SNL Transcripts: Scarlett Johansson: 11/13/10: M-TV


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 36: Episode 6

10f: Scarlett Johansson / Arcade Fire


Candace…..Scarlett Johansson
Mario Lopez…..Andy Samberg
Nick Cannon…..Jay Pharoah
Teenage Girl…..Vanessa Bayer
Snooki…..Bobby Moynihan

[ M-TV logo ]

Announcer: From M-TV — the network that brought you “16 And Pregnant” and “Teen Mom” — comes a groundbreaking new series that explores how it feels to be young and pregnant… and FABULOUS!

[ reveal new show logo ]

Announcer: It’s “My Super Sweet 16 And Pregnant”!

[ screen sparkles, then dissolves to Candace dressed fabulously for her birthday even though she’s pregnant and lying on a hospital bed ]

Candace: I’m rich… I’m beautiful… and I’m fully dilated! This is gonna be the BEST party ev-er!

[ camera zooms out to reveal her friends circled around the bed ]

Friends: Whoo-oo-ooooooo!!!

[ close-up of Candace breathing in and out ]

Friends: Go, Candace!! Go, Candace!! Go, Candace!! Go, Candace!!…

Announcer: And it gets even MORE pregnant! Get ready for “America’s Best Pregnant Dance Crew”! Hosted by America’s favorite D.I.L.F.: Mario Lopez!

[ cut to Mario Lopez on set ]

Mario Lopez: Albuquerque, New Mexico! Give it up for… Stretch Markz!

[ four pregnant teenagers do a hip-hop dance and bounce on their feet ]

Announcer: And there’s so much more! Nick Cannon represents “Wild’n Out”, with special guest star: A BABY!!

[ Nick Cannon and his crew hurl insults at a baby ]

Nick Cannon: Hey, baby! You think you all that?! Well, your stroller rolled past me! I smelled your diaper, son — that was NASTY! [ he and his crew whoop it up ]

Announcer: Plus: If you liked “Cribs”, then you’ll love… “Cribs”!

[ cut to teenage girl standing in front of a baby crib ]

Teenage Girl: Here it is..! [ she looks unsteadily at the camera ]

Announcer: And from the makers of “Jersey Shore”, it’s “I’m Snooki And Pregnant”!

[ cut to a pregnant Snooki surrounded by guidos in a bar ]

Snooki: [ laughing her ass off ] Dere’s a BABY in here!!! [ she laughs, then downs a shot ] [ cut to M-TV logo ]

Announcer: M-TV. Maternity Television.

[ fade ]

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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