SNL Transcripts: Bryan Cranston: 10/02/10: I-Sleep Pro

 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 36: Episode 2

10b: Bryan Cranston / Kanye West

I-Sleep Pro

Businessman…..Kenan Thompson

[Opens with a black businessman entering a hotel room. He puts his bags down, loosens his tie, he’s ready to go to bed in his pajamas]

Announcer: Traveling can be tough. Especially if you find it difficult to sleep in a strange room. You’ve tried white noise machines, but they just don’t work.

[Black businessman tosses and turns in his bed, unable to sleep]

Announcer: That’s why Sharper Image has created the I-Sleep Pro.

[Black businessman holds the little machine up]

Announcer: The I-Sleep Pro not only has a setting for White Noise… but also one for Black Noise.

[Black businessman sets dial on the I-Sleep Pro machine to Black Noise and goes to bed]

Announcer: Now you have the soothing sounds you’re used to. Sounds like muffled Tyler Perry sitcoms.

[ Caption: “Muffled Tyler Perry Sitcoms.” ] [Black businessman is fast asleep with the muffled sounds] [2:23 a.m.]

Voice from Sitcom: [muffled] What if he comes in?! What if he comes in?!

Voice: [muffled] I wish tha’ fool wou’ come in!

Announcer: An old lady complaining about foot problems through the wall.

[ Caption: “Old Lady Complaining About Foot Problems.” ]

Voice: [muffled] Lord Jesus! I can’t walk on it no mo’!

Announcer: Bass.

[ Caption: “Bass.” ] [4:52 a.m.] [Sounds of muffled rap heavy bass. Thump, thump, thump. Black businessman sleeps like a baby]

Announcer: Domestic arguments.

[ Caption: “Domestic arguments.” ]

Female Voice: [muffled] I told ya’! I don’t know him!

Male Voice: [muffled] You lie!

Announcer: And the movie “Friday”.

Voice of Ice Cube: [muffled] You think he playin’ wit’ you?!

Voice of Chris Tucker: [muffled] Man, that fool ain’t goin’ do nothin’!

Announcer: So you can get the rest you need. And get ready to take on the world.

[Black businessman is all relaxed in his business suit getting ready to leave his hotel room. He smiles.]

Announcer: I-Sleep-Pro. Get the sleep you need.

[I-Sleep-Pro machine next to a wonderful breakfast plate. 7:00 a.m.] [ Caption: I-Sleep Pro logo. ] [fade] [cheers and applause]

Submitted by: Waldo San Miguel

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