Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 36: Episode 2
10b: Bryan Cranston / Kanye West
Pepto-Bismol Ice
Girl…..Nasim Pedrad
Guy…..Andy Samberg
Bartender…..Taran Killam
Girl V/O: I was at the club with some friends. That’s when it happened: [ she clutches her stomach ] This burning sensation.
Voiceover: In-di-ges-tionnnn!
Girl V/O: I was ready to go home. [ Bartender brings a tray toward her ] Then I heard about Pepto-Bismol Ice. [ the thick pink beverage is poured into a glass ] The only antacid that’s also a malt licquor.
Voiceover: Pep-to-Bis-mol Icccccce!
[ diagram of human figure as pink liquid pours down the throat into the stomach, then bounces back toward the brain ]Girl V/O: Just one sip, and you’ll taste the relief. Pepto-Bismol Ice gives you relief from your stomach pain and fills your brain with a low-grade alcohol.
[ show girl dancing in the club with a bottle of Pepto-Bismol Ice in her hand ] [ SUPER: “Enjoy Pepto Bismol Ice responsibly.” ]Girl V/O: Pepto-Bismol ice got me off the toilet… and onto the dance floor!
[ a guy spots her dancing across the floor and crosses toward her ]Girl V/O: Plus, it’s got that signature pink color that guys love.
[ two bottles of Pepto-Bismol Ice are placed on the counter ]Voiceover: Pep-to-Bis-mol Icccccce!
[ the girl picks up one bottle to swig, as the guy steps forward and picks up the other bottle and swigs ]Girl: [ shouting ] It kills the bacteria that causes diarrhea!
Guy: [ shouting ] Nice!
[ they begin to make out ] [ cut to Bartender pouring a fresh glass of Pepto-Bismol Ice ]Girl V/O: Pepto-Bismol Ice. Keep the party out of your pants.
[ fade ]