SNL Transcripts: Jane Lynch: 10/09/10: Sunday Night Football


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 36: Episode 3

10c: Jane Lynch / Bruno Mars

Sunday Night Football

Faith Hill…..Jane Lynch
Al Michaels…..Jason Sudeikis
Cris Collinsworth…..Bill Hader

Al Michaels: Tonight the Philadelphia Eagles and the San Francisco 49ers in an east coast – west coast battle. I’m Al Michaels.

Cris Collinsworth: And I’m Cris Collinsworth, and this is Sunday Night Football.

[ Opening sequence for Sunday Night Football plays. ]

V/0: All right, listen up America. It’s Sunday night, and that means football night right here. Heh heh heh. So, let’s hit it!

Faith Hill: [ singing ] “All right, Sunday night, kickin’ back,
Everybody looking at the quarterback.
San Francisco is the place to be,
‘Cause it’s Sunday Night Football on NBC!”

Al Michaels: Okay we’re coming to you live from beautiful Candlestick Park.

Cris Collinsworth: The Eagles won the coin toss, It’s time for kickoff here on Sunday Night Football.

Faith Hill: [ singing ] “Football, Touchdown, Sunday night,
The tough get rough in a primetime fight.
Al and Cris are the best on TV,
And it’s touchdown time on NBC!”

Cris Collinsworth: Gotta love that new theme song.

Al Michaels: Yep, nothing says football like a woman singing on a field. Oh, I guess we’re going back.

Faith Hill: [ singing ] “Sunday Night Football here’s the score,
Niners comin’ at you and they’re 0-4
Eagles lost a quarterback Michael Vick,
He used to fight dogs but tonight he’s sick.”

Al Michaels: Thank you for that informative and long theme song, but moving on, we…

Cris Collinsworth: Oh… oh…

Faith Hill: [ singing ] “NBC, NFL, NBC,
Did you know the Eagles have a rich history?
Founded in the 30s by Commissioner Bell,
And a local businessman named Ludlow Wray.”

[ Al and Cris stare dumbfounded, song continues. ]

Faith Hill: [ singing ] “Salsa olives sour cream dip,
Spread it on a layer of tortilla chips.
You add some guacamole and some melted cheese,
Your mouth just scored a touchdown here on NBC!”

Cris Collinsworth: That was a nacho recipe.

Faith Hill: [ singing ] “Touchdown, touchdown, touchdown time,
Sunday night and we’re all feeling fine.
There will be touchdowns – it’s a guarantee,
‘Cause the game already started and it’s 14-3!”

Al Michaels: Did she say the game already started?!

Cris Collinsworth: What the hell?!

Faith Hill: [ singing ] “49’ers have 56 active players,
Here they are in no particular order:
Kevin Boss, Jason Hill and Josh Morgan,
53 more to go on NBC!”

Cris Collinsworth: We’ll be right back after this with more theme song on Sunday Night Football.

[ Cue Sunday Night Football logo. ]

[ Fade out ]

Submitted Anonymously

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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