Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 36: Episode 3
Sunday Night Football
Faith Hill…..Jane Lynch
Al Michaels…..Jason Sudeikis
Cris Collinsworth…..Bill Hader
Al Michaels: Tonight the Philadelphia Eagles and the San Francisco 49ers in an east coast – west coast battle. I’m Al Michaels.
Cris Collinsworth: And I’m Cris Collinsworth, and this is Sunday Night Football.
[ Opening sequence for Sunday Night Football plays. ]
V/0: All right, listen up America. It’s Sunday night, and that means football night right here. Heh heh heh. So, let’s hit it!
Faith Hill: [ singing ] “All right, Sunday night, kickin’ back,
Everybody looking at the quarterback.
San Francisco is the place to be,
‘Cause it’s Sunday Night Football on NBC!”
Al Michaels: Okay we’re coming to you live from beautiful Candlestick Park.
Cris Collinsworth: The Eagles won the coin toss, It’s time for kickoff here on Sunday Night Football.
Faith Hill: [ singing ] “Football, Touchdown, Sunday night,
The tough get rough in a primetime fight.
Al and Cris are the best on TV,
And it’s touchdown time on NBC!”
Cris Collinsworth: Gotta love that new theme song.
Al Michaels: Yep, nothing says football like a woman singing on a field. Oh, I guess we’re going back.
Faith Hill: [ singing ] “Sunday Night Football here’s the score,
Niners comin’ at you and they’re 0-4
Eagles lost a quarterback Michael Vick,
He used to fight dogs but tonight he’s sick.”
Al Michaels: Thank you for that informative and long theme song, but moving on, we…
Cris Collinsworth: Oh… oh…
Faith Hill: [ singing ] “NBC, NFL, NBC,
Did you know the Eagles have a rich history?
Founded in the 30s by Commissioner Bell,
And a local businessman named Ludlow Wray.”
[ Al and Cris stare dumbfounded, song continues. ]
Faith Hill: [ singing ] “Salsa olives sour cream dip,
Spread it on a layer of tortilla chips.
You add some guacamole and some melted cheese,
Your mouth just scored a touchdown here on NBC!”
Cris Collinsworth: That was a nacho recipe.
Faith Hill: [ singing ] “Touchdown, touchdown, touchdown time,
Sunday night and we’re all feeling fine.
There will be touchdowns – it’s a guarantee,
‘Cause the game already started and it’s 14-3!”
Al Michaels: Did she say the game already started?!
Cris Collinsworth: What the hell?!
Faith Hill: [ singing ] “49’ers have 56 active players,
Here they are in no particular order:
Kevin Boss, Jason Hill and Josh Morgan,
53 more to go on NBC!”
Cris Collinsworth: We’ll be right back after this with more theme song on Sunday Night Football.
[ Cue Sunday Night Football logo. ]
[ Fade out ]