SNL Transcripts: Robert DeNiro: 12/04/10: The Abacus Conundrum



 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 36: Episode 8












10h: Robert DeNiro / Diddy Dirty Money

The Abacus Conundrum

Harlan Kane…..Robert DeNiro

[ open on images of various book covers ]

Announcer: From best selling novelist Harlan Kane, author of “The Medici Codex”, “The Perseus Enigma”, and “The Genghis Rubicon”… comes an all-new thriller that you won’t be able to put down:

[ dissolve to new book cover ]

Announcer: “The Abacus Conundrum”.

[ dissolve to Harlan Kane proudly holding up his new book ]

Harlan Kane: I wrote another book. Buckle up!

[ dissolve to more book covers ]

Announcer: He had you on the edge of your seat, with “The Harlequin Protocol”, “The Ichabod Formula”, and “The Pinochet Sudoku”.

[ dissolve to new book cover ]

Announcer: He’ll blow you over the edge… with “The Abacus Conundrum”.

[ dissolve to close-up of Harlan Kane ]

Harlan Kane: Did you buckle up yet?

[ dissolve to more book covers ]

Announcer: “The Nostradamus Mechanism”, “The Godiva Gyroscope”, “The Pokemon Directive”.

[ dissolve to close-up of Harlan Kane smirking ]

Announcer: And now, Harlan Kane has crafted his most brilliant adventure yet!

[ cut to Harlan Kane jumping from the excitement of reading his own book ]

Harlan Kane: Whoa-oa! [ laughing ] Didn’t see that coming! [ he holds his composure and smirks ]

[ dissolve to more book covers ]

Announcer: The acclaimed visionary behind “The Vespucci Containment”, “The Grimmelman Mosaic”, and “The Marmaduke Betrayal”.

[ dissolve to new book cover ]

Announcer: And now… “The Abacus Conundrum”.

[ cut to Harlan Kane still reading his own book ]

Harlan Kane: A lot of good words in this book.

[ dissolve to more book covers ]

Announcer: AND… in January 2011… get ready for: “The Picasso Imbroglio”, “The Brenda Effect”, “The Fuddruckers Ultimatum”, AND “Mac for Dummies”.

[ dissolve to close-up of Harlan Kane smirking and moving his head around ]

Announcer: ALL from visionary author Harlan Kane!

[ dissolve to new book cover ]

Announcer: “The Abacus Conundrum”.

[ dissolve to Harlan Kane shrugging his shoulders ]

Harlan Kane: I don’t know. People keep reading them!

[ dissolve to new book cover, with “$8.99 at Rite-Aid” tag ]

Announcer: Available EVERYWHERE!

[ fade ]

SNL Transcripts

Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. - LinkedIn

avatar
  Subscribe  
Notify of