SNL Transcripts: Alec Baldwin: 05/15/10: Preniva

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 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 35: Episode 22










09v: Alec Baldwin / Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers

Preniva

Sally Field…..Abby Elliott

[ open on Sally Field seated on couch ]

Sally Field: Hi, I’m Sally Field. I want to talk to you about a problem that lots of women face: Bone Loss. Even if you don’t have it now, no matter what age you are, ALL women are inherently weak and very fragile!

[ Sally stands next to a skeleton ]

Sally Field: You get this ONE body! And this ONE life! You have to take care of this now.

[ she rests her hand on the skeleton’s shoulder, causing it to collapse and shatter at her feet ]

Sally Field: Are ya’ bummed yet? That’s why there’s Preniva. There doesn’t have to be anything wrong with you to take Preniva. You just have to be scared — which you should be.

Preniva makes sure you’ll be able to keep doing your favorite, everyday, low-impact activities. Like doing yoga! Spritzing your plant! Fanning out your magazines! Swallowing pills for other things your doctor scared you with! And having bangs! [ she smiles at her demonstration ]

Preniva won’t solve all your problems — you’ll always be a woman.

[ cut to Sally seated next to a stacked Jenga tower ]

Sally Field: This is the average woman’s spine. And this is your spine without Preniva: [ she pulls a peg from the bottom, causing the tower to topple ] I’m not fucking around, you guys!

[ cut to product logo ]

Announcer: Preniva. Your weakness is our strength.

[ fade ]

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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