Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 35: Episode 15
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Air Date:
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February 27th, 2010
Jennifer Lopez
Jennifer Lopez
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We Are the World IIISummary: Quincy Jones (Kenan Thompson) makes the mistake of organizing “We Are the World 3” to explain the first half-assed remake of “We Are the World” that followed the Haiti earthquake.
Recurring Characters: Willie Nelson, David Crosby, Eddie Vedder.
Transcript
Montage
Jennifer Lopez’s MonologueSummary: Jennifer Lopez announces that she’s changed her image, which is bad news for an ex-member of her entourage (Kenan Thompson) and a pair of drag queen fans (Jason Sudeikis, Bill Hader).
Transcript
Gyne-Lotrimin Ladies’ World Cup of Curling 1987Summary: Commentators Pete Twinkle (Jason Sudeikis) and Greg Stink (Will Forte) keep the Gyne-Lotrimin sponsorship flowing amid confusion regarding curling match between Helga Birkenstock (Kristen Wiig) and Maria Shakira Prinze, Jr. (Jennifer Lopez).
Recurring Characters: Pete Twinkle, Greg Stink.
An SNL Digital ShortSummary: A visual display of the various “Flags of the World”.
Transcript
Hollywood DishSummary: Entertainment hosts Brady Trunk (Bill Hader) and Anastasia Sticks (Kristen Wiig) feign interest while interviewing Jennifer Lopez.
Recurring Characters: Brady Trunk, Anastasia Sticks.
Transcript
Telemundo Olympics CoverageSummary: Telemundo news anchors (Jennifer Lopez, Fred Armisen) are forced to cover the Winter Olympics, even though they can’t comprehend the merit in cold weather sports performances.
Transcript
Undercover Celebrity BossSummary:
Recurring Characters: Martha Stewart.
Transcript
Jennifer Lopez performs “Pieces”
Weekend Update with Seth MeyersSummary: Bobby Moynihan, Gov. David Paterson (Fred Armisen).
Recurring Characters: Gov. David Paterson.
Besos Y LagrimasSummary: A strange love triangle between Senor Gomez (Fred Armisen), Josefina (Jennifer Lopez), and Madelena (Kristen Wiig).
Transcript
Eternal Spark of LoveSummary: Narrator (Kenan Thompson) monitors a budding romance between office workers Sean (Jason Sudeikis) and Michelle (Jennifer Lopez).
Recurring Characters: Narrator.
Transcript
Jennifer Lopez performs “Starting Over”
Smash MouthSummary: Cecilia (Nasim Pedrad) can’t sleep because the band Smash Mouth keeps performing in her room.
Transcript
Car Horns and MoreSummary: Tina Tina Chaneuse (Jenny Slate) and cousin Kiki Dee Cheneuse (Jennifer Lopez) display a variety of talking car horns.
Recurring Characters: Tina Tina Cheneuse.
Transcript
Closet OrganizerSummary: Throw all of your loose closet items at the Closet Organizer guy (Will Forte) and he’ll keep your closet straight for you.
Note: Repeat from 09m.
GoodnightsTranscript
Dress Rehearsal Cuts
RileySummary: Riley (Fred Armisen) calls more people a bitch.
Step ClassSummary: Step class instructor (Jennifer Lopez) turns into a werewolf when the full moon hits.
AnacondaSummary: While on a date, Jennifer Lopez runs into a former “Anaconda” co-star (Andy Samberg), who’s now a waiter and has a script he wants her to look at.
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