Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 35: Episode 13
January 30th, 2010
Michael Patrick O’Brien
State of the Union 2010Summary: President Barack Obama (Fred Armisen) enjoys standing ovations from his fellow Democrats while delivering his State of the Union Address.
Recurring Characters: President Barack Obama, Joseph Biden, Nancy Pelosi.
Jon Hamm’s MonologueSummary: Jon Hamm’s pre-“Mad Men” filmography featured his Don Draper character on a teen comedy, QVC, and “Def Comedy Jam”.
1920’s PartySummary: In 1928 New York City, Lilia (Kristen Wiig) tries to hold herself back from singing at her own birthday party.
An SNL Digital ShortSummary: A homeless Indian (Fred Armisen) puts “The Curse” of Sergio (Jon Hamm) upon a businessman (Andy Samberg) who carelessly steps on his sacred talisman.
New SenatorSummary: Sen. Harry Reid (Will Forte) tries to outline a serious political strategy while Barbara Boxer (Nasim Pedrad), Nancy Pelosi (Kristen Wiig), Barney Frank (Fred Armisen), and Robert Byrd (Bill Hader) fantasize about Republican senator Scott Brown (Jon Hamm).
Recurring Characters: Harry Reid, Nancy Pelosi, Barbara Boxer, Barney Frank, Robert Byrd.
Michael Buble performs “Haven’t Met You Yet”
Weekend Update with Seth MeyersSummary: Sonia Sotomayor (Nasim Pedrad). Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi (Bobby Moynihan).
Recurring Characters: Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi, Mike “The Situation”.
Game Time with Randy and GregSummary: Randy Dukes (Kenan Thompson) insists that co-host Greg (Bill Hader) is not an alien, even as he spawns multiple Greg clones (Jason Sudeikis, Will Forte, Bryan Tucker, Michael Patrick O’Brien).
Recurring Characters: Randy Dukes, Greg.
Hamm & BubleSummary: Jon Hamm has forced Michael Buble to mispronounce his own name and partner with him in a vanity ham and champagne restaurant venture.
Closet OrganizerSummary: Throw all of your loose closet items at the Closet Organizer guy (Will Forte) and he’ll keep your closet straight for you.
StenographerSummary: Stenopgrapher Linda Naig (Fred Armisen) insists on being disruptive and looking for her crackers in the middle of an important trial.
Michael Buble and Sharon Jones perform “Baby (You’ve Got What It Takes)”
BarSummary: Resdin Bonure (Jon Hamm) meets the Closet Organizer guy, Tarkey Fensington (Will Forte) in a bar.
American EnterpriseSummary: William Barnes (Bill Hader) and G. Clifford Noble (Jon Hamm) decide to start a business so that homeless people will have a place to go to the bathroom.
Dress Rehearsal Cuts
Who’s the Host?Summary: Game show contestants must guess who the host is in order to win big prizes.
Mel Gibson TrailerSummary: Coming soon: Another generic Mel Gibson film!
Apple iPadSummary: Steve Jobs (Fred Armisen) introduces a new iPad feature that lets users e-mail animal sounds to one another.