SNL Transcripts: Amy Poehler: 09/25/10



 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 36: Episode 1


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Air Date:

Host:

Musical Guest:

Special Guests:

Cameos:













Bit Players:

Guest Writer:

September 25th, 2010

Amy Poehler

Katy Perry

None

Justin Timberlake

Rachel Dratch

Tina Fey

Jimmy Fallon

Maya Rudolph

Gov. David Paterson

Peter Sarsgaard

None

Emily Spivey

RNC HeadquartersSummary: At the Republican National Committee Headquarters, Christine O’Donnell (Kristen Wiig) rattles off more problematic disgressions from her past.

Transcript

Montage

Amy Poehler’s MonologueSummary: Amy Poehler announces that it’s a dream come true to host “SNL”, then relives her recurring stress dream of being late for the show amid a slew of gratutious celebrity cameos.

Transcript

Bronx Beat with Betty & JodiSummary: Betty Caruso (Amy Poehler) and Jodi Deitz (Maya Rudolph) chatter with a provocatively dressed teenager (Katy Perry) who volunteers as a children’s story reader at the local library.

Recurring Characters: Betty Caruso, Jodi Deitz.

BosleySummary: Spokesperson (Jason Sudeikis) explains the hair loss restoration system that uses pubic hair as a baldness solution.

Maternity MattersSummary: Aggressive producer Roger Brush (Fred Armisen) fills in when the regular female host is too ill to do the show.

Recurring Characters: Roger Brush.

Transcript

Mosque at Ground ZeroSummary: Pitchman (Bill Hader) lauds the whirlwind of anti-Democratic activity taking place at the Mosque at Ground Zero.

Transcript

Katy Perry performs “California Gurls”

Weekend Update with Seth MeyersSummary: Seth Meyers and Amy Poehler ask “Really!?!” in regards to Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. Although Will Smith (Jay Pharoah) didn’t star in a summer blockbuster this year, he’s thrilled that his spawn has been active on-screen. The real Gov. David Paterson confronts Fred Armisen about the achievements he’s made as a blind governor.

Recurring Characters: Will Smith, Gov. David Paterson.

The Lean YearsSummary: Amy Poehler stars in Showtime’s latest series, which focuses on Amber, a foul-mouthed girl whose private secret is that she only has one leg.

Recurring Characters: Amber.

An SNL Digital ShortSummary: At the Academy Awards, Katy Perry sings the title track for the film “Boogerman”, starring Peter Sarsgaard.

Ladies Who LunchSummary: Sylvia (Kristen Wiig) is jealous that Trish’s (Amy Poehler) tiny hats are consistently tinier than her tiny hats.

Transcript

Katy Perry performs “Teenage Dream”

Actor II ActorSummary: Acting enthusiast Andy Samberg ponders when thespian Justin Timberlake will put his craft aside and return to making music.

Transcript

The Even More ExpendablesSummary: Sequels to “The Expendables” feature an ever-expanding collection of quasi-celebrities together in bulk action flicks.

Recurring Characters: Kim Jong Il, Chris Tucker, Rod Blagojevich, Steven Seagal, Tracy Chapman, Brigitte Nielsen.

GoodnightsTranscript

Dress Rehearsal Cuts

A Message From Hillary ClintonSummary: Secretary of State Hillary Clinton (Amy Poehler) addresses the public about President Obama’s ratings.

Recurring Characters: Hillary Clinton.

Pepto Bismol IceSummary: Summary: The upset stomach reliever that won’t interrupt a night of wreckless drinking and partying.

Note: This filmed piece will air on next week’s episode hosted by Bryan Cranston.

Family FeudSummary: New host Steve Harvey (Kenan Thompson) can’t seem to pronounce any of the answers.

Recurring Characters: Steve Harvey.

LobotomySummary: After his lobotomy, a patient (Andy Samberg) can’t comprehend scientists’ (Bill Hader, Amy Poehler) scientific terms.

American America: I HippieSummary: In a cartoon by Dana Carvey, a hippie talks about the good old days.

SNL Transcripts

Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. - LinkedIn

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