Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 35: Episode 16
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Air Date:Host:Musical Guest:Special Guests:Cameos:Bit Players:
March 6th, 2010
Zack Galifianakis
Vampire Weekend
None
Brian Williams
Mehmet Oz
Jack McBrayer
Jane Krakowski
Anthony Anderson
Jeremy Sisto
Paul Rudd
Frank Rich
None
Health Care Reform
Summary: President Barack Obama (Fred Armisen) is determined to pass a Health Care reform bill even if it is unpopular.
Recurring Characters: President Barack Obama, Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid.
Transcript
Montage
Zack Galifianakis’ Monologue
Summary: Zack Galifianakis delivers comic one-liners while playing a soft tune on a piano.
Transcript
Vogelchecks
Summary: The affectionate Vogelcheck Family (Fred Armisen, Kristen Wiig, Bill Hader, Bobby Moynihan) greet one another with open arms and wet, sloppy kisses at Grandpa’s funeral.
Recurring Characters: Mr. Vogelcheck, Mrs. Vogelcheck, Dwayne Vogelcheck.
Transcript
Bidet
Summary: Hotel guests (Zack Galifianakis, Kristen Wiig) are curious about the limits that can be imposed upon their suite’s bidet.
Transcript
Zach Drops By The Set
Summary: Various NBC telecasts are interrupted when Zack Galifianakis appears in the background.
Transcript
TodaySummary: Drunken Kathie Lee Gifford (Kristen Wiig) uses Oscar nominee titles to mock Hoda Kotb (Jenny Slate), while Zack Galifianakis peeks in the window to pursue his obsession with Kotb.
Recurring Characters: Kathie Lee Gifford, Hoda Kotb.
Vampire Weekend performs “Cousins”
Weekend Update with Seth Meyers
Summary: Mo’Nique (Kenan Thompson) practices her Oscar acceptance speech, in order to hold it down to 45 seconds. Will Forte sings a song to commemorate Women’s Herstory Month.
Transcript
What Up With That?
Summary: Diondre Cole (Kenan Thompson) interrupts guests Paul Rudd, Frank Rich, and Lindsey Buckingham (Bill Hader) so he can continue singing his theme song.
Recurring Characters: Diondre Cole, Lindsey Buckingham, Jessica McClure.
Transcript
The Situation RoomSummary: Wolf Blitzer (Jason Sudeikis) delivers the hard news as provided by CNN viewers.
Recurring Characters: Wolf Blitzer, Christine Amanpour.
Vampire Weekend performs “Giving Up The Gun”
Pageant Talk
Summary: Beauty queen’s (Jenny Slate) moment in the sun is ruined by the bickering between her parents (Zach Galafianakis, Kristen Wiig) on their pageant talk show.
Transcript
Goodnights
Transcript
Dress Rehearsal Cuts
Broadview Security
Summary: Homeowner (Nasim Pedrad) is protected no matter what variety of male predator tries to break through her door.
Note: This commercial parody will air in the next episode, hosted by Jude Law.
Bob & StaciaSummary: Mr. and Mrs. Triggs (Bill Hader, Nasim Pedrad) are oblivious to how annoying their adopted children Stacia (Kristen Wiig) and Bob (Zach Galifinakis) are.
Recurring Characters: Mr. Triggs, Mrs. Triggs, Stacia.
HomeworkSummary: As a teenager (Abby Elliott) does her homework, President James A. Garfield (Zach Galifinakis) comes to life.
DatelineSummary: Keith Morrison (Bill Hader) revels even further in the misery of his interview subjects.
Recurring Characters: Keith Morrison.
Dr. Gizmo’s Barrel of FunSummary: Sad that his wife is sick, Dr. Gizmo (Zach Galifinakis) uses a barrelful of props to convey his emotions to a friend (Kenan Thompson).
Lesbian WeddingSummary: Two lesbians (Kristen Wiig, Nasim Pedrad) are interrupted at their wedding when manipulative ex-boyfriend Hamilton (Will Forte) shows up begging for a second chance.
Recurring Characters: Hamilton.
