SNL Transcripts: Jennifer Lopez: 02/27/10

 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 35: Episode 15


]]>

Air Date:

Host:

Musical Guest:

Special Guests:

Cameos:

Bit Players:

February 27th, 2010

Jennifer Lopez

Jennifer Lopez

None

None

None


We Are the World IIISummary: Quincy Jones (Kenan Thompson) makes the mistake of organizing “We Are the World 3” to explain the first half-assed remake of “We Are the World” that followed the Haiti earthquake.

Recurring Characters: Willie Nelson, David Crosby, Eddie Vedder.

Transcript

Montage

Jennifer Lopez’s MonologueSummary: Jennifer Lopez announces that she’s changed her image, which is bad news for an ex-member of her entourage (Kenan Thompson) and a pair of drag queen fans (Jason Sudeikis, Bill Hader).

Transcript

Gyne-Lotrimin Ladies’ World Cup of Curling 1987Summary: Commentators Pete Twinkle (Jason Sudeikis) and Greg Stink (Will Forte) keep the Gyne-Lotrimin sponsorship flowing amid confusion regarding curling match between Helga Birkenstock (Kristen Wiig) and Maria Shakira Prinze, Jr. (Jennifer Lopez).

Recurring Characters: Pete Twinkle, Greg Stink.

An SNL Digital ShortSummary: A visual display of the various “Flags of the World”.

Transcript

Hollywood DishSummary: Entertainment hosts Brady Trunk (Bill Hader) and Anastasia Sticks (Kristen Wiig) feign interest while interviewing Jennifer Lopez.

Recurring Characters: Brady Trunk, Anastasia Sticks.

Transcript

Telemundo Olympics CoverageSummary: Telemundo news anchors (Jennifer Lopez, Fred Armisen) are forced to cover the Winter Olympics, even though they can’t comprehend the merit in cold weather sports performances.

Transcript

Undercover Celebrity BossSummary:

Recurring Characters: Martha Stewart.

Transcript

Jennifer Lopez performs “Pieces”

Weekend Update with Seth MeyersSummary: Bobby Moynihan, Gov. David Paterson (Fred Armisen).

Recurring Characters: Gov. David Paterson.

Besos Y LagrimasSummary: A strange love triangle between Senor Gomez (Fred Armisen), Josefina (Jennifer Lopez), and Madelena (Kristen Wiig).

Transcript

Eternal Spark of LoveSummary: Narrator (Kenan Thompson) monitors a budding romance between office workers Sean (Jason Sudeikis) and Michelle (Jennifer Lopez).

Recurring Characters: Narrator.

Transcript

Jennifer Lopez performs “Starting Over”

Smash MouthSummary: Cecilia (Nasim Pedrad) can’t sleep because the band Smash Mouth keeps performing in her room.

Transcript

Car Horns and MoreSummary: Tina Tina Chaneuse (Jenny Slate) and cousin Kiki Dee Cheneuse (Jennifer Lopez) display a variety of talking car horns.

Recurring Characters: Tina Tina Cheneuse.

Transcript

Closet OrganizerSummary: Throw all of your loose closet items at the Closet Organizer guy (Will Forte) and he’ll keep your closet straight for you.

Note: Repeat from 09m.

GoodnightsTranscript

Dress Rehearsal Cuts

RileySummary: Riley (Fred Armisen) calls more people a bitch.

Step ClassSummary: Step class instructor (Jennifer Lopez) turns into a werewolf when the full moon hits.

AnacondaSummary: While on a date, Jennifer Lopez runs into a former “Anaconda” co-star (Andy Samberg), who’s now a waiter and has a script he wants her to look at.

SNL Transcripts