SNL Transcripts: Paul Rudd: 12/11/10: Paul Rudd’s Monologue



 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 36: Episode 8








10i: Paul Rudd / Paul McCartney

Paul Rudd’s Monologue

…..Paul Rudd
…..Paul McCartney
…..Paul Brittain

Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen — Paul Rudd!

Paul Rudd: Thank you! Wow! Whoo! Thank you, thank you, thank you SO much! It is so great to be hosting “Saturday Night Live” for the second time! The first time, I was nervous. But, uh, I must have sone something right because, this time, when I walked into the studio, there were all these people lined up in the freezing cold, chanting “Paul! Paul! Paul!” All for me — Paul Rudd! And those fans, they’re intense. One lady sat there crying, just because she was, like, in my presence. Can you imagine? Then someone yelled out “Yesterday!” [ he shrugs ] Which I guess it was a reference to this NPR interview I gave yesterday. I didn’t even think anyone was listening to that! To be hoest, though, some of those fans know a little too much about me. Uh — one guy screamed out: “Her Majesty!” Which, uh, is my nickname on movie sets by the crew. I don’t know how he found out about it. Internet, I guess. But, most of all, they were just screaming my name: “Paul! Paul! Paul!” It was an INCREDIBLE experience —

[ the audience screams and cheers wildly as Paul McCartney appears onstage and shakes Rudd’s hand ]

Paul Rudd: It’s really amazing to be here with you, Sir Paul — [ a light goes on in his head ] OHHHH!!! Oh, I know — right! They were cheering for you. They were cheering for you.

Paul McCartney: Well, I was cheering for you. I LOVED “Role Models”.

Paul Rudd: Awwww! That’s… that’s so nice! Oh, thank you so much. No disrespect, man — I’m just glad to clear up this whole “Paul” business.

[ Paul Brittain appears onstage ]

Paul Brittain: Yo, yo, yo! Featured player Paul Brittain is in the mother-freakin’ house! [ the audience obliges him with applause ] Yeah! Yeah! And, uh, people — [ he notices Rudd’s cold stare ] Oh. Oh. Right.

[ Paul Brittain exits quickly ]

Paul McCartney: He seemed nice.

Paul Rudd: Yeah. He’s new. [ to the audience ] Well, anyway… we’ve got a great show.

Paul McCartney: And all sorts of Pauls are here!

[ the audience cheers ]

Paul Rudd: Stick around, we’ll be right back!

SNL Transcripts

Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. - LinkedIn

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