Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 36: Episode 9]]>
Air Date:
Host:
Musical Guest:
Special Guests:
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December 11th, 2010
Paul Rudd
Paul McCartney
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None A Message from the President of the United States
Summary: After being held hostage by the Republican Party, President Barack Obama (Fred Armisen) willingly authorizes tax cuts for the rich.
Recurring Characters: President Barack Obama.
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Montage
Paul Rudd’s MonologueSummary: Paul Rudd mistakenly thought fans chanting “Paul! Paul!” outside the building were interested in him, until he realizes his musical guest is Paul McCartney.
Transcript
Feline Culinary CreationsSummary: Succulent gourmet dishes are used as the inspiration for the wet square glop that ends up in finicky cats’ dinner bowls.
Note: This ad parody was cut from the dress rehearsals of the last two episodes.
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VogelchecksSummary: The affectionate Vogelcheck Family (Fred Armisen, Kristen Wiig, Bill Hader, Paul Rudd) greet Romanian relatives (Nasim Pedrad, Paul Brittain) with wet, sloppy kisses over Christmas.
Recurring Characters: Mr. Vogelcheck, Mrs. Vogelcheck, Dwayne Vogelcheck, Santa Claus.
What’s That Name?Summary: Game show contestants (Paul Rudd, Vanessa Bayer) recognize third-tier celebrities, but can’t recall the little people like a building doorman (Kenan Thompson) and cleaning lady (Kristen Wiig) who are a part of their daily lives.
Note: This sketch was cut from the dress rehearsal of last month’s episode hosted by Scarlett Johansson.
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An SNL Digital ShortSummary: Andy Samberg and Paul Rudd are “Stumblin'” through life, with a tiny harmonica interlude courtesy of Paul McCartney.
Julian Assange in PrisonSummary: From prison, WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange (Bill Hader interrupts a MasterCard ad to threaten his return to do personal harm against favorite Internet web sites.
Recurring Characters: Julian Assange.
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Sexually SpeakingSummary: Aggressive producer Roger Brush (Fred Armisen) fills in when the regular female host is too ill to do the show.
Recurring Characters: Roger Brush.
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Paul McCartney performs “Jet”Lyrics
Weekend Update with Seth MeyersSummary: Paul McCartney join Seth Meyers for a Weekend Update Audio Caption by Prince Charles and Camilla. Stefon (Bill Hader) lists more inappropriate New York hotspots for families on Christmas vacation.
Recurring Characters: Stefon.
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Holiday JamSummary: Math teacher (Paul Rudd) makes bad puns as the school principal (Jay Pharoah) gets overemotional about the school mascot.
Meryl Streep On IceSummary: Despite lack of experience, Meryl Streep (Abby Elliott) is a beloved genius when she straps on a pair of ice skates and performs at Madison Square Garden.
Recurring Characters: Meryl Streep.
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Paul McCartney performs “Band on the Run”Lyrics
Broadway CaresSummary: Paul Rudd’s efforts to perform a solo from “Cabaret” is interrupted by stagehand Jeff’s (Jason Sudeikis) antics with the spotlight.
Recurring Characters: Mike Underballs, Jeff.
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Paul McCartney performs “A Day in the Life” / “Give Peace a Chance”Lyrics
Goodnights / Paul McCartney performs “Get Back”Transcript
Dress Rehearsal Cuts
Baby, It’s Cold OutsideSummary: A couple (Paul Rudd, Kristen Wiig) sing a Christmas ditty to one another.
Job FairSummary: Recruiters (Jason Sudeikis, Nasim Pedrad) interview a series of nervous and/or weird people and Paul McCartney for an available computer job.
BlackjackSummary: Blackjack dealer doesn’t properly deal the cards to players.
The Giving TreeSummary: Storyteller (Paul Rudd) goes nuts while reading a Christmas story to kids.