Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 36: Episode 6
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Air Date:Host:Musical Guest:Special Guests:Cameos:Bit Players:
November 13th, 2010
Scarlett Johansson
Arcade Fire
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China Press Conference
Summary: During press conference in China, President Barack Obama (Fred Armisen) manages to once again upset Chinese leader Hu Jintao (Bill Hader) regarding money owed to his country.
Recurring Characters: President Barack Obama, Hu Jintao.
Montage
Scarlett Johansson’s Monologue
Summary: Scarlett Johansson, Dina Lohan (Kristen Wiig), and Ke$ha (Abby Elliott) sing “Class” from “Chicago” to emphasize how people in the entertainment industry no longer display any level of class.
M-TV
Summary: Although they no longer play music, M-TV has a smattering of reality-based teen pregnancy programs to choose from.
Recurring Characters: Snooki.
Transcript
Millionaire Matchmaker
Summary: Patty Stanger (Scarlett Johansson) has no interest in findingin a suitable match for mousy lawyer Candace (Vanessa Bayer).
The Manuel Ortiz Show
Summary: Manuel Ortiz (Fred Armisen) walks his endless line of guests through their problems with endless Spanish dancing, as long as the music plays at the correct speed.
Recurring Characters: Manuel Ortiz.
Unstoppable
Summary: Denzel Washington (Jay Pharoah) cracks one-liners as he attempts to stop a speeding train in a new action thriller.
Recurring Characters: Denzel Washington.
Transcript
Hollywood Dish
Summary: Entertainment hosts Brady Trunk (Bill Hader) and Anastasia Sticks (Kristen Wiig) feign interest while interviewing Scarlett Johansson.
Recurring Characters: Brady Trunk, Anastasia Sticks.
Arcade Fire performs “We Used To Wait”
Weekend Update with Seth Meyers
Summary: Former President George W. Bush (Jason Sudeikis) and rapper Kanye West (Jay Pharoah) have miraculously forged a friendship since the former left office. Chatty Gladys Madden (Vanessa Bayer) relates her harrowing experience during a cruise liner unrelated its onboard fire, as bored husband Frank (Fred Armisen) ignores her.
Recurring Characters: George W. Bush.
St. Katherine’s Middle School
Summary: Marvin’s (Kenan Thompson) optimism-induced friends repeatedly force him to stand up and fall despite his broken knee.
An SNL Digital Short
Summary: Student (Andy Samberg) raps “What Was That?” to UN Assembly in regards to head-scratching events from American history.
A Treat from Paula Deen’s Kitchen
Summary: Paula Deen (Kristen Wiig) loves to cook fattening foods with butter and oil, but is forced to plug eight-ply paper towels for the benefit of her health-conscious viewers.
Transcript
Arcade Fire performs “Sprawl II: Mountains Beyond Mountains”
Stars of Tomorrow
Summary: Competing child stars Laura Parsons (Vanessa Bayer) and Amanda Starr (Scarlett Johansson) perform monologues from films intended for an older audience.
Mike’s Busteria
Summary: Buy a ceramic bust from Mike (Fred Armisen) to add that extra touch of class to your mundane daily activities.
Recurring Characters: Mike, Lexie.
Goodnights
Transcript
Dress Rehearsal Cuts
60 MinutesSummary: Reporter (Jason Sudeikis) is giddy with excitement when he gets to interview President Barack Obama (Fred Armisen).
Recurring Characters: President Barack Obama.
What’s That NameSummary: Game show contestants are challenged to recall the name of their buildings’ doormen.
The MilkmaidSummary: A group of guys get their kicks from watching a sexy milkmaid (Scarlett Johansson) milk a cow.
Camel Tame
Summary: Businesswomen (Kristen Wiig, Nasim Pedrad) avoid embarrassing camel toe by wearing a padded bulge in their tight clothing.
Note: This ad parody will air on next week’s episode.
