Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 36: Episode 2
[Opens with a black businessman entering a hotel room. He puts his bags down, loosens his tie, he’s ready to go to bed in his pajamas]
Announcer: Traveling can be tough. Especially if you find it difficult to sleep in a strange room. You’ve tried white noise machines, but they just don’t work.[Black businessman tosses and turns in his bed, unable to sleep]
Announcer: That’s why Sharper Image has created the I-Sleep Pro.[Black businessman holds the little machine up]
Announcer: The I-Sleep Pro not only has a setting for White Noise… but also one for Black Noise.
Announcer: Now you have the soothing sounds you’re used to. Sounds like muffled Tyler Perry sitcoms.[ Caption: “Muffled Tyler Perry Sitcoms.” ] [Black businessman is fast asleep with the muffled sounds] [2:23 a.m.]
Voice from Sitcom: [muffled] What if he comes in?! What if he comes in?!
Voice: [muffled] I wish tha’ fool wou’ come in!
Announcer: An old lady complaining about foot problems through the wall.[ Caption: “Old Lady Complaining About Foot Problems.” ]
Voice: [muffled] Lord Jesus! I can’t walk on it no mo’!
Announcer: Domestic arguments.[ Caption: “Domestic arguments.” ]
Female Voice: [muffled] I told ya’! I don’t know him!
Male Voice: [muffled] You lie!
Announcer: And the movie “Friday”.
Voice of Ice Cube: [muffled] You think he playin’ wit’ you?!
Voice of Chris Tucker: [muffled] Man, that fool ain’t goin’ do nothin’!
Announcer: So you can get the rest you need. And get ready to take on the world.[Black businessman is all relaxed in his business suit getting ready to leave his hotel room. He smiles.]
Announcer: I-Sleep-Pro. Get the sleep you need.[I-Sleep-Pro machine next to a wonderful breakfast plate. 7:00 a.m.] [ Caption: I-Sleep Pro logo. ] [fade] [cheers and applause]
Submitted by: Waldo San Miguel