SNL Transcripts: Blake Lively: 12/05/09: An SNL Digital Short



 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 35: Episode 8




09h: Blake Lively / Rihanna

An SNL Digital Short

…..Rihanna
Shy Ronnie…..Andy Samberg

[An SNL Digital Short Logo appears] [opens to a class of 4th graders looking at the front of the class with a Hip Hop beat in the backgroud] [Cuts to Rihanna at the front of the class] [Rihanna sings]

Rihanna: Eh! Oh! Woah Oh!

[Camera cuts to Rihanna looking sexy and “Shy Ronnie”. Knowledge is writen on the blackboard in large letters.]

Rihanna: Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

[Camera cuts to Rihanna rotating on a pedistal. Rihanna’s name is written in cursive at the bottom of the screen]

Rihanna: Rihanna and Shy Ronnie

[Camera cuts to Shy Ronnie looking shy in front of the class with Nerdy glasses and clothes.] [Camera cuts to Rihanna and Shy Ronnie dancing in the front stage while Rihanna starts to sing]

Rihanna: Wer’ like fire an ice. Taking over the whole world.

Background Vocals: Whole world.

[Camera cuts to Shy Ronnie drawing a circle with both hands to represent the world while looking at Rihanna.] [Cuts back to Rihanna and Shy Ronnie in the front of the class room]

Rihanna: From the mountain tops, down to the boys and girls.

[Shy Ronnie points to the kids in the class room at there desk.] [Camera cuts to the kids in the class room. One child at the back of the class is sitting on a stool with a Dunce cap on]

Rihanna: And the tree of knowledge it grows cause we plan the seed.

[Camera cuts to a Mexican child who nods in agreeance.]

Rihanna: We the teachers of this and we got just what you need. Shy Ronnie

[Rihanna points to Shy Ronnie for his queue to sing] [Shy Ronnie mumbles in a very low tone]

Rihanna: Speak up.

[Shy Ronnie still mumbles at a very low tone]

Rihanna: [impatiently] Shy Ronnie. Speak Up!

[Shy Ronnie continues to mumble in a very low tone] [Rihanna tries to stop Shy Ronnie from singing]

Rihanna: OK I’ll take it from here-

Shy Ronnie: AHA!

Rihanna: OK

Rihanna: We like fire and ice taking over the whole world.

[Shy Ronnie signals the children to wave there hands in the air.] [Camera cuts to the kids in the class room waving there hands unwillingly in the air and in disgust of Shy Ronnie]

Rihanna: From the mountain tops, down to the boys and girls.

[Camera cuts back to Rihanna and Shy Ronnie. The children stopped waving their hands in the air and so did Shy Ronnie in embarrassment.]

Rihanna: Hit ‘em Shy Ronnie!

[Shy Ronnie is excited that it’s his turn to sing again hoping to redeem himself from last time] [Shy Ronnie continues to mumble in a very low tone]

Rihanna: [in disbelief] No!

[Shy Ronnie creates a feedback into the mic].

Rihanna: Move the mic away from your face.

[Shy Ronnie continues to mumble in a very low tone.]

Rihanna: C’mon, this beat cost a lot of money.

[Shy Ronnie stops singing. Camera pans out to both Rihanna and Shy Ronnie]

Rihanna: Oh, no. Oh, no. He pissed himself. He pissed himself!

[Camera cuts to full view of Rihanna and Shy Ronnie. Shy Ronnie urinated in his pants.] [Camera cuts to one of the school kids pointing and laughing at Shy Ronnie.]

Shy Ronnie: AHA!

Rihanna: Oh Boy!

[Camera cuts to one of the school kids pointing and laughing at Shy Ronnie.] [Camera cuts back to Rihanna]

Rihanna: Shoulda just paid Kanye. Bye Shy Ronnie. Bye-Bye

[Rihanna leaves the class room. Hip Hop beat stops]

Shy Ronnie: AHA!

[Hip Hop beats starts again]

Shy Ronnie: Names Shy Ronnie and I running this ish!! You know i say stay strappin’ cause life is a Bitch!

[Rihanna comes back into the room] [Ronnie starts to mumble again in a low tone]

Rihanna: Hey! I forgot my purse.. Bye, bye again.

[Rihanna walks out of the class room with her purse] [Hip Hop beat stops playing]

Shy Ronnie: And I don’t need no beat, I keep a-rockin’ a’cappella, and you should hang with me, because my name is Shy Ronnie.

[Fade]

Submitted by: Jubei “Guy” Kibagami

SNL Transcripts

Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. - LinkedIn

avatar
  Subscribe  
Notify of