SNL Transcripts: Gabourey Sidibe: 04/24/10: A Conversation with Gabourey Sidibe


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 35: Episode 20

09t: Gabourey Sidibe / MGMT

A Conversation with Gabourey Sidibe

…..Gabourey Sidibe
Hamilton…..Will Forte
Agent…..Kenan Thompson
Fan…..Nasim Pedrad

[ A sign: “The New York Times presents: A Conversation with Gabourey Sidibe] [Opens on a little hotel conference room. Academy Award Nominee Gabourey Sidibe talks to a small group of people with her agent. “Precious” movie poster]

Gabourey Sidibe: ….and working on “Precious” was one of the most exciting experiences of my life and I’m honored to be a part of it.


Agent: Ok. Let’s open it up to questions.

Fan: Yes. Hi, a lot of the movie is centered around Precious’s desire for a boyfriend. Are you currently dating anybody?

Gabourey Sidibe: No, I’m not. I was in a relationship for a long time but it didn’t work out. So right now I’m just enjoying being single.

Agent: Yes. Anyone else?

Hamilton:[deep voice] Yes. I have a question, my love.

[Hamilton holds a microphone, big tinted sunglasses, his 60’s style blond hairdo]

Gabourey Sidibe: Hamilton, what are you doing here?

Hamilton: I’ve come to ask for your black hand in marriage.

Gabourey Sidibe: Hamilton, this is not the time or the place for this.

Hamilton: If not us, who? If not now, when?

Gabourey Sidibe: Hamilton, I don’t think that you of all people should be quoting RFK.

Hamilton: Oh, it was RFK? I thought it was from “Birth of a Nation”. Well, whatever. You just take me back, my love.

Gabourey Sidibe: Hamilton, you are straight up crazy if you think I would ever go back with you.

Hamilton: Apparently you have forgotten how I used to captive you with my sensual dancing. How I spent long nights tracing passages from Robert Ludlum’s novels into your back with my penis.

Gabourey Sidibe: Hamilton, yes. We had some great times but I’ve moved on. I have a career now.

Hamilton: Well, I offer you the role of a lifetime. The role of my wife. Mrs. Hamilton Whiteman.

Gabourey Sidibe: Hamilton, don’t you get it? I’m a proud African-American woman. I can’t be with a person that thinks the way that you do.

Hamilton: Gabourey, I’m different now. With the changing of the guard in the White House. Or should I say Black House? [Hamilton looks to high five a black man next to him, black guy ignores him] I’ve realized that I must change my antiquated attitude about race relations.

Gabourey Sidibe: I find that hard to believe. Tell me one thing that you’ve done.

Hamilton: I saw your movie.

Gabourey Sidibe: You–, you saw “Precious”?

Hamilton: Yes, my Gab. I went to the local Magic Johnson movie theaters. I looked for a Larry Bird theater but it didn’t exist. Full disclosure. I was wearing riot gear and carrying my bayonet cane.

Gabourey Sidibe: Oh Hamilton, I’m so flattered. Tell me you liked the movie.

Hamilton: The black audience was talking to the screen 90% of it. But what I saw, I liked. What I saw, I liked.

Gabourey Sidibe: Hamilton, you don’t know how much that means to me. And I’m sorry that those people talked.

Hamilton: Don’t you call them “those people”.

Gabourey Sidibe: Oh, Ham. You really have changed.

Hamilton: Enough for you to take me back? Take me back.

Gabourey Sidibe: I’ll take you back. [with lust] And I’ll take your front.

Agent: You sure you wanna do that?

Gabourey Sidibe: I’ve never been more sure about anything in my life.

Hamilton: [approaches Gabourey at the table singing] Oh, I am with you, life is a Gabourey, my dear…life is a Gabourey. [kisses Gabourey hand] I love you.

[cheers and applause] [fade]

Submitted by: Waldo San Miguel

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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