Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 35: Episode 18
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Air Date:Host:Musical Guest:Special Guests:Cameos:Bit Players:
April 10th, 2010
Tina Fey
Justin Bieber
None
Steve Martin
Mark Sanchez
None
A Message from the President of the United States
Summary: President Barack Obama (Fred Armisen) reads Census questions that seek answers of a too-personal nature to suit his political agenda.
Recurring Characters: President Barack Obama.
Transcript
Montage
Tina Fey’s Monologue
Summary: Tina Fey sings “I’m Every Woman” and introduces the entourage that helps her juggle her many roles as a woman.
Recurring Characters: Chaka Khan.
Transcript
Brownie Husband
Summary: Single woman (Tina Fey) indulges her sweet tooth with a romantic fantasy.
Transcript
MastersSummary: Jim Nantz (Jason Sudeikis) and Nick Faldo (Bill Hader) welcome Tiger Woods back to the Masters Tournament with additional sideline commentary from floozy Ashlyn St. Cloud (Tina Fey).
Recurring Characters: Jim Nantz, Tiger Woods.
Sarah Palin Network
Summary: Sarah Palin’s (Tina Fey) new television network includes low-rent TV-movies of the week and a new action series starring husband Todd (Jason Sudeikis).
Transcript
Lonely Teacher
Summary: Lonely teacher (Tina Fey) indulges in a musical fantasy with twerpy teen student (Justin Bieber).
Justin Bieber performs “Baby”
Weekend Update with Seth Meyers
Summary: Even the Devil (Jason Sudeikis) is offended by latest Catholic Church scandal. Aunt Linda (Kristen Wiig) reviews recent movies. Tina Fey delivers Women’s News.
Recurring Characters: Aunt Linda.
Transcript
Ruff, Rugged and RokerSummary: Al Roker (Kenan Thompson) hosts a hip-hop jam in-between phoning in his weather reports for “The Today Show”.
Recurring Characters: Al Roker, Kim Kardashian.
School DanceSummary: Bedelia (Nasim Pedrad) is best friends with her mom (Tina Fey) and doesn’t wan to interact socially with her peers.
Justin Bieber performs “U Smile”
Tiny HookerSummary: 9-inch hooker Lolene (Tina Fey) wants to save enough money from turning tricks to fly to Paris.
Goodnights
Transcript
Dress Rehearsal Cuts
The ViewSummary: The insipidly gabby talk show hostesses chat about “Dancing With The Stars” with Pamela Anderson (Tina Fey).
Recurring Characters: Whoopi Goldberg, Barbara Walters, Joy Behar, Elizabeth Hasselback, Pamela Anderson.
Date NightSummary: While being interviewed about “Date Night”, mentally-challenged Frondi (Fred Armisen) cautions Tina Fey about “30 Rock”‘s low ratings.
Great Women WritersSummary: Tina Fey discusses the writers who inspired her to follow in their tracks.
Great Women Writers IISummary: Tina Fey discusses more writers who inspired her to follow in their tracks.
The Shake Weight Commercial DVDSummary: Entrepreneur (Bill Hader) advertises a DVD of the Shake Weight commercial for horny male viewers who keep missing it on television.
Note: This commercial parody will air on the episode hosted by Ryan Phillippe.
The Facts of LifeSummary: Teenager’s (Andy Samberg) parents (Will Forte, Tina Fey) educate him about the birds and the bees.
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