SNL Transcripts: Scarlett Johansson: 11/13/10


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 36: Episode 6

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Air Date:


Musical Guest:

Special Guests:


Bit Players:

November 13th, 2010

Scarlett Johansson

Arcade Fire




China Press ConferenceSummary: During press conference in China, President Barack Obama (Fred Armisen) manages to once again upset Chinese leader Hu Jintao (Bill Hader) regarding money owed to his country.

Recurring Characters: President Barack Obama, Hu Jintao.


Scarlett Johansson’s MonologueSummary: Scarlett Johansson, Dina Lohan (Kristen Wiig), and Ke$ha (Abby Elliott) sing “Class” from “Chicago” to emphasize how people in the entertainment industry no longer display any level of class.

M-TVSummary: Although they no longer play music, M-TV has a smattering of reality-based teen pregnancy programs to choose from.

Recurring Characters: Snooki.


Millionaire MatchmakerSummary: Patty Stanger (Scarlett Johansson) has no interest in findingin a suitable match for mousy lawyer Candace (Vanessa Bayer).

The Manuel Ortiz ShowSummary: Manuel Ortiz (Fred Armisen) walks his endless line of guests through their problems with endless Spanish dancing, as long as the music plays at the correct speed.

Recurring Characters: Manuel Ortiz.

UnstoppableSummary: Denzel Washington (Jay Pharoah) cracks one-liners as he attempts to stop a speeding train in a new action thriller.

Recurring Characters: Denzel Washington.


Hollywood DishSummary: Entertainment hosts Brady Trunk (Bill Hader) and Anastasia Sticks (Kristen Wiig) feign interest while interviewing Scarlett Johansson.

Recurring Characters: Brady Trunk, Anastasia Sticks.

Arcade Fire performs “We Used To Wait”

Weekend Update with Seth MeyersSummary: Former President George W. Bush (Jason Sudeikis) and rapper Kanye West (Jay Pharoah) have miraculously forged a friendship since the former left office. Chatty Gladys Madden (Vanessa Bayer) relates her harrowing experience during a cruise liner unrelated its onboard fire, as bored husband Frank (Fred Armisen) ignores her.

Recurring Characters: George W. Bush.

St. Katherine’s Middle SchoolSummary: Marvin’s (Kenan Thompson) optimism-induced friends repeatedly force him to stand up and fall despite his broken knee.

An SNL Digital ShortSummary: Student (Andy Samberg) raps “What Was That?” to UN Assembly in regards to head-scratching events from American history.

A Treat from Paula Deen’s KitchenSummary: Paula Deen (Kristen Wiig) loves to cook fattening foods with butter and oil, but is forced to plug eight-ply paper towels for the benefit of her health-conscious viewers.


Arcade Fire performs “Sprawl II: Mountains Beyond Mountains”

Stars of TomorrowSummary: Competing child stars Laura Parsons (Vanessa Bayer) and Amanda Starr (Scarlett Johansson) perform monologues from films intended for an older audience.

Mike’s BusteriaSummary: Buy a ceramic bust from Mike (Fred Armisen) to add that extra touch of class to your mundane daily activities.

Recurring Characters: Mike, Lexie.


Dress Rehearsal Cuts

60 MinutesSummary: Reporter (Jason Sudeikis) is giddy with excitement when he gets to interview President Barack Obama (Fred Armisen).

Recurring Characters: President Barack Obama.

What’s That NameSummary: Game show contestants are challenged to recall the name of their buildings’ doormen.

The MilkmaidSummary: A group of guys get their kicks from watching a sexy milkmaid (Scarlett Johansson) milk a cow.

Camel TameSummary: Businesswomen (Kristen Wiig, Nasim Pedrad) avoid embarrassing camel toe by wearing a padded bulge in their tight clothing.

Note: This ad parody will air on next week’s episode.

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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