Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 35: Episode 19
April 17th, 2010
Larry King LiveSummary: Newly-divorced Larry King (Fred Armisen) discusses the Icelandic volcano eruption with Bjork (Kristen Wiig) and Richard Branson (Bill Hader).
Recurring Characters: Larry King, Bjork, Richard Branson.
Ryan Phillippe’s MonologueSummary: About to co-star in Will Forte’s “MacGruber” movie, Ryan Phillippe is assaulted by SNL’s other recurring characters hoping for a big-screen production.
Recurring Characters: Target Lady, Diondre Cole, Dick in a Box singer.
Broadview SecuritySummary: Homeowner (Nasim Pedrad) is protected no matter what variety of male predator tries to break through her door.
Note: Repeat from: 09q
Today Sponge Women’s Weightlifting Championship 1986Summary: Commentators Pete Twinkle (Jason Sudeikis) and Greg Stink (Will Forte) keep the Today Sponge sponsorship flowing amid confusion regarding curling match between Sue Ferrigno (Kristen Wiig) and Olivia Newton Cougae Mellencamp (Ryan Phillippe).
Recurring Characters: Pete Twinkle, Greg Stink.
Hip Hop KidsSummary: Teenaged hip hop artists ignorantly try to dance their way out of a cave during a bear attack.
An SNL Digital ShortSummary: Kyle (Andy Samberg) shows up everywhere.
Mort Mort Feingold: Accountant to the StarsSummary: Mort Mort Feingold (Andy Samberg) examines his celebrity clients’ taxes.
Recurring Characters: Kate Gosselin, John Edwards, Mel Gibson.
The Shake Weight Commercial DVDSummary: Entrepreneur (Bill Hader) advertises a DVD of the Shake Weight commercial for horny male viewers who keep missing it on television.
Ke$ha performs “Tick Tock”
Weekend Update with Seth MeyersSummary: James Carville (Bill Hader). Father Swim Coat Scoutmaster (Will Forte). Secondhand news (Bobby Moynihan).
Recurring Characters: James Carville.
Song MemoriesSummary: Group of buddies (Jason Sudeikis, Bill Hader, Will Forte, Ryan Phillippe) share stories while listening to “Breakfast at Tiffany’s”.
Recurring Characters: Bar Buddies.
Teen TalkSummary: Aggressive producer Roger Brush (Fred Armisen) fills in when emphatic Dr. Kathy is too ill to do the show.
Recurring Characters: Roger Brush.
Ke$ha performs “Your Love Is My Drug”
I’ve Got ItSummary: Relatives fight over who gets to pay the check.
Underground Rock MinuteSummary: DJ Super Soak (Jason Sudeikis) and Lil Blaster (Nasim Pedrad) present “Magical Mysteries” video by Thrilla Killa Klownz (Bobby Moynihan, Ryan Phillippe).
Recurring Characters: DJ Super Soak, Lil Blaster, Ass Dan.
Dress Rehearsal Cuts
The ViewSummary: The insipidly gabby talk show hostesses chat about “Dancing With The Stars” with judge Bruno Tonioli (Ryan Phillippe).
Recurring Characters: Whoopi Goldberg, Barbara Walters, Joy Behar, Elizabeth Hasselback.
ConcertSummary: A country singer’s (Ryan Phillippe) performance is interrupted by a dancng fan (Kristen Wiig).
Mondo ButtsSummary: Two guys (Andy Samberg, Ryan Phillippe) hosting a show about big butts are attacked by a gorilla that escapes from the zoo.
BabysitterSummary: A little boy named Louis (Nasim Pedrad) has a pillow fight with his babysitter (Ryan Phillippe).
PrenivaSummary: Sally Field (Abby Elliott) promotes the bone loss health solution for middle-aged women who are needlessly scared by their doctors.
Note: This commercial parody will eventually air on the season finale episode hosted by Alec Baldwin.