SNL Transcripts: Weekend Update Thursday III: 10/01/09

 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 35: Bonus Episode 3

Air Date:


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October 1st, 2009




Maya Rudolph


Weekend Update with Seth MeyersSummary: Whoopi Goldberg (Kenan Thompson) and Joy Behar (Fred Armisen) come to Roman Polanski’s defense regarding his ages-old statutory rape charges. Captain Roger Baines (Jason Sudeikis) is bitter that fellow pilot Chesley “Sully” Sullenberger is back at work since he became a hero for crash-landing in the Hudson River. Suze Orman (Kristen Wiig) provides meaningless money-saving tips for these hard economic times. Chicago-born actors John Malkovich (Bill Hader) and Dennis Franz (Darrell Hammond) comment on President Obama’s efforts to have the 2016 Summer Games hosted in their home town. Live via satellite in Copenhagen, Oprah Winfrey (Maya Rudolph) is excited to be near Obama. Political analysts Daryl Hall (Will Forte) and John Oates (Fred Armsen) sing a song about Health Care.

Recurring Characters: Whoopi Goldberg, Joy Behar, Suze Orman, John Malkovich, Daryl Hall, John Oates.

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