SNL Transcripts: Anne Hathaway: 11/20/10: Anne Hathaway’s Monologue


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 36: Episode 7

10g: Anne Hathaway / Florence and the Machine

Anne Hathaway’s Monologue

…..Anne Hathaway
…..Andy Samberg
…..Bobby Moynihan
…..Kenan Thompson
…..Kristen Wiig

Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen — Anne Hathaway!

Anne Hathaway: Thank you SO much! It is SO great to be hosting “SNL” again! Ladies and gentlemen — IT’S THE THANKSGIVING SHOOOOWWW!! [ the audience cheers ] Alright, I am — I am SO excited because my new movie “Love and Other Drugs” opens Wednesday. Uh — [ the audience cheers ] Thank you. This movie, it’s a real departure from the kinds of movies that I’m known for, in that in contains a… substantial amount of nudity. And, uh, I have to say, the Press has been all over it. I mean — well, here I am with my co-star, Jake Gylenhaal, on the cover of this week’s Entertainment Weekly. [ reveal cover ] And… we were also on the cover of Jet. [ reveal cover ] And the children’s magazine Highlights. [ reveal cover ] Aw, that was a FUN shoot!

Um — okay, let me just get this out of the way. Yes. It’s very nervewracking to do nude scenes. But, I believe that, if it’s worth the integrity of the story, an actor should go for it.

[ Andy Samberg enters ]

Andy Samberg: Hi, Anne, sorry to interrupt.

Anne Hathaway: Oh! It’s okay, Andy!

Andy Samberg: Sorry. I have a couple of changes in the Boardroom sketch.

Anne Hathaway: Uh-huh?

Andy Samberg: We’re putting you in a curlier wig, and we’re changing the name of the company to TechnoTech.

Anne Hathaway: Oh. Okay! That’s better! Yeah!

Andy Samberg: Yeah. Oh, and, uh, also — we’re gonna need you to be naked.

Anne Hathaway: Oh. Um… is it important to the scene?

Andy Samberg: [ bluffing ] It is… SO important.

Anne Hathaway: Then, I’ll do it!

Andy Samberg: Thank you.

[ Andy makes an ecstatic face and exits the stage ]

Anne Hathaway: Okay, now where was I? Oh, right, right! Serving the story.

[ Bobby Moynihan rushes on stage ]

Bobby Moynihan: Hey, Anne!

Anne Hathaway: Hey, Bobby!

Bobby Moynihan: Hey, how are you?

Anne Hathaway: What’s up?

Bobby Moynihan: Hey, uh, in the Turkey Family sketch?

Anne Hathaway: Mmm-hmm?

Bobby Moynihan: Uh, we made a few changes. Uh — you’re still gonna have the beak and the wattle, but, uh, other than that, you’re gonna be naked.

Anne Hathaway: [ confused at first, then smiles ] Oh! Like, like, like — [ she laughs ] a turkey that’s had all its feathers plucked! Gosh, that’s hilarious!

Bobby Moynihan: [ humoring her with a loud guffaw ] Yeah! Wait — so, wait — you’ll do it?

Anne Hathaway: Yeah!

Bobby Moynihan: GREAT! [ looks offstage ] Andy! It worked!

[ Bobby rushes offstage to join Andy ]

Anne Hathaway: Everyone is so great here! So, anyway, if the story —

[ Kenan Thompson suddenly appears onstage ]

Kenan Thompson: Heeeey, Anne! In the, uh, Funeral sketch —

Anne Hathaway: Get naked?

Kenan Thompson: Great minds!

[ Kenan exits the stage ]

Anne Hathaway: anyway, “integrity” is probably my favorite word.

[ Kristen Wiig suddenly appears onstage ]

Kristen Wiig: Anne, Anne, Anne, Anne! Oh. Anne. Um… [ pause ]

Anne Hathaway: [ filling the gap ] Hi, Kristen!

Kristen Wiig: Hi. You don’t have to take — to be naked to be taken seriously as an actor.

Anne Hathaway: That’s not why I do it, Kristen. Like — like I said, it’s about the craft, it’s about art, it’s about trust. And I really trust these guys.

[ reveal Kenan, Andy, and Bobby holding up mini-camcorders with their tongues wagging ]

Kristen Wiig: Yeah… you were never gonna get naked, were you?

Anne Hathaway: Nah! I wasn’t. I just lied to make them happy!

Kristen Wiig: [ to the audience ] And that’s what Thanksgiving is all about!

[ Kristen exits the stage ]

Anne Hathaway: It sure is! We have a GREAT show for you tonight. I’m SO excisted to be hosting again! Florence and the Machine is here! So stick around, we’ll be right back!

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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