SNL Transcripts: Bryan Cranston: 10/02/10: Pepto-Bismol Ice


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 36: Episode 2

10b: Bryan Cranston / Kanye West

Pepto-Bismol Ice

Girl…..Nasim Pedrad
Guy…..Andy Samberg
Bartender…..Taran Killam

[ open on club scene, Girl sitting at the bar ]

Girl V/O: I was at the club with some friends. That’s when it happened: [ she clutches her stomach ] This burning sensation.

Voiceover: In-di-ges-tionnnn!

Girl V/O: I was ready to go home. [ Bartender brings a tray toward her ] Then I heard about Pepto-Bismol Ice. [ the thick pink beverage is poured into a glass ] The only antacid that’s also a malt licquor.

Voiceover: Pep-to-Bis-mol Icccccce!

[ diagram of human figure as pink liquid pours down the throat into the stomach, then bounces back toward the brain ]

Girl V/O: Just one sip, and you’ll taste the relief. Pepto-Bismol Ice gives you relief from your stomach pain and fills your brain with a low-grade alcohol.

[ show girl dancing in the club with a bottle of Pepto-Bismol Ice in her hand ] [ SUPER: “Enjoy Pepto Bismol Ice responsibly.” ]

Girl V/O: Pepto-Bismol ice got me off the toilet… and onto the dance floor!

[ a guy spots her dancing across the floor and crosses toward her ]

Girl V/O: Plus, it’s got that signature pink color that guys love.

[ two bottles of Pepto-Bismol Ice are placed on the counter ]

Voiceover: Pep-to-Bis-mol Icccccce!

[ the girl picks up one bottle to swig, as the guy steps forward and picks up the other bottle and swigs ]

Girl: [ shouting ] It kills the bacteria that causes diarrhea!

Guy: [ shouting ] Nice!

[ they begin to make out ] [ cut to Bartender pouring a fresh glass of Pepto-Bismol Ice ]

Girl V/O: Pepto-Bismol Ice. Keep the party out of your pants.

[ fade ]

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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