ll ride ’til the day that we die.”

“Reba McEntire”: I’m Reba!

[ fade ]

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