Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 36: Episode 7
Anne Hathaway’s Monologue
Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen — Anne Hathaway!
Anne Hathaway: Thank you SO much! It is SO great to be hosting “SNL” again! Ladies and gentlemen — IT’S THE THANKSGIVING SHOOOOWWW!! [ the audience cheers ] Alright, I am — I am SO excited because my new movie “Love and Other Drugs” opens Wednesday. Uh — [ the audience cheers ] Thank you. This movie, it’s a real departure from the kinds of movies that I’m known for, in that in contains a… substantial amount of nudity. And, uh, I have to say, the Press has been all over it. I mean — well, here I am with my co-star, Jake Gylenhaal, on the cover of this week’s Entertainment Weekly. [ reveal cover ] And… we were also on the cover of Jet. [ reveal cover ] And the children’s magazine Highlights. [ reveal cover ] Aw, that was a FUN shoot!
Um — okay, let me just get this out of the way. Yes. It’s very nervewracking to do nude scenes. But, I believe that, if it’s worth the integrity of the story, an actor should go for it.
[ Andy Samberg enters ]
Andy Samberg: Hi, Anne, sorry to interrupt.
Anne Hathaway: Oh! It’s okay, Andy!
Andy Samberg: Sorry. I have a couple of changes in the Boardroom sketch.
Anne Hathaway: Uh-huh?
Andy Samberg: We’re putting you in a curlier wig, and we’re changing the name of the company to TechnoTech.
Anne Hathaway: Oh. Okay! That’s better! Yeah!
Andy Samberg: Yeah. Oh, and, uh, also — we’re gonna need you to be naked.
Anne Hathaway: Oh. Um… is it important to the scene?
Andy Samberg: [ bluffing ] It is… SO important.
Anne Hathaway: Then, I’ll do it!
Andy Samberg: Thank you.
[ Andy makes an ecstatic face and exits the stage ]
Anne Hathaway: Okay, now where was I? Oh, right, right! Serving the story.
[ Bobby Moynihan rushes on stage ]
Bobby Moynihan: Hey, Anne!
Anne Hathaway: Hey, Bobby!
Bobby Moynihan: Hey, how are you?
Anne Hathaway: What’s up?
Bobby Moynihan: Hey, uh, in the Turkey Family sketch?
Anne Hathaway: Mmm-hmm?
Bobby Moynihan: Uh, we made a few changes. Uh — you’re still gonna have the beak and the wattle, but, uh, other than that, you’re gonna be naked.
Anne Hathaway: [ confused at first, then smiles ] Oh! Like, like, like — [ she laughs ] a turkey that’s had all its feathers plucked! Gosh, that’s hilarious!
Bobby Moynihan: [ humoring her with a loud guffaw ] Yeah! Wait — so, wait — you’ll do it?
Anne Hathaway: Yeah!
Bobby Moynihan: GREAT! [ looks offstage ] Andy! It worked!
[ Bobby rushes offstage to join Andy ]
Anne Hathaway: Everyone is so great here! So, anyway, if the story —
[ Kenan Thompson suddenly appears onstage ]
Kenan Thompson: Heeeey, Anne! In the, uh, Funeral sketch —
Anne Hathaway: Get naked?
Kenan Thompson: Great minds!
[ Kenan exits the stage ]
Anne Hathaway: anyway, “integrity” is probably my favorite word.
[ Kristen Wiig suddenly appears onstage ]
Kristen Wiig: Anne, Anne, Anne, Anne! Oh. Anne. Um… [ pause ]
Anne Hathaway: [ filling the gap ] Hi, Kristen!
Kristen Wiig: Hi. You don’t have to take — to be naked to be taken seriously as an actor.
Anne Hathaway: That’s not why I do it, Kristen. Like — like I said, it’s about the craft, it’s about art, it’s about trust. And I really trust these guys.
[ reveal Kenan, Andy, and Bobby holding up mini-camcorders with their tongues wagging ]
Kristen Wiig: Yeah… you were never gonna get naked, were you?
Anne Hathaway: Nah! I wasn’t. I just lied to make them happy!
Kristen Wiig: [ to the audience ] And that’s what Thanksgiving is all about!
[ Kristen exits the stage ]
Anne Hathaway: It sure is! We have a GREAT show for you tonight. I’m SO excisted to be hosting again! Florence and the Machine is here! So stick around, we’ll be right back!